How Fast is Reed Johnson?
When you're a young guy, hair that grows in places other than your head is pretty important.
I was a freshman in football this one time when a guy named Paul Holland completely ran me over in a tackling drill.
One of the coaches screams at me, "SOUERS, YOU AIN'T GOT NO HAIR ON YOUR ASS!"
I could tell right away that hair meant huevos, balls, intestinal fortitude.
In college I decided to grow sideburns.
Grew 'em for about 3 weeks.
Wellll, on one side I had to painstakingly and artfully blend hair from my head to mix with all of maybe 14 actual sideburn hairs.
And all that blending was for naught because only 5 actual sideburn hairs grew on the other side.
Bald patch between the head hair and the 5 sideburn hairs - not good.
I cannot grow a mustache or a beard, I have no hair on my chest, and my leg hair kinda petered out in 6th grade.
Reed Johnson seems to be able to grow beards at will and overnight.
I am SO jealous.
But you never know - I may still be maturing.
Well, that hopefully took your mind off of Geovany Soto's "mild" oblique strain and the sloppy, rotten, foul-tasting 1-4 loss to the Braves yesterday.
Kevin Hart came up to take Dempster's place in the rotation.
He did okay, really.
Buncha walks, but okay.
It's these damned wimpy Cub bats.
They have no hair.
And here come the Cardinals...
A little perspective - the Phillies lead the NL with 432 runs scored, St. Louis is 6th with 377, and our favorite team is 15th with 337.
I'm sure you're aware that that's 15th out of 16.
So...not so good.
I'd put a little hair tonic on those bats, boys.
Do that thing where everybody on the team grows a beard or something.
You are going to need to score some runs in these next 4 games.
And if you do, you will have a chance to knock these guys down a peg.
And even though I don't, as a Cub fan I would at least feel like I had some hair on my ass.
Tim Souers is the illustrator and author of Cubby Blue and appreciates the opportunity to guest blog here at The Cub Reporter.
This illustration is in the current issue of VINE LINE.
J-Hey not finishing with an offensive onslaught.
If Geoff Blum could be a Playoff hero, there is hope still...
Giants scare me. I think you're wrong about Bumgarner, he would pitch on short rest for Game 2 and then full rest for Game 5. Cueto would go Game 1, then short rest in game 4. Add in some really tough outs in that lineup and I want nothing to do with them. With that rotation they can easily steal a series.
Cards are a tough matchup. The rivalry evens out their comparable lack of talent. And like someone said, they love HRs, which is how to beat the Cubs. The upside is that I would feel really good about Lester twice against STL.
j.buchanan with a nice start...5ip 2h 1bb 3k, 0r/er
zobrist with 2HR and a double through 8
heyward 0-4 :(
Mark Gonzales @MDGonzales
Soler likely to return Sunday, Maddon says
Right now, I'd like to see the Mets first, Giants 2nd.
I believe that since most of the team from last years' NLCS is on the squad this year, they will really amp their game up even more to kick their ass in payback for 2015.
The Giants just do not have the depth in years past, and I think all things equal - and at Wrigley - they could handle them.
I do not want to see the Cards, period. Or their fans, media, or Joe Buck.
I don't want to play Braves in the first round. Any friggin team in the league can win 3 of 5..I hate the first round. Furthermore, I wanted to play the Marlins in 2003 and the Mets over Dodgers last year.
With that said in reverse order:
3. Cardinals: It will be devastating to lose in the first round, but even worse to their main rival. It is increased incentive for the Cardinals, especially after last year. Cards would have nothing to lose, Cubs have everything to lose.
2. Giants: Rotation in the playoffs scare me a bit, but what a lousy team.
1. Mets--because of the losses in the rotation
2. Giants--because they're not the team they were BUT they maybe have bullshit even-year magic?
3. Cardinals--because rivalry and not making the playoffs hurts them more than losing in the NLDS plus getting eliminated by them in the playoffs would make for horrible sports commentary next throughout next season.
CLE/DET rained out last night already, possible rain-outs in New York (vs. Baltimore), Boston(vs. Toronto) and Philly(vs. Mets) this weekend too.
Not only games involving playoff spots that would need to be played, but any that involve home field advantage.
I got the first one! Second one I'm not even sure what even/odd betting is.
any opponent preference for NLDS?
Mets are down to 1 great pitcher instead of 4. Syndegaard may pitch Sunday which means if Mets win the WC game, he'd be set up for Game 1. There's a chance they clinch a spot by Sunday so he'd pitch the WC and then we'd probably get Colon for Game 1. They've certainly had the hottest bats over the last week and month out of the WC options.
A couple of Cub related puzzles.
Can't teach height and thinness
Hopefully Pirates don't call up A. Lincoln.
j.buchanan going friday...should be...baseball...or something like it.
Wow. I didn't know they could do that.
Nice for Willson, not so much for Addy.