How Fast is Reed Johnson?

 

When you're a young guy, hair that grows in places other than your head is pretty important.

I was a freshman in football this one time when a guy named Paul Holland completely ran me over in a tackling drill.

One of the coaches screams at me, "SOUERS, YOU AIN'T GOT NO HAIR ON YOUR ASS!"

I could tell right away that hair meant huevos, balls, intestinal fortitude.

In college I decided to grow sideburns.

Why not?

Grew 'em for about 3 weeks.

Wellll, on one side I had to painstakingly and artfully blend hair from my head to mix with all of maybe 14 actual sideburn hairs.

And all that blending was for naught because only 5 actual sideburn hairs grew on the other side.

Bald patch between the head hair and the 5 sideburn hairs - not good.

I cannot grow a mustache or a beard, I have no hair on my chest, and my leg hair kinda petered out in 6th grade.

Reed Johnson seems to be able to grow beards at will and overnight.
I am SO jealous.

But you never know - I may still be maturing.

Well, that hopefully took your mind off of Geovany Soto's "mild" oblique strain and the sloppy, rotten, foul-tasting 1-4 loss to the Braves yesterday.

Kevin Hart came up to take Dempster's place in the rotation.

He did okay, really.

Buncha walks, but okay.

It's these damned wimpy Cub bats.

They have no hair.

And here come the Cardinals...

A little perspective - the Phillies lead the NL with 432 runs scored, St. Louis is 6th with 377, and our favorite team is 15th with 337.

I'm sure you're aware that that's 15th out of 16.

So...not so good.

I'd put a little hair tonic on those bats, boys.

Do that thing where everybody on the team grows a beard or something.

You are going to need to score some runs in these next 4 games.

And if you do, you will have a chance to knock these guys down a peg.

And even though I don't, as a Cub fan I would at least feel like I had some hair on my ass.

 Tim Souers is the illustrator and author of Cubby Blue and appreciates the opportunity to guest blog here at The Cub Reporter.
http://www.cubby-blue.com

This illustration is in the current issue of VINE LINE.

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Cubby Blue
Submitted by CubbyBlue on Thu, 07/09/2009 - 11:56am
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Comments

Submitted by jacos
on Thu, 07/09/2009 - 12:23pm

Fox on radio in Chicago
-Catching "like riding a bike" he'll be ready

-Likes to play positions "where action is" felt like "being out on an island" in outfield.

Submitted by Rob G.
on Thu, 07/09/2009 - 12:59pm

http://community.post-gazette.com/blogs/pbc/archiv...

Giants and Rockies are mentioned...

Submitted by jacos
on Thu, 07/09/2009 - 1:12pm

Would Fonty and an arm get it done?

Submitted by Rob G.
on Thu, 07/09/2009 - 1:28pm

does this change your mind?

If Sanchez reaches 600 plate appearances, an $8 million option for 2010 will trigger.

he's on pace for 620 AB's, so PA's shouldn't be an issue barring another injury. He's been out for about a week now with a back injury.

Submitted by Ryno
on Thu, 07/09/2009 - 1:36pm

Fonte doesn't get you much.

Freddie Sanchez... wouldn't that be great?

Submitted by Rob G.
on Thu, 07/09/2009 - 1:01pm

http://twitter.com/thekapman

submit one to Kaplan via Twitter, 2 best get a Lou Malnatti gift card

he claimed sometime yesterday that he is hearing the deal with the Ricketts will be announced sometime next week.

Submitted by Chad
on Thu, 07/09/2009 - 1:13pm

just asked:

"Why do you waste a bench player by sending up Reed for a PH sac bunt? With a short bench, couldn't a pitch have done that?"

I'm sure he'll ask that one.

Submitted by Rob G.
on Thu, 07/09/2009 - 1:25pm

why would you ask Hendry or Riot that question?

Submitted by Chad
on Thu, 07/09/2009 - 1:33pm

misread it.

thought it was Lou and Riot.

oh well.

Submitted by Chris
on Thu, 07/09/2009 - 1:12pm

Awww. Alfonso is upset about not being in the line up yesterday. Try hitting over .200 for a month and maybe they'll pencil you more often, buddy.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/cubs...

Submitted by Rob G.
on Thu, 07/09/2009 - 1:49pm

after a brutal June (.507 OPS)...1.189 so far in July.

1.052 (April), .830 (May), .507 (June), 1.189 in July

already has as many XBH's in July as he did in May, and one more than he did in June.

Submitted by The Real Neal
on Sat, 07/11/2009 - 12:19pm

Fukudome looks good again, and comfortable hitting with two strikes.

Submitted by Rob G.
on Thu, 07/09/2009 - 1:58pm

http://blogs.dailyherald.com/node/2267

no roster move for Soto likely, Hart will be optioned today so he can come back July 19th or 20th to start against Nats or Phils, Miles thinks Jeff Stevens may get the call-up (seems like Ascanio would make more sense, but might not be 10 days yet). Waddell will be reinstated from DL and immediately optioned to Iowa as well.

Submitted by Rob G.
on Thu, 07/09/2009 - 2:02pm

http://www.mlbtraderumors.com/2009/07/trade-candid...

decent run-down, can't see any fit for the Cubs though...

Submitted by Rob G.
on Thu, 07/09/2009 - 2:03pm

my bad, CuBzwin has it figured out...

The Cubs could deal for any left-fielder and move soriano to second. So don't write them off for getting an OF.


Posted by:
CuBzwin |
July 09, 2009 at 01:30 PM

 

Submitted by jacos
on Thu, 07/09/2009 - 2:08pm

I'm sick of hearing about Soriano going to second.

Soriano at second makes Soriano in left look like Willie Mays in his prime.

Submitted by Ryno
on Thu, 07/09/2009 - 2:21pm

@cst_cubs (Whittenmeyer) also saying Stevens will take Hart's spot on the roster tomorrow.

Submitted by Rob G.
on Thu, 07/09/2009 - 2:36pm

http://muskat.mlblogs.com/archives/2009/07/78_hit_...

granted, Von Joshua basically wrote the article with his quotes, but real good detail on what problems he's seeing.

Submitted by Rob G.
on Thu, 07/09/2009 - 2:50pm

http://www.rulesofbaseball.com/quiz1.html

got 4 right, although some are worded very poorly imo...

Submitted by Tito
on Thu, 07/09/2009 - 3:24pm

6, but it gave me a headache.

Submitted by Ryno
on Thu, 07/09/2009 - 3:33pm

I got four, also, but I pretty much had to guess on all of them except the question about the first baseman who trapped the ball. That was the only one I knew for sure.

Submitted by Bleeding Blue
on Thu, 07/09/2009 - 9:41pm

Really interesting quiz.

I got 4, but I agree that some were poorly worded. Several times I guessed the "could also be correct" answer. There were a couple that I answered that would have been right based on the High School rule book but that are apparently different from the professional rules.

Submitted by Ahone Ahtwo Ahthree
on Fri, 07/10/2009 - 12:28pm

I got 5 right, but some were very confusing to figure out what the hell they were describing. I used to love the Rules question in Baseball Digest, because it was so off the wall...

Submitted by The Real Neal
on Sat, 07/11/2009 - 12:35pm

I would go farther than say 'poorly worded' and just call them incorrect. The two bunt ones (4 and 8?). Odds are that the runner on 2nd will have reached third by the time the ball is declared dead. On 8 unless the R3 crosses home before contact is made, he would have to re-touch third and then go back to home before they threw to 1st for the DP on R1.

Submitted by Rob G.
on Thu, 07/09/2009 - 2:54pm

http://www.nypost.com/seven/07092009/sports/yankee...

Submitted by Rob G.
on Thu, 07/09/2009 - 3:14pm

in top of the 8th...

1st/3rd 0 outs and Pujols due up...

he doubles to score in the go-ahead run

Submitted by Rob G.
on Thu, 07/09/2009 - 3:15pm

Ludwick follows up w/ a 3-run HR

5-1, think the gadget was just predicting the future.

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