I Can't Wait for Derrek Lee to Punch Sean Marshall in the Mouth

Wednesday night the Brewers won their 8th consecutive game, and the consensus is that the streak grew directly out of the dugout shoving match-turned-public apology involving Prince Fielder and Manny Parra. (Note to consensus: the fact that the Brewers have been playing the Nats and the Padres might also be a contributing factor.)

The Cubs have been doing just fine, thank you—7 consecutive road wins,11 victories in 14 games overall, maintaining a 3 1/2-game lead in the NL Central—but still, it's nice to know that we could conjure an 8-game run whenever we needed it simply by initiating a little Cub-on-Cub action.

Hell, it's not like we don't have the boys with backgrounds in intramural brawling: Lou Piniella (grappled with Rob Dibble to a draw), Ted Lilly (TKO over his Toronto manager, John Gibbons), and Carlos Zambrano (knocked out Michael Barrett, all the way into the National League West!).

Sure, we could follow the Milwaukee match-making strategy and have Lee (our Fielder) take on Marshall (our Parra), or we could be a little more creative.

Some ideas:

— Geovany Soto takes on Henry Blanco. "The Battle of the Backstops." (Soto would do almost all of the fighting; Blanco would only be responsible for every seventh or eighth punch.)

— Mike Fontenot vs. Ryan Theriot. "The Showdown of the Raging Cajuns." Let's find out which sparkplug fires hotter, once and for all!

— Rich Harden meets Ryan Dempster. The provincial honor of British Columbia—that's what it's all aboot.

— Mark DeRosa vs. Alfonso Soriano, Kosuke Fukudome, and Aramis Ramirez. (DeRosa takes on a different opponent on three consecutive days, only no one tells him who he's up against until he gets to the ballpark.)

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crunch 04/15/2024 - 04:08 pm (view)

suzuki says he injured his oblique running to 1st, not swinging. okay. it's gonna be that kind of 2024 cubs year, huh?

i would say that's good news compared to screwing it up swinging, but i'm not familiar with the recovery time of people screwing up their oblique by running.

right side is at least different from his left side oblique injury last year.
crunch 04/15/2024 - 04:58 pm (view)

5 IN A ROW!

hack wilson, ryne sandberg, sammy sosa, christopher morel, and michael busch.
Cubster 04/15/2024 - 04:46 pm (view)

A bit more Jewish take on one of my favorite Cubs, Kenny Holtzman. His 9-0 season while serving in the National Guard and being available to pitch on weekends was one of my coolest teen recollections.

https://www.israelnationalnews.com/news/388554
Cubster 04/15/2024 - 04:47 pm (view)

Suzuki out with oblique strain. Canario indeed is called up. No word on Morel so that might be a red herring (or a red digit).
AZ lineup is posted but Counsell is always late to post his lineup.
crunch 04/15/2024 - 04:06 pm (view)

You have to C it! (tm)
Dolorous Jon Lester 04/15/2024 - 04:01 pm (view)

Best hitter: IL with oblique strain
Second best hitter: hasn’t looked the same since jamming his right hand during a swing
Third best hitter: playing through a sore hammy
Best pitcher: IL after one start
Second best RP: IL after 1.5 weeks
Noice
crunch 04/15/2024 - 04:58 pm (view)

suzuki 10d IL.

right oblique strain. ow. that's generally more than a 10d thing.
Dolorous Jon Lester 04/15/2024 - 04:56 pm (view)

Seiya on IL with an oblique strain
crunch 04/15/2024 - 04:47 pm (view)

cooper and morel are on the field doing pre-game stuff so it's not them...
George Altman 04/15/2024 - 04:56 pm (view)

I'll always remember his 3-0 No-hitter against the Braves when Aaron's HR was blown back into the LF well and BIlly Williams made the catch with his back against the ivy.

Cubs MLB Roster

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