We Have a Winner

In a close vote to decide the Official1 TCR Nickname for our Middle Infielders, we can now announce that with 100% of the 66 votes counted, the winner is....

The Scrap Pack. 

The Scrap Pack beat The Tiger Cubs2 for the honor, and congratulations to all the other worthy suggestions as well.

Among the many virtues of The Scrap Pack are:

  • It rhymes
    • ok, fine, it doesn't.  Me flunk 2nd grad Inglish.
      • Ok, it has "internal rhyme."  I never got that far in English.
  • It's short
  • It has assonance
  • It has a sharp, staccato sort of meter to it
  • It alludes to a bunch of iconic womanizing singing drunkards with ties to the Las Vegas Mafia from the 1960s, who later went on to star in all-time classic movies like The Cannonball Run II.  
  • It is expandable: if necessary it could incorporate Reed Johnson, Aaron Miles and others.
  • Its origin is shrouded in TCR mystery and lore.  CT_Steve mentioned that he recalled seering someone use the nickname in Parachat, but we don't know who.

And most importantly....

  • If they wind up stinking up the field, we can always claim that the "S" is silent.

1 "Official" in the sense that part of my contract to begin writing for Ruz, years ago, included several legal prerogatives, including but not limited to the right to print Letters of Marque and to be keeper of The Official Seal of TCR.  I'm inferring from those prerogatives that I also have the right to declare things "official."

2 Yes, I just made an animal abuse pun.  I'm sorry.

 

Tags: 
TCR Contests
Submitted by Transmission on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 10:29am
Return to Homepage

Comments

Submitted by navigator
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 10:31am

Scrap Pack

For all its many virtues, I don't think it rhymes.

Submitted by Transmission
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 10:42am

Heh.  I presently am designing final exams for college kids, and I don't remember what it means to rhyme.  What do the kids say these days?  Oh yeah, FAIL.

 Thanks for the catch there, I've updated the post.

Submitted by The Real Neal
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 10:57am

I am still trying to figure out how Love & Rockets rhymed 'you' with 'you-ooh-ooh'.

Each person seems to have a different threshold for what 'rhymes' . The average rapper, for instance, wouldn't have any problem with rhyming those two words.

Submitted by Transmission
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 11:00am

Yeah, I'm calling it a "rhyme," again. When me, Real Neal and "the average rapper" all agree, you know it must be correct.

 

And that's four consecutive comments by me relating to what counts as a rhyme.  I'll stop, now.  But god, I'd love to see a flame-war break out over poetry....  Come on, guys...

Submitted by Charlie
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 11:49am

Trans, you ignorant slut, stand by your call! If it sounds like a rhyme to you, it's a rhyme! At the very least that is a slant rhyme; both words have the same short "A" sound on a stressed syllable and end with hard, aspirated consonants. Grow some balls.

And, fuck man, how did you miss the opportunity to note the consonance in "sCrap paCK"? Combine the consonance with the repeated short "A" sound and the fact that "Scrap Pack" contains only two syllables, both with heavy stresses—a spondee (sorry, didn't mean to patronize you all)—and you've got a very punchy nickname. Too bad you don't have any punch, Trans, or none of this would be necessary—you would've just verbally bitch slapped Navigator.

Submitted by The Real Neal
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 11:57am

Oh, I wouldn't say it rhymes.

I was playing a drinking game Saturday, where you had to 'bust a rhyme' - rhyme a word with one that someone else had said or drink. I was bothered when someone rhymed 'time' with 'line'.

I am probably wrong, but it feels to me like just another symptom of the dumbing down of America and the English language.

Submitted by Charlie
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 12:11pm

It depends on your purposes, I think. For the purposes of modern English language poetry, full rhyme has limited use, since English is a rhyme poor language and the tradition of rhyming is really borrowed from Italian and other, older poetic traditions that, while they have their own merits, have a different word bank and syntactic system to work with than do English poets. For the purposes of a drinking game, I wouldn't consider participants' definition of rhyme the primary symptom of the dumbing down of America.

Submitted by Transmission
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 12:37pm

Charlies post # 14 is my candidate for Post Of The Year.

Submitted by O.Julius
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 12:42pm

I can't decide which is more embarrassing: that you were playing a drinking game in which you had to rhyme words, or that you were playing a drinking game.

Submitted by The Real Neal
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 1:23pm

Yeah it was an afternoon of 'man, being a frat daddy was cool, let's try that again'.

However, drinking games can be fun. Canned drinking games make me feel like I am borrowing someone else's life.

Submitted by Mister Whipple
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 10:37am

Ha ha. It has assonance.

Submitted by Transmission
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 10:42am

A rather pronouced, impressive assonance....

Submitted by navigator
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 11:46am

Another way of saying it has assonance is "it gets the rhyme wrong."

Or, rap is crap rhyming. And hip-hop is not tip-top two-timing.

Submitted by Mister Whipple
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 4:33pm

It's got junk in the trunk?

Submitted by Hrothgar
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 10:43am

In a prosodic, poetic, and very real, sense it does rhyme - internally rather than at the end is all.

Submitted by Transmission
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 10:47am

Ok, that's it, we're saying it rhymes.  Phew, I'm out of my league here.

Submitted by mattofamerica
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 10:59am

I like it. But then, what is the penalty if someone were to use, say, The Oui Men instead of The Scrap Pack?

Submitted by Transmission
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 11:01am

The original post said the penalty was "pain of death" or season-tickets to the Pirates.

Submitted by The Real Neal
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 11:08am

I think I'll go with Pepper Spray and Theriot. Pseudo-rhyming is cool and all that, but anytime you can work four puns into one nickname, that gets my vote. Do I have to pay for the season tickets?

Submitted by John Beasley
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 11:44am

Y'all'll be sorry when I'm a thousandaire from selling t-shirts of Font and Riot-lookalike tiger cubs saying "grr" in a text bubble to drunk white girls in Lakeview. The way I figure, I'll make enough money to either go to a game at Wrigley or buy a house near the Cell.

Congrats to Scrap Packers.

Submitted by Chad
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 12:23pm

i'm calling the nickname and the players "The Crap Pack"

yeah, i went there.

Submitted by mannytrillo
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 1:04pm

Chad, don't badmouth those young Cubbies. You must be one of those Cubs fan who don't actually like anything about the team....DAMN YOU!!!!

Submitted by Chad
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 1:17pm

Manny, you know I'm the TCR rebel blacksheep and you know I calls them likes i sees them.

I refuse to drink the RobG. kook aid!

Submitted by Rob G.
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 1:23pm

There's RobG kool aid? What does it taste like?

(this should be entertaining)

Submitted by Chad
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 1:28pm

i don't know as i already stated that i refuse to drink it.

But since you went to maine east and then marquette, i would assume it takes like MGD mixed with Drakkar Noir. With a slight hint of sausage.

Submitted by Mister Whipple
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 4:30pm

"it takes like MGD mixed with Drakkar Noir. With a slight hint of sausage."

Nicely done.

Submitted by Michaelweaselo
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 12:42pm

This is exactly why Democracy is a failure. Never let people vote for things. Scrap Pack is pretty stupid. Its not really even funny. It doesnt even pass the "hey, thats not a dumb cliche" test. I think that the writers here could have come up with something better and come to a consensus over a couple of beers and a Vienna Beef dog at Murphy's.

Sigh.

At least there is parachat.

Submitted by Rob G.
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 12:45pm

communist.

Submitted by The Real Neal
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 1:26pm

Communists get to vote.

Submitted by Ryno
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 1:00pm

Ha! Yeah, that's stupid. At least there's parachat. "In my pants" humor anyone?

Submitted by Ryno
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 1:06pm

I propose the Cubs trade Jake Fox for this guy.

Submitted by Wes
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 1:17pm

It was me who came up with that, for the record. Any criticism of my hilarious creation will refuted with insults of your sexual preference. Proceed with caution.

Submitted by Chad
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 1:26pm

Yeah, well I don't like it at all.

What are you going to do about it? hmmm....call me gay?

Submitted by Wes
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 1:29pm

Yes. You're gay.

Submitted by The Real Neal
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 1:27pm

The other problem with it, is that it will be too easy for other teams' fans to make fun of the T-Shirt. "what is that, 'crap pack'? Is that like a colostomy bag?".

Submitted by Chad
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 1:29pm

term has already been coined by me.

Submitted by Rob G.
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 1:32pm

nice try, Trans already noted it in the post...

Submitted by Chad
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 1:40pm

don't see it.

mine

Submitted by The Real Neal
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 1:43pm

Focus on the most important part. It may come to you.

Submitted by Rob G.
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 1:52pm

work your way from the bottom up, look for the bullet point.

Submitted by Chad
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 2:06pm

don't see it don't care

mine

Submitted by The Real Neal
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 2:13pm

You can have colostomy bag.

Submitted by Rob G.
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 3:09pm

Levine says that Lee's neck and back issues a bigger culprit in his decline, along with his refusal to sit.

Although most people point to the broken wrist Lee suffered in 2006 as the reason he doesn't hit with as much power, the real reasons are his back and neck woes from a home-plate collision after the wrist injury.

http://espn.go.com/chicago/columns/blog?post=41054...

Submitted by The Real Neal
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 3:14pm

Interesting in that pitch selection has nothing to do with Lee's problems with grounding to short.

Also, Levine is happy to take another needless shot at Bradley. So far, Bradley is winning the 'media is out to get me' debate.

Submitted by Wes
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 3:48pm

Well partially it does, but those pitches that he now hits weakly to second for double plays used to be doubles in the right-center power alley. He can't quite extend with power to the outer part of the plate like he used to.

I see your argument, though. If you can't do hit that pitch anymore, quit fucking swinging at it.

Submitted by The Real Neal
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 3:59pm

Yes, or move closer to the plate, or go back to your old hitting stance if this one, which seems to contort the back more is giving you problems.

Submitted by The E-Man
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 6:23pm

Personally, AZ PHIL has mentioned that HOFF is "Gold Glove Caliber" at 1st B, and hits for power - something DLEE is just not doing well right now.

It would not be so bad if The Hoff gets a few more starts at 1B.

Submitted by The Real Neal
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 6:30pm

I would be all for a straight platoon. Some time during the offseason I predicted that they'd be platooning by the end of the year.

Submitted by The E-Man
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 7:21pm

I just don't feel, that in his 60's, Lou will put a career minor leaguer (even though performing well) in a platoon situation with a former MVP and All Star.

Submitted by crunch
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 7:25pm

hoff's lack of K'ing is getting increasingly interesting as far as what kind of player he can be.

sure, he's not exactly picking his pitches even though he's got some walks...he's hacking...he's just not missing as much.

that said...yeah, it's probably dlee's job to lose and it's probably not going to happen in early May unless he goes on a hell of a down-turn.

Submitted by Chad
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 7:30pm

former MVP?

Submitted by Rob Richardson
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 4:03pm

"Unfortunately for Lee there's no remedy for a bulging disc and upper-neck and back pain. The only thing Lee can do is ask out of the lineup and wait for it to subside, which he refuses to do. [ ] That type of philosophy has hurt Lee as he's not the offensive player he was prior to the injury."

[ ]

"And although I don't know the extent of the injury to Bradley (strained right groin), he should probably pay attention to Lee's work ethic."

I am confused. Is he saying Bradley should play even through his doing so would make him a poorer player, or does he think that Bradley should stay on the bench until he is fully healed?

Submitted by Rob G.
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 4:08pm

I think he was saying, I wanted to take a shot at Bradley in some way.

Submitted by Charlie
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 4:15pm

He's saying that he likes cake and he likes to eat it, too.

Submitted by The Real Neal
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 4:43pm

In the meantime, Ramirez and Soto, get free passes.

Submitted by Rob G.
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 5:00pm

will start tomorrow for Padres...

Submitted by The Joe
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 5:08pm

Fail.

Submitted by Romero
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 5:28pm

When do we learn the DFA/Vizcaino aftermath? Will we get anything back for this move? (besides an empty roster spot?)

Submitted by Rob G.
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 5:46pm

10 days from last Thursday, so I think by this coming Saturday they have to make a decision.

Submitted by Romero
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 6:56pm

Thanks, Rob. Have any guesses about what comes back? (just for fun)

Submitted by Rob G.
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 7:05pm

an empty roster spot....

Submitted by crunch
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 6:12pm

...stupid 10pm EST games....well, 9:40, but whatever...

Submitted by Thisistheyear
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 6:28pm

Has Wittenmyer "tweeted" the line-up for the game tonight?

Submitted by Rob G.
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 7:07pm

cst_cubs: Lineup: sori, riot, fuky, rejo, hoff, soto, font, miles, lilly.

2-man bench tonight, Z is on Lou's card as an extra hitter.

Submitted by crunch
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 7:19pm

reed johnson hitting 4th and soriano leads off...okay. okay...

Submitted by Romero
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 7:28pm

Awesome. I feel like Rejo's going DEEP tonight, fellas. DEEP!

Submitted by mannytrillo
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 7:43pm

Reed Johnson batting 4th? Oh brother...

Submitted by Chad
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 10:31pm

no no no no no

YOU of all people don't get to complain about batting order. you are the one who loves to site James' and his dis-belief that liineup order matters.

Submitted by mannytrillo
on Tue, 04/28/2009 - 8:38am

HA HA

I think even Bill James would laugh at that lineup last night. If the Cubs can't field anyone better than Reed Johnson in the #4 hole, they are in deep trouble.

Submitted by Rob G.
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 7:07pm

Marmol available Tuesday according to Wittenmyer...

Submitted by The E-Man
on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 7:23pm

Geez - why not Soto 8th? Or, a start for Hill. He is in an outrageous slump.

Submitted by Stevens
on Tue, 04/28/2009 - 5:21pm

"Scrap Pack" is the Jose Vizcaino of nicknames. Serviceable but bland.

"Scrappy Deux" (without the extra "-ot" mind you) is easily superior, working on more levels with surprising effect--the Doug Dascenzo of nicknames.

Wither "Tiger Cubs," the clear champion of the three, full of promise but potentially diminishing with increased exposure, no doubt the Gary Scott of nicknames.

Submitted by Chad
on Tue, 04/28/2009 - 6:25pm

this is by far the Kevin Orie of posts.

X
You may login with either your assigned username or your e-mail address.
The password field is case sensitive.
Loading