I Can't Wait for Derrek Lee to Punch Sean Marshall in the Mouth
Wednesday night the Brewers won their 8th consecutive game, and the consensus is that the streak grew directly out of the dugout shoving match-turned-public apology involving Prince Fielder and Manny Parra. (Note to consensus: the fact that the Brewers have been playing the Nats and the Padres might also be a contributing factor.)
The Cubs have been doing just fine, thank you—7 consecutive road wins,11 victories in 14 games overall, maintaining a 3 1/2-game lead in the NL Central—but still, it's nice to know that we could conjure an 8-game run whenever we needed it simply by initiating a little Cub-on-Cub action.
Hell, it's not like we don't have the boys with backgrounds in intramural brawling: Lou Piniella (grappled with Rob Dibble to a draw), Ted Lilly (TKO over his Toronto manager, John Gibbons), and Carlos Zambrano (knocked out Michael Barrett, all the way into the National League West!).
Sure, we could follow the Milwaukee match-making strategy and have Lee (our Fielder) take on Marshall (our Parra), or we could be a little more creative.
— Geovany Soto takes on Henry Blanco. "The Battle of the Backstops." (Soto would do almost all of the fighting; Blanco would only be responsible for every seventh or eighth punch.)
— Mike Fontenot vs. Ryan Theriot. "The Showdown of the Raging Cajuns." Let's find out which sparkplug fires hotter, once and for all!
— Rich Harden meets Ryan Dempster. The provincial honor of British Columbia—that's what it's all aboot.
— Mark DeRosa vs. Alfonso Soriano, Kosuke Fukudome, and Aramis Ramirez. (DeRosa takes on a different opponent on three consecutive days, only no one tells him who he's up against until he gets to the ballpark.)