How Fast is Reed Johnson?
When you're a young guy, hair that grows in places other than your head is pretty important.
I was a freshman in football this one time when a guy named Paul Holland completely ran me over in a tackling drill.
One of the coaches screams at me, "SOUERS, YOU AIN'T GOT NO HAIR ON YOUR ASS!"
I could tell right away that hair meant huevos, balls, intestinal fortitude.
In college I decided to grow sideburns.
Why not?
Grew 'em for about 3 weeks.
Wellll, on one side I had to painstakingly and artfully blend hair from my head to mix with all of maybe 14 actual sideburn hairs.
And all that blending was for naught because only 5 actual sideburn hairs grew on the other side.
Bald patch between the head hair and the 5 sideburn hairs - not good.
I cannot grow a mustache or a beard, I have no hair on my chest, and my leg hair kinda petered out in 6th grade.
Reed Johnson seems to be able to grow beards at will and overnight.
I am SO jealous.
But you never know - I may still be maturing.
Well, that hopefully took your mind off of Geovany Soto's "mild" oblique strain and the sloppy, rotten, foul-tasting 1-4 loss to the Braves yesterday.
Kevin Hart came up to take Dempster's place in the rotation.
He did okay, really.
Buncha walks, but okay.
It's these damned wimpy Cub bats.
They have no hair.
And here come the Cardinals...
A little perspective - the Phillies lead the NL with 432 runs scored, St. Louis is 6th with 377, and our favorite team is 15th with 337.
I'm sure you're aware that that's 15th out of 16.
So...not so good.
I'd put a little hair tonic on those bats, boys.
Do that thing where everybody on the team grows a beard or something.
You are going to need to score some runs in these next 4 games.
And if you do, you will have a chance to knock these guys down a peg.
And even though I don't, as a Cub fan I would at least feel like I had some hair on my ass.
Tim Souers is the illustrator and author of Cubby Blue and appreciates the opportunity to guest blog here at The Cub Reporter.
http://www.cubby-blue.com
This illustration is in the current issue of VINE LINE.













#1 Re: How Fast is Reed Johnson?
Fox on radio in Chicago
-Catching "like riding a bike" he'll be ready
-Likes to play positions "where action is" felt like "being out on an island" in outfield.
__________________________I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me- hst
#2 5-7 teams in on Freddy Sanchez
http://community.post-gazette.com/blogs/pbc/archiv...
Giants and Rockies are mentioned...
#5 Re: 5-7 teams in on Freddy Sanchez
Would Fonty and an arm get it done?
__________________________I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me- hst
#8 Re: 5-7 teams in on Freddy Sanchez
does this change your mind?
If Sanchez reaches 600 plate appearances, an $8 million option for 2010 will trigger.
he's on pace for 620 AB's, so PA's shouldn't be an issue barring another injury. He's been out for about a week now with a back injury.
#10 Re: 5-7 teams in on Freddy Sanchez
Fonte doesn't get you much.
Freddie Sanchez... wouldn't that be great?
__________________________"You simply can't be a smug prick with 40 RBI in September." MikeC
#3 Got a question for Hendry or Theriot?
http://twitter.com/thekapman
submit one to Kaplan via Twitter, 2 best get a Lou Malnatti gift card
he claimed sometime yesterday that he is hearing the deal with the Ricketts will be announced sometime next week.
#6 Re: Got a question for Hendry or Theriot?
just asked:
"Why do you waste a bench player by sending up Reed for a PH sac bunt? With a short bench, couldn't a pitch have done that?"
I'm sure he'll ask that one.
__________________________"It's 30 Rock!!!!"
#7 Re: Got a question for Hendry or Theriot?
#9 Re: Got a question for Hendry or Theriot?
misread it.
thought it was Lou and Riot.
oh well.
__________________________"It's 30 Rock!!!!"
#4 Re: How Fast is Reed Johnson?
Awww. Alfonso is upset about not being in the line up yesterday. Try hitting over .200 for a month and maybe they'll pencil you more often, buddy.
http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/cubs...
#11 Fukkadome love...
after a brutal June (.507 OPS)...1.189 so far in July.
1.052 (April), .830 (May), .507 (June), 1.189 in July
already has as many XBH's in July as he did in May, and one more than he did in June.
#26 Re: Fukkadome love...
Fukudome looks good again, and comfortable hitting with two strikes.
__________________________You can depend on cruelty - Crudity of thought and sound - You can depend on the worst always happening - You need a busload of faith to get by
#12 Stuff...
http://blogs.dailyherald.com/node/2267
no roster move for Soto likely, Hart will be optioned today so he can come back July 19th or 20th to start against Nats or Phils, Miles thinks Jeff Stevens may get the call-up (seems like Ascanio would make more sense, but might not be 10 days yet). Waddell will be reinstated from DL and immediately optioned to Iowa as well.
#13 OF trade candidates...
http://www.mlbtraderumors.com/2009/07/trade-candid...
decent run-down, can't see any fit for the Cubs though...
#14 Re: OF trade candidates...
my bad, CuBzwin has it figured out...
#15 Re: OF trade candidates...
I'm sick of hearing about Soriano going to second.
Soriano at second makes Soriano in left look like Willie Mays in his prime.
__________________________I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me- hst
#16 Re: How Fast is Reed Johnson?
@cst_cubs (Whittenmeyer) also saying Stevens will take Hart's spot on the roster tomorrow.
__________________________"You simply can't be a smug prick with 40 RBI in September." MikeC
#17 Muskat writes a good article...
http://muskat.mlblogs.com/archives/2009/07/78_hit_...
granted, Von Joshua basically wrote the article with his quotes, but real good detail on what problems he's seeing.
#18 Brutal quiz on the rules...
http://www.rulesofbaseball.com/quiz1.html
got 4 right, although some are worded very poorly imo...
#22 Re: Brutal quiz on the rules...
6, but it gave me a headache.
__________________________Voting for non-Americans since 2008.
#23 Re: Brutal quiz on the rules...
I got four, also, but I pretty much had to guess on all of them except the question about the first baseman who trapped the ball. That was the only one I knew for sure.
__________________________"You simply can't be a smug prick with 40 RBI in September." MikeC
#24 Re: Brutal quiz on the rules...
Really interesting quiz.
I got 4, but I agree that some were poorly worded. Several times I guessed the "could also be correct" answer. There were a couple that I answered that would have been right based on the High School rule book but that are apparently different from the professional rules.
__________________________Not affiliated with some guy named Al or any website with a similar name
#25 Re: Brutal quiz on the rules...
I got 5 right, but some were very confusing to figure out what the hell they were describing. I used to love the Rules question in Baseball Digest, because it was so off the wall...
__________________________Well, you sure killed the hell outta that fella today.
#27 Re: Brutal quiz on the rules...
I would go farther than say 'poorly worded' and just call them incorrect. The two bunt ones (4 and 8?). Odds are that the runner on 2nd will have reached third by the time the ball is declared dead. On 8 unless the R3 crosses home before contact is made, he would have to re-touch third and then go back to home before they threw to 1st for the DP on R1.
__________________________You can depend on cruelty - Crudity of thought and sound - You can depend on the worst always happening - You need a busload of faith to get by
#19 More umpire shenanigans..
http://www.nypost.com/seven/07092009/sports/yankee...
#20 Cards go up 2-1
in top of the 8th...
1st/3rd 0 outs and Pujols due up...
he doubles to score in the go-ahead run
#21 Re: Cards go up 2-1
Ludwick follows up w/ a 3-run HR
5-1, think the gadget was just predicting the future.