Match The Ex-Cub To The Excuse

This former Northsider is now feeling as fit as a sub-replacement level fiddle. But that wasn't the case last season:
“(He) fought through a sports hernia all of last season with the Cubs... He underwent surgery for that. Even bigger… he finally underwent an operation to clean out loose bodies in his throwing elbow.”
Any guesses?
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Comments

Williams?

Sounds like Mr. Mabry.

loose bodies in the elbow... I hate it when that happens!

Williamson?

I think WorldsGreatestNewspaperStatic is on it. Gotta go with Johnny Mabry, who's looking an awful lot like he's going to break camp with the big club in Colorado.

WGNstatic takes the prize, which, in this case, is suspicion of actually being a John Mabry fan.

The story caught my eye because it suggests either things are terribly uninteresting in the Rockies camp or the mlb.com beat writer covering the team is seriously lacking in story ideas.

Also, I LOVE the notion of "loose bodies in the elbow."

Also, on the injury front:

Can someone explain to me why there are separate 15- and 60-day Disabled Lists? It seems like players are routinely moved from one to the other, without any limitation on the number of slots in either one.

A player on the 60-day DL is removed from the 40-man roster and the team has an open slot to bring someone in. I'm sure there might be some other details to it, but that's the big difference.

Hey what is wrong with being a Mabry fan? For some reason, everytime I see his name I think Andy Griffith and Don Knotts!

Don Knotts... now that I think about it, that pretty much sums up the 2006 season!

Someone last year on the chat had Mabry pegged as looking like your neighbor mowing his lawn.

WGNStat gets my biggest LOL today.

Don Knotts- classic comedy gold. Plus, he's dead. Still appropriate regarding 2006.

huh?

wtf?

Hey there Champ. Maybe you better stop talking for awhile. Maybe sit out for a couple of minutes. Justin

I deleted that particular message. Happy to let him repost it with an explanation of how it's not some obscene stream of conscious post. Otherwise, happy trails.

The post signifies the Cubs as an infant team, a new team that needs to be nurtured until fully developed. In the same that we, as humans, need to be fed, so do the Cubs. As a man of medicine, colostrum is the most beneficial component of breast milk. In this case, colostrum is nothing more than support. Without it, we will have another disappointing season. I cannot produce milk from my loins. As hard as I have tried, I simply cannot do it. Does anybody have a sense of humor??????

may we take unto our breasts the game won today. nurture it, attach to it, so it becomes 120 games one day. as it sucks from our teets colustrum at first, assure it to latch on for that is the worst. next will come milk brewed from my loins, and from this it can earn championship coins. drink it all down, down to the last drop, licking my nipple unitl i beg it to stop

As a man of medicine, colostrum is the most beneficial component of breast milk.

So, you're a lactation consultant?

Ok, fine. It's stupid and verging on incoherent gobblety-gook (verging? I must be feeling patient), but fine.

Except no, it's not a matter of whether or not I have a sense of humor. It's whether or not you are intelligible or just full of it. I have my doubts.

Man, can THAT guy clear a (chat) room.

Justin,

Now THAT is funny!

Justin,

And by THAT I mean what you wrote.

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