I wanted to introduce myself to you since it seems that you’ve never heard of me, which is a bit surprising since I’ve played against the Cubs a total of seventy games over the last six years. Of course you probably haven’t watched much baseball over the last few years if the Cubs record is any indication….(Hmmm, I think that came out wrong, let me start over).
My name is Craig Wilson and I wanted to offer my services to the 2007 Chicago Cubs (and hopefully beyond). I assume you’re unfamiliar with my credentials, you’ve probably been
too busy driving a $100 million dollar team into the ground while keeping the fanbase excited about the season
trying to build the World Championship team that the good fans of Chicago deserve. Sorry to hear about the bad ticker by the way, Ryan Dempster will do that to a fella..haha!
Anyway, I think I’m a perfect fit for your team and let me tell you why. Here are my numbers since I’ve joined the league, including my lefty/righty splits.
vs Righties: 253/338/455
Three Year Splits
vs Lefties: 272/378/497
vs Righties: 255/337/458
I guess I should explain that second number to you, my agent says you might not have heard about it. It's called OBP or On-Base Percentage and it is a measure of a player’s ability to reach base, the higher
the number the better you are at NOT MAKING OUTS.
The less outs a player makes, the more valuable they are to a team. There are different standards out there but usually .350 or better
is the mark of a player who controls the strike zone, makes pitchers work, saves puppies, loves children and deserves a guaranteed three year/eighteen million dollar deal.
Alright, enough of SABR 101, because I got more skills. Remember Glenallen Hill? Are late-inning homers that win games something that might interest you? Then I’m your man. As you noticed, I crush the lefties and right now your bench options against lefties are Ryan Theriot, Henry Blanco, Ronny Cedeno (if you don’t have him killed first) and Matt Murton on the days Cliff Floyd is playing (assuming you do indeed sign him, what's the delay?). Now unless you intend to win with a lot of well-placed groundballs (Murton and Theriot) or dropped third strikes (Cedeno and Blanco) late in the game, it seems like you could use a righty stick with a bit of punch. Word is that Wrigley is pretty friendly to the right-handed hitters and a lot friendlier than the two parks I called home most of my career, PNC and Yankee Stadium.
Now defensively I’m no John Mabry, but I’ll hold my own. I can play each of the corner outfield spots, first base and even throw on the catching gear if need be. They moved me out of that position for a reason, but in case of emergency I’m more than happy to help out. Hell, you’ve been living with Michael Barrett back there for the last three years, I don’t think anyone will notice if I don’t throw out anybody or let a ball or two reach the backstop.
Now you might be worried about my numbers in New York after I got traded last offseason, thinking I can’t handle the spotlight of the big city. I’m telling you it’s no big deal. It was a new league, I didn’t get a lot of at-bats to adjust, A-rod kept badgering me about his Q rating in Pittsburgh, Jeter was trying to get me involved in a bunch of three-ways with his groupies and Giambi wouldn’t stop trying to prove his nutsack didn’t shrink. It was just a weird dynamic that threw my game off, I’m ready to roll in 2007.
Now you might also be worried about my numbers at Wrigley, a meek 186/292/340 in 113 PA's. I'm worried too, but numbers don't seem to get in the way of what you do anyway. Plus the bars are good around Wrigley and we were visiting. I'm sure I'd get bored of them quick enough.
I was hoping to cash in on a regular DH or first base gig this offseason, but teams seem scared off by players with power and patience. It’s cool, I’ll chill on the bench ready for my shot in the late innings, give me a start once in awhile, maybe platoon me with Jacque Jones (do I need to explain the term platoon to you?) or just be ready when the next season-crushing injury happens to one of your best players. It’s cool man, I’m good for whatever.
So give my agent a call when you get a chance, I think we’d be good for each other.