Mariners@Cubs–A Preview Of Tonight’s 7th Inning

(THE SOUNDS OF A MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL GAME ARE AUDIBLE IN THE BACKGROUND THROUGHOUT. OCCASIONALLY, CROWD REACTION SWELLS, BUT THE CONVERSATION CONTINUES MOSTLY UNINTERRUPTED) PAT: Pat Hughes and Ron Santo back at Wrigley Field, where the Cubs behind the pitching of Rich Hill are leading the Mariners 3-0, and on “Country Music Night,” we’re pleased to welcome in country recording artist and former American Idol contestant, Kellie Pickler. Kellie, welcome. KELLIE: Why thank you, it’s wonderful to be here. PAT: Now Kellie, is this your first time at Wrigley Field? KELLIE: Yes it is. It’s my first time in Chicago. (SHE LAUGHS) RON: Isn’t it a beautiful city? KELLIE: Absolutely, I just love it. RON: Where have you been, Kellie? KELLIE: (AFTER A PAUSE) You mean, in my life? RON: No, here in Chicago. What sights have you seen? KELLIE: Oh, oh. Well, I’ve been all over Chicago. I just love it. (LONG SILENCE) RON: Where are you from, Kellie? KELLIE: I’m from Albemarle, North Carolina near Charlotte. RON: I could tell by your accent. We were just in Atlanta. (LONG SILENCE) RON: Are you a baseball fan, Kellie? KELLIE: Oh, yeah, I love baseball. RON: Do you have a favorite team? KELLIE: I kinda like the Braves, I guess. But after tonight, I think I’m gonna be a Cubs fan. (SHE AND RON LAUGH) RON: I understand you were on the American Idol, is that right? KELLIE: Yes, I sure was. RON: Now, I have never watched the American Idol, but there’s one thing I’ve always wondered about that show... PAT: (CUTTING RON OFF) Excuse me, Ron. The Mariners have loaded the bases and now Will Ohman is coming in from the bullpen, replacing Rich Hill, who's getting a nice hand from the crowd. Go ahead, Ron. RON: I have always wondered, does the producer pick the songs for you, Kellie? KELLIE: No, we always picked our own songs, but the producer helps and sometimes he'll make a suggestion, so yeah, sometimes. RON: That’s great. Just great. PAT: Kellie, you have a new album out on BNA Records. Tell us a little bit about it. KELLIE: Sure, it’s called “Small Town Girl,” because that’s what I am...a small town girl. And it’s doing really well on the country charts. RON: What kind of music do you sing, Kellie? KELLIE: Country. I’m a country singer. RON: That’s just great. There’s one thing I’ve always wondered about country music... PAT: Excuse me, Ron. Raul Ibanez has just hit a grand slam to put the Mariners ahead 4-3. Kellie, I understand you’re going to be leaving us, but thanks for stopping in. KELLIE: My pleasure. (KELLIE AND RON AND FOUR OR FIVE OTHER PEOPLE CAN BE HEARD EXCHANGING GOODBYES IN THE BACKGROUND) PAT: Lou Piniella is about to make a pitching change and when you need to make a change, come to Jiffy Lube. We’ll be back in a minute.
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Comments

I assume this is a parody of last night's insufferable three - inning stint with Larry the Cable Doofus. When the mongoloid made a joke about farting, I finally hit the mute button - hope the folks at WGN made a ton of promotional dollars for that arse kissing he got from the poor announcers.

this is sick, yet eerily familiar...

Good work Cubnut. Very good work.

Cubnut wins.

It was almost like I was actually hearing Ronny trying to form real words and sentences.

And that Larry the Cable Guy segment was absolutely awful last night.

Yea... I was definitely hearing Santo say those things. Kinda' scary that this is probably a pretty accurate look at what tonights conversation will look like.

Thanks, all.

Dmac--this is not a reaction to last night, but a blueprint for tonight when Kellie Pickler actually sings the national anthem and TMOTTB in the seventh.

Crystal ball I say...

Astros sign Chan Ho Park, option to New Orleans; will be re-evaluated after 3-4 starts.

Nice work, Cubnut.

I too heard Ron Santo.

Uncanny.

Astros sign Chan Ho Park

haha.

If not for anything else, the Cubs will be in the playoff race solely based on the Astros signing Park and the Cardinals using Todd Wellemeyer in their rotation.

What's a Kellie Pickler?

+1 Cubnut

Legit question? Have they ever come up with definative proof that Ron and Harry ARENT related?

I love listening to Ron Santo. He gets so damned crabby and bummed out by things. It's hilarious in the wake of yet another trainwreck of a season. Poor old Ronny is usually so out of it that he doesn't recall which city the Cubs are playing in or the team they are going up against. But that's alright. He's comedy in the midst of a clusterfuck. Pat Hughes is his seeing eye dog in the booth. Gives him something to do, because his play-by-play call sure ain't cuttin' it.

lmao...

Wait... [stops laughing] that's entirely plausible.

Bravo.

Harry was an orphan, right... So it's conceivable he and Santo are related.

We should start a fundraiser to get him DNA tested....

ST... I like Ron because he says exactly what we're all thinking, down to every "owhhh geezz, why did he do that?" and "you've got to be kidding me..."

Great Stuff Cubnut!!

btw: I forwarded it to Pat & Ron.

cwtp - you really forwarded it to them? That would be hilarious to hear how they take it...

Yep, really Jace.

Nice work Cubnut - great observation of the speech patterns, etc. And hilarious.

PAGAN, MURTON, THERIOT in
PIE, FONTENOT out

1. A Soriano, LF .311 10 22 8
2. A Pagan, CF .294 2 5 3
3. D Lee, 1B .329 6 35 3
4. M Barrett, C .246 9 27 2
5. M DeRosa, 3B .264 6 31 0
6. M Murton, RF .259 1 8 1
7. R Theriot, 2B .274 1 20 9
8. C Izturis, SS .252 0 6 2
9. R Hill, P

hilarious. It would have still been funny but the "LONG SILENCE" after Ronny spoke was classic.

I read this just after hearing the actual interview with Kellie P. Spookily prescient.

[...] The Club Reporter: Mariners@Cubs�A Preview Of Tonight�s 7th Inning By Cubnut | June 12th, 2007 (THE SOUNDS OF A MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL GAME ARE AUDIBLE IN THE BACKGROUND THROUGHOUT. OCCASIONALLY, CROWD REACTION SWELLS, BUT THE CONVERSATION CONTINUES MOSTLY UNINTERRUPTED) PAT: Pat Hughes and Ron Santo back at Wrigley Field, where the Cubs behind the pitching of Rich Hill are leading the Mariners 3-0, and on �Country Music Night,� we�re pleased to welcome in country recording artist and former American Idol contestant, Kellie Pickler. Kellie, welcome. KELLIE: Why thank you, it�s wonderful to be here. PAT: Now Kellie, is this your first time at Wrigley Field? KELLIE: Yes it is. It�s my first time in Chicago. (SHE LAUGHS) RON: Isn�t it a beautiful city? KELLIE: Absolutely, I just love it. RON: Where have you been, Kellie? KELLIE: (AFTER A PAUSE) You mean, in my life? RON: No, here in Chicago. What sights have you seen? KELLIE: Oh, oh. Well, I�ve been all over Chicago. I just love it. (LONG SILENCE) RON: Where are you from, Kellie? KELLIE: I�m from Albemarle, North Carolina near Charlotte. RON: I could tell by your accent. We were just in Atlanta. (LONG SILENCE) RON: Are you a baseball fan, Kellie? KELLIE: Oh, yeah, I love baseball. RON: Do you have a favorite team? KELLIE: I kinda like the Braves, I guess. But after tonight, I think I�m gonna be a Cubs fan. (SHE AND RON LAUGH) RON: I understand you were on the American Idol, is that right? KELLIE: Yes, I sure was. RON: Now, I have never watched the American Idol, but there�s one thing I�ve always wondered about that show� PAT: (CUTTING RON OFF) Excuse me, Ron. The Mariners have loaded the bases and now Will Ohman is coming in from the bullpen, replacing Rich Hill, who�s getting a nice hand from the crowd. Go ahead, Ron. RON: I have always wondered, does the producer pick the songs for you, Kellie? KELLIE: No, we always picked our own songs, but the producer helps and sometimes he�ll make a suggestion, so yeah, sometimes. RON: That�s great. Just great. PAT: Kellie, you have a new album out on BNA Records. Tell us a little bit about it. KELLIE: Sure, it�s called �Small Town Girl,� because that�s what I am�a small town girl. And it�s doing really well on the country charts. RON: What kind of music do you sing, Kellie? KELLIE: Country. I�m a country singer. RON: That�s just great. There�s one thing I�ve always wondered about country music� PAT: Excuse me, Ron. Raul Ibanez has just hit a grand slam to put the Mariners ahead 4-3. Kellie, I understand you�re going to be leaving us, but thanks for stopping in. KELLIE: My pleasure. (KELLIE AND RON AND FOUR OR FIVE OTHER PEOPLE CAN BE HEARD EXCHANGING GOODBYES IN THE BACKGROUND) PAT: Lou Piniella is about to make a pitching change and when you need to make a change, come to Jiffy Lube. We�ll be back in a minute. The Cub Reporter | MVN - Most Valuable Network � Blog Archive � Mariners@Cubs–A Preview Of Tonight’s 7th Inning [...]

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