Name That Double-Play Combo!

Cubs fans, an opportunity presents itself that we cannot afford to ignore.  The starting middle-infielders on our team are:

  • Short
  • Skinny
  • "Scrappy"
  • Teammates since college
  • Own last names that rhyme with each other
  • Are generally just sort of adorable

And, someone surprisingly given Hendry's penchant for gathering unto the Ark two of every no-hit utility man, these guys are, most importantly

  • pretty good baseball players!

It's time to give Ryan Theriot and Mike Fontenot their own nickname.  Something that, after the Cubs win the World Series this year, will echo throughout the marbled halls of Cubs lore like "The Daily Double." 

More important, it should be something we can slap on a T-shirt and hawk outside of Wrigley, allowing the yet-unknown Adam who names this new creature in the Cubs garden to take home a generous 3% cut of TCR's profits on the venture.1

Of course, there already is a nickname in circulation, "The Cajun Connection."  That nickname however

  • is the name of several businesses
  • sounds like it could be a Sourthern escort service
  • is a bit of a mouthful
  • seems to have first been used by Paul Sullivan in a 2007 article
  • hasn't yet caught on to the point where it's cemented as their nickname

Follow me below the fold, wordsmiths, to discuss nicknames for our mighty middle infielders.

I propose we use this thread to brainstorm nicknames for our double-play combinations.  I'll sift through the suggestions,2 and we'll reconvene on Monday, April 20th, which 

  1. is a Monday, when our traffic generally is highest
  2. is an off day for the Cubs
  3. is April 20th, which will amuse a few of our more morally degenerate readers

At that time I'll post a poll listing as many finalists as the poll will allow, and we'll vote on the nominees.  The nickname with the most votes at the end of Sunday the 26th wins, and, on pain of certain and immediate death,3 we're all obligated to use the nickname for the rest of the season. 

1The three percent is negotiable. I'd hold out for 3.15% if I were you.

2 And by "sift" I mean I'll drunkenly glance at a few of them and, after factoring in bribes, come up with a short list

3 If certain and immediate death would inconvienience you, we might be able to arrange for you to instead receive season tickets to the Pirates.



There were a good series of initial ideas when I first broached this idea at the end of an old game recap


2 Scrappy 2 Quit by Jackstraw

"2-Short" and "The Not" by The Joe

The Ot Couple by T-Dubs

"Two from LSU" and "Scrap Incorporated" from The Real Neal


What else do you have?

The Cajun Persuasion

The Hot Jean-Carl

Two in the Pink without the Stink.

The Battin' Deluge. (hint: rhymes with Baton Rouge).


Fontherinot (Fon-ter-i-no)? Seems a little unwieldy.

the Gruesome Twosome

Mike n Ike

the Scarecrow and Mr. King (not sure which is which)

Bosom Buddies (a la the old Tom Hanks show)

the Tabasco Kids

Hot n Spicy (a little creepy, no?)

I'm an engineer, and therefore forbidden to enter the creative realm. I like Mike n Ike very much, though. So much, in fact, that if not chosen I may mutiny and allude to Mike n Ike on a regular basis.

Scrappy Squared
(I would suggest making this Scrappy raised to the two power, but I don't know how to put in superscript)



Or perhaps Scrap2


FWIW, I don't konw how to call up the rich-text editing bar that lets ME do this, either.  Sometimes it's there, sometimes it isn't... 


In any case, some nice new ideas showing up, already.

Yes, that's how I wanted it to look.


Dave: ha...

Anyways, my only contribution...
"The bayou two"

French Connection

The Tiger Cubs

- because they went to LSU and because they're tiny enough to be carried from the mouth by a mama Cub aka Big Z

Love this one. Please include in the vote. Tiger Cub is also the youngest and smallest rank in Boy Scouts/Cub Scouts.

Let's Scrap 2!

that's the way Ernie would say it anyway...

The Knotted Row?

The Whizzy Duo?

The Diminutive Double Play Duo

The Wee Men (or the French-inspired alternative, the Oui Men)
The Hammerin' Hobbits
The Bayou Bangers

Love the Oui Men. Excellent.


(or "The Scraptastics" if it needs pluralzing).

"The T-Men".

(in South Louisiana, when something's diminutive, it's given the prefix "t", as in "T-Boy" for "little boy" or if a father (i.e. "Mike") has a son with the same name, the son will be called "T-Mike" current sports example of this is "T-Bob Hebert" who is Bobby Hebert's son. "T" could also, doubly, stand for "Tigers").

Scrappy Deuce
Mighty Mights
Cajun Invasion

I had a scrappy deuce after lunch today. Damn those gyros!

Well played sir, well played!!

Do you mean Mighty Mites?

The Cajun Persuation

You must be this short to turn the double play

Some with strange, uncomfortable meanings:

French Kiss
Cajun Penetration
Double Penetration
The Fur Trappers
Frenchy and the Man
Frylock and Shake
Can I Borrow a Quarter for the Suicide Booth? (long but catchy!)

or I think this is probably the best one out there yet:


These are seriously cracking me up.

I can't include all of these options, so as you brainstorm new ideas, also flag some choices here that you would like to see appear when the poll goes up next week

I like The French Connection and Tobasco Kids. easy to remember and pronounce.

That Thing You Deux

I had one in parachat on that particular day and I can't remember what it was. It was really good, too. Going to bother me all day.

Also, this blog still needs more madlibs.

I'd already forgotten the mad libs, I'll cook up another for some off day.


I personally really liked T-Dubs "The Ot Couple" (play on The Odd Couple)

I can't get behind that one, though I love puns, because if it's the 'Ott Couple' then it doesn't bring to mind their names, but rather Mel Ott. If it's the 'Oh Couple' then it's a not as reminiscent of the play. At first glance, it's good but I think 3 years from now people would be wondering 'what the hell is an 'Ott Couple'?' when they see the T-shirts.

How about "The Ot-Boys" (Oh Boys!) Kinda reminds me of The Good Ol' Boys from the Blues Brothers.

Personally, my vote is probably going to Tiger Cubs.

Short and Shorter (double entendre, as their Louisiana brethren might say, with one of the positions played)

I also liked the Tiger Cubs.

Also, Ashley and Mary-Kate.

Sid and Marty Gras


The Beignet Boys

The Bead Tossers

I like VooDeux - or if I may expand 'Who-do VooDeux?'

Keebler Elves

Lollipop Kids

Southern Discomfort

Itchy and Scrappy

A few obvious ones:

Ryan Mike
Min Ryan
Pepper Spray and TheRiot
The Cayenne Peppers


Someone suggested the Scrap Pack in the chat the other day. That's my favorite so far.

I think of a pack of more than two...maybe Reed Johnson can get in on this.

Bayou Duo
The Geaux Geaux Kids

That was it! The one I couldn't remember...

Nice work.

I love that one! My favorite, as well.

Maybe we can get the entire list from the thread in a neat some don't get missed. Then the poll can be based upon nominations? It'd also be cool if we could vote in ranking system. Top five in order of favorite or something. I'll, of course, vote 5 times for the Battin' Deluge.

Yeah, the number of very good ideas is sort of astonishing, I'm wondering if there needs to be another step in the whittling down process...  Ultimately it'll be Executive Decision on how we go about translating this into a vote, but I'm open to suggestions...

Some variation of Silent Ts

T as in 'towel'?

"The Scrap Brothers"

They don't hit homers like the A's did, but they help their team in different, scrappy, ways.

this is bad, but...

Ryan and Stimpy

Riot to Not to Lee

Man I hate offdays...

Scrappy Deux

Plus, you can put that unforgettable rascal Scrappy Doo on the shirt, too (or is that teux?).

They could be the Scrappy Deux-ot.

Rich. Textured. Multi-layered.

I'll buy it.

Scrappy Deux-ot, ftw!

My new favorite, I think.


Double-Ot Agents

Scrap-yard Dogs

My brother Daryl and My Other Brother Daryl

Nice Newhart drop-in. Somebody's been leaving the TV on WGN after the game ends.

Derrek and the Domin-ots ...

The Two (or Twin) Towers of Scrap


the swamp rats
the creole combo
the mardi guys
zydeco row

the mardi guys made me laugh for some reason.

Coonass Combo

the mighty mudbugs

mike and ryan.




TheFonts. Way to kern that double play! Ay!

There's a new serif in town.

Nice!..and sans eh?

Etoufee Elves

Bayou Brothers

The Crawdaddy Twins

Prudhomme's Neglected

Gumbo Guppies

Wendy Rice-a-Roni Guys

Trolly Trouble Twins

And...Superdome Duo?

The Kajun Keystone Konnection

We can shorten it to 3 K's for T-shirt formatting purposes.
Maybe Carlos or Chad and get the T-shirt stand set up at Clark and Addison with that baby?

The Ot boys (silent "t")
The Pontchartrain Powerhouses
The Baton Rouge Bashers
The Cajun Conjurers

The (not so) Silent T's

White Riot.

Ha nice... *high five*

the lone rangers!

I refuse to endorse any nickname that would not be passable as a tag-team name were Theriot and Fontenot professional wrestlers.

Therefore, my humble suggestions...

The Vanilla Midgets
The Cajun Shrimp

or my favorite lunch at Heaven on Seven:

Cajun Chicken Sandwich with Muenster Cheese

+1 Cajun Shrimp

The Cajun Steamers

The Mardi Gras Middlemen

The Ry-not Two
Ry-not Classy (as in rhinoplasty)

Actually, I kind of like Ry-not, since it calls to mind another beloved Cubs middle infielder.

EDIT: "Kind of"? Screw that. I'm developing a man-crush on it.

Anybody know what's up with AZ Phil ? He hasn't started a thread for 11 days.

Not that anyone is counting, though, right?

I count the days between AZ Phil posts in daisy petals. He loves me. He loves me not. He loves me. *sigh*

Short and Stop

Nickname: Louisiana Boys

Beltin' Breauxmance

I'm not sure about "Beltin'" but "Breauxmance" is a high quality contribution.

OK maybe just "Breauxmance"?

Our T shirt could have their fuzzy little bobbleheads and a nice "BREAUXMANCE" splashed underneath

I'm sure there's a picture somewhere of them just smiling at each other, laughing, embracing, high-fiving, or patting each other on the butt. I still think that "Breauxmance" or "Breauxmantic" might be combined with something, but I'm not as thrilled with the "Beltin'" part.

the dinky deux

les rouges dangereux (or les dangereux de 'rouge)
The fonti-riot (silent t, hard t)
The Ot Face
Scrap Bastards

Favorites so far:
Breauxmance... or Breauxmiscuity?
Tiger Cubs

and a modification of a previous post:
Derrek and the Deux-Men-Ots.

"The Holy Creole"

The Windy City Six-Fo'
The Lil' Six-Fo'
Rollin in my Six-Fo'

you get the idea.

Eleven feet,seven inches and 345 pounds of SCRAP

I'm uneasy with all these projections showing the Cubs winning the division. Like it's a forbidden thought to think the Cubs are the favorite. I'm not superstitious, but I am a compulsive worrier, maybe that's it, but it's like the very act of thinking it will damn the Cubs to an injury-ridden season.

You don't have to worry. I'll tell you what'll happen...they'll blow it.

With all due respect... *middle finger*

Sorry. But I've already seen the film.

Jake Fox has 2 homeruns, a double, and five RBI in 3 at bats tonight. I'm all atwitter in anticipation of someday taking part in a collaborative naming of a Micah Hoffpauir / Jake Fox platoon.

Fox-Power!!! (Fist in air a la HeMan)


Don't hassle the Foff!


Milwaukee bullpen doing that walking thing again. I have to admit, it's much more amusing when it's another staff's bullpen. McClung on pace to pitch in 140 games this year.

E-Man approves of "He-Man"

My favorites off the top of my head are:

Short and Shorter
Scrappy Deux-ot
Short and Stop
the dinky deux

What about simply,

1. the Po-Boys
2. the Ot-Boy Po-Boys (silent 't' of course)
3. the Gator Bites
4. Red Beans and Rice (Fontenot has Strawberry hair, yes?)

Po-Boys! HA!

I still think the Cardinals will be there at the end of the year. La Russa can field a team of Iraqi burka-clad women and Pujols, and be in the thick of it. I believe he has had above .500 seasons 7 of the last 10 years, including a WS ring.

Their pitching staff is looking very good in the early going, to my extreme displeasure.

And Carpenter exits after 3 with an apparent abdominal injury.

I'm still not convinced Kyle Lohse is anything but a league average pitcher masquerading as an above-average pitcher. The Cards will be there, but they aren't a team to be feared the way they were a few years ago.

Agree. I'd be very afraid of both the quality and quantity of my rotation pitchers if I were a Cardinal fan. I'd also be VERY nervous about how TLR is handling the 9th inning right now. Not putting a lot of confidence in anybody.

I'd also be concerned that I was lying to myself about my sexuality if I were Cardinal fan. Thankfully that's not an issue.

Post-Dispatch says he "strained a muscle in his rib cage" while grounding out in the fourth inning. When he went out to warm up in the bottom of the inning, he felt the pain.


Over/Under on the year someone writes the tell-all book about the rampant abuse of PEDs in LaRussa's clubhouse?


Didn't Canseco already write that book?

Double-ot Heaven (on Seven) least it would come with an automatic sponsor.

My favorites so far:
Tabasco Kids
Oui Men
Scrappy Deux-ot
Hammerin' Hobbits
Scrap Bastards
Cajun Shrimp

If it were Double-Ot 7 it could include the third leg of the scrappy tripod - Aaron Miles (I can't believe they gave him DeRo's number!).

" ... Marquis has no idea what the reception will be like from the Cubs’ fans.

“Only they’ll know, so I try not to worry about that,” Marquis said. “It’s out of my hands. I know I gave every ounce of effort every time I took the ball every situation. If hard work and hundred percent effort every time out isn’t appreciated, then it’s out of my hands.” "

Here's a tip, Jason: If they boo you, it's not because they think you didn't try.

I'm glad he is gone, but I don't think he should be booed. He went 23-18 with a 4.57 ERA in 358.2 IP over two seasons in which the Cubs made the playoffs. He also pinch ran and hit pretty well - in just 131 AB he had 3 HR, 6 2B, 14 RBI, and 17 R.

Just to clarify, I don't think he should be booed either, but if he is, it's not because John Doe in section 126 is thinking, "This bum dogged it for us for two years."

WTH... We all knew (even Hendry) what Marquis was before he even stepped foot in the clubhouse: A slightly better than .500 pitcher who would stay healthy and is prone to bad games... and he pitched better than advertised. I'm not a huge fan, but the animosity towards Marquis is undue and undeserved.

Marquis gave effort I don't see any argument that he didn't, but he at times had an aversion to the strike zone at certain times and at other times couldn't get us through some games with big leads, but I guess Ted Lilly has had a few games like that too.

Marquis 2008 was actually alot better than 2007 if my memory serves me right. I'm just glad to be on the other end of him instead of having to watch him in blue.

Of course he will probably give one of his 'great' games and we'll all be cursing him...again.

Also I hate to be happy about injuries but I'm not crying over Carpenter going on the DL.

During the 2 years Marquis pitched in Chicago, the Cubs were 36-25 in games that he started; just about .600 baseball.

He isn't Cy Young, but that stat alone should show the value of what Marquis is: An innings eater who takes the ball every 5th day, and most of those days keeps you in the game.

Marquis was an OK starter, and terrific as a #5 pitcher, which is what we had him for

Anyone who dogs Marquis doesn't understand baseball, or expects the Cubs to have aces up and down the rotation.

BTW, Cubs record with Carlos Zambrano on the mound, same time period: 38-26, almost identical

I think the problem is that when Hendry signed Marquis before 2007, we were paying him #2 or #3 starter's money. We have improved our staff since then (Dempster back to starting, Harden, etc.) and he became the 5th best pitcher making a lot more $$ than a 5th starter should, which isn't his fault, so he gets a bad rap for that. He was in the right place at the right time with the Cardinals when they won the World Series, and he cashed in.

Unfortunately for Marquis, I think he and his big contract were also a roadblock during the failed attempt to get Jake Peavy, which left a bad taste in the mouth of a lot of Cubs fans. I know I was hoping to upgrade from Marquis to Peavy for just a little more money in 2009 (even though we would have taken on another backloaded contract)...

For these reasons, I think he will get booed more than he should. Based on performance, he was a very serviceable pitcher, but sometimes that doesn't matter.

So far Marquis has out-pitched Peavy. Hopefully we won't be able to say that after today's game.

Cubs Combeaux

Dynamic Deuxo

En Français: Le double du jour ;-)

I LOVE Ot Face, or it could be Ot-Ot-Ot Face, in reference to Office Space, with a picture of the guy from the movie saying it on the shirt. Of course, we would have to include some reference to or a picture of our guys, or people wouldn't know what the fontenot we were talking about...

For a slogan, how about "We lost our Wood, but we still got our 'Ot Face" with a picture of both guys on the shirt? Most people buying this would know the reference to Office Space anyways...

Another slogan, this time with Reed Johnson included:

"We lost our Wood, but we still got a huge Johnson!"

The Ot Bros
The Brothers Scrap
Punch (Fontenot) and Judy (Theriot)
Take (Theriot) and Rake (Fontenot)

Clearly, The Brothers Scrap took lessons from this guy, baseball skills training legend Ron Stilanovich:

You have to work to be scrappy

"All-Stars Aramis Ramirez and Geovany Soto are both expected to be back in the lineup as the Cubs seek their fourth straight victory in a matchup with a Rockies team trying to avoid its fourth consecutive loss."

Looks more like one out of three. Soto back, Aram and Bradley not...

Correct, ARam is not starting:

LF Soriano
SS Theriot
RF Fukudome
1B Lee
3B Fontenot
CF Johnson
C Soto
2B Miles
P Harden

Lou hates Hoffpower.

Great spring, kid, go cool your jets on the bench for a fortnight.

It's actually 50% enjoyable listening to the White Sox broadcast now with Stoney in the booth.

With as many choices as the consumer is getting these days, I'm looking forward to the day when I get to choose which announcers mikes are "hot". I think listening to Sunday Night Baseball on ESPN hearing just Jon Miller wouldn't be too bad. Watching the Sox and just hearing Stoney's color.

For now, I watch 95% of sports on TV with the sound down.

How many guys tell you something you don't already know? Stone, yes. McCarver (for me only, maybe), yes.

Stoney was just talking about Granderson and how a few years ago he was a strike out machine. McClendon coached him to not hold his bat so upright, because he had a big "looping swing".

Gee, who do we know that strikes out a lot and has a big looping swing. Someone the Cubs didn't know how to coach...

Dave Kingman?

Great idea. I could really do without all the "circles the wagon" and "ducks on a pond" business.

Peppy LeTwo?

This one needs to be included, Trans.

I can only imagine the possibilities if we still had Juan Pierre. The Menage a Hustle?

The Duex from the Bayou

So obvious: Theriot + Fontenot + DP ball= (dramatic pause)

The Oh-No Duo!

(dons flameproof suit)

Shake and Bake.

Sells itself. Catchy, not overtly referencing the cajun thing, although fried chicken maybe.

And a clear reference to one of the best movies ever made....

At least by Will Ferrell.

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  • Rob Richardson 24 min 30 sec ago view
  • Can't teach height and thinness

    jacos 2 hours 19 min ago view
  • Hopefully Pirates don't call up A. Lincoln.

    jacos 11 hours 50 min ago view
  • j.buchanan going friday...should something like it.

    crunch 11 hours 57 min ago view
  • Wow. I didn't know they could do that.

    Nice for Willson, not so much for Addy.

    billybucks 12 hours 13 min ago view
  • Game is officially called...also officially a tie.

    Stats count, no make-up date of course.


    Rob G. 12 hours 15 min ago view
  • Yeah -- seeing the weather -- I hope KB and Rizz are inside, wrapped in blankets and drinking hot chocolate.

    billybucks 13 hours 2 min ago view
  • rain delay...thanks obama.

    crunch 13 hours 40 min ago view
  • Thanks again Phil. We actually were in Mesa and drove around. Hopefully, I am back for some Fall League. If not I have all of spring training (like the smart people who move here!)

    rvimpeny 14 hours 44 min ago view
  • What Rob G said.  I can't speak for Piittsburgh, but the other end of the state has had absolute crap weather for two days. Perfect day to take it easy.

    Transmission 14 hours 47 min ago view
  • tarp came off 10 minutes ago...let's do this.

    crunch 15 hours 1 min ago view
  • He will not pitch another game for Cubs

    /Unless injury in playoffs

    jacos 15 hours 18 min ago view
  • ~fart~

    jacos 15 hours 19 min ago view
  • Today is bullpen day

    jacos 15 hours 19 min ago view
  • 10/450 if they win WS

    jacos 15 hours 20 min ago view
  • Carrie Muskat [email protected]
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    Carrie Muskat [email protected]
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    Carrie Muskat [email protected]
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    crunch 15 hours 37 min ago view