Jay Mariotti Discovers the Internet
The folks at Deadspin already had this covered and Fire Jay Mariotti looks to be back in business, but let it be known that Jay Mariotti is back for the New Year and he's proclaiming that the Internet is the wave of the future. Mariotti is also predicting a deep global recession, the U.S. voting in a black president., Ken Griffey Jr. being traded to the Reds and that one day, people will walk around with telephones in their pockets.
Of course, his entire article is just more of the same bullshit he spewed on the back inside cover of the Sun-Times three to four times a week, there's little point in dissecting it. More importantly though, they've allowed AOL users to comment on his articles.
No good shall come of this...
markot09 03:46:59 AM Jan 05 2009
first!! jay rulz
Welcome to the Internet indeed, Jay!
prans42 08:31:22 AM Jan 05 2009
....Woody has forgotten more than Jay has ever known, and he is the one who schools on Around the Horn.
prans42=Woody Paige's mother
nashonaluo 10:36:18 AM Jan 05 2009
Jay,You're an unskilled moron... you write for the sole purpose of generating controversy. The next original thought you have will be your first. Of course, this criticism of you is hardly original. Virtually everyone hates you. You're a joke.As for AOL, sayonara...
justinshaype 10:48:28 AM Jan 05 2009
Jay is on the cutting edge with AOL. He also just got a nice beeper at RadioShack, and a 12 pack of Crystal Pepsi. Welcome to obscurity, hack.
bjngnnss 11:07:30 AM Jan 05 2009
Wow - it's amazing the level of detail you can come up to spin your side of the story. That's the BS you can dream up in your head when you're off for 3 months.Mariotti column recipe:General pontification, followed by a pop culture referenceGeneral cut down comment toward manager/GM/ownerComparative of historical data vs other marketsAnother pop culture referenceCute "Moronotti" nickname (Rexperiment, Blizzard of Ozz)Moronotti directive as to how he would do thingsClosing smartass comment, talking down to general publicThen, when the article is 10000x wrong, jump the bandwagon like a little girl. Google Eric Zorn's awesome Chicago Tribune article to show how much this idiot flip flops. Enjoy AOL - A$$holes On Lease.
A solid attempt at the Mad Libs version of a Jay Mariotti article I must say. On a sidenote, why would a profanity filter replace Assholes with A$$holes, exactly what is being gained here?
edgecrusher433 10:03:33 AM Jan 06 2009
Dear Jay,I hate you with every inch of my soul. You are the unholy embodiment of everything that is wrong with sports journalism in the modern age. Although I'm sure you fancy yourself the second coming of Shirley Povich, in reality you are the illegitimate bastard spawn of declining integrity standards and reality tv. I'll make you a deal though, once AOL's put out of misery and the sun-times is still chugging along, I'll pay you two shiny nickels a week to wash and wax ozzie's car.
walshjf3 06:40:46 AM Jan 06 2009 Jay, I was soooo glad you left Chicago. The only time I missed you was when I put the newspaper on the bottom of my birdcage ( it wasn't near as satisfying as it was with you column in the drop zone). I'll have to get my sports elswhere now. You are a little man with little ideas.
savethemooses818 03:44:20 PM Jan 05 2009
I was going to read this column, but then I saw a tease at the bottom of this page for a slideshow of what the Family Matters stars look like now. It was a fascinating piece of journalism that I recommend to everybody! Maybe you need to start covering mediocre 90s sitcoms, Jay! They're the wave of the future!!!
I will admit, if I could get 5 minutes back, I'd rather have the ones I used to read Mariotti's article over The Family Matters picture gallery. Good to see Jaleel White still on his feet instead of trying to rob a video store and OD'ing...although I guess there's still time for that in his career.
flexcavana44 09:56:35 AM Jan 06 2009
Dear Jay, Eat shit and die.Signed, Everyone
I must say, well-said and poignant. You're the Walt Whitman of commenting, flexcavan44.
The 76% disapproval rating by the AOL readers at the bottom of the story did restore my faith in humanity for a minute. That is until I came across another account of Santa Clause shooting a girl in the face. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!
Maybe he got injured diving for the ball in LF? I really hope it's not code for a "strained oblique"....
Our starting pitching kinda sucks for #3-5.
Schwarber out with "sore ribs"
/sorry to interrupt the magic number talk
JOHN B: Pierce Johnson and Rob Zastryzny were likely 2015 AFL candidates ( I mentioned them as likely candidates to get assigned to the AFL in an article about the AFL last month) because they are starting pitchers who missed part of the season due to injuries and they need to accrue more innings. Guys who have been pitching regularly as starters have thrown too many innings to be considered, so it probably came down to Johnson, Zastryzny, and Duane Underwood Jr, with Underwood odd man out because he hasn't pitched above Hi-A.
Schwarber stays back and hammers a 3-2 change-up that was down and away. Very impressive.
And a good job to drive the ball to RF to advance the runner in the 8th. Encouraging.
It looks like the Cubs "post-season clinch number" is 25 right now: http://lyle.smu.edu/~olinick/riot/national_league.html
Is the magic number 25 or 26?
Agreed, to my untrained eyes he does look better than last season. Not a finished product yet and hopefully he will continue to improve, but if he plays solid middle infield defense he will stick in the majors.
Phillips smiled at Strop and gave him a thumbs up.
That pitch Schwarber hit is the kind he's been missing a lot of lately. When Schwarber struggles it reminds me of how hard it is to hit baseballs at that level. It doesn't seem like they've found a weakness, just that he isn't seeing the ball that great and just missing. Same with Rizzo the last few days.
I missed it. What did he do?
extremely classy. i didn't see his reaction until the replay after the break. baseball needs more fun in some areas and less of some 'unwritten rules' violations leading to angst.
Nice bounce back game for Grimm, and "well done" Dan Haren. We'll take that (almost) every time.
I have never been a Brandon Phillips fan, but that was a very classy way to handle Strop yelling at him after the K.
go cubs go