Cub Fans: Go Garden Instead of Killing Someone
(click on the image to see the full-size version)
I was driving home from work Friday when a hapless woman slammed on her brakes, blocking the right lane, just past an entrance to the auto mechanic's place where she wanted to go. The car behind her was bumper to bumper, too close to pull around. The car behind that car was me, in the same predicament, only I was a Cub Fan and the Cubs had just lost to the Pirates again.
The woman wanting to go into the auto mechanic's place had apparently decided she'd wait until traffic cleared behind her so she could back up, rather than go around the block.
The Rage, it just took over.
I started blaring my horn at second #3.
I also had my top down, which gave me the luxury of yelling, which happened at about second #7.
By the time I could pull out into the left lane, little bits of stuff between my teeth were flying out my mouth while I let out a constant stream of full volume profanity which I'm sure you couldn't really hear because of the horn. When I got parallel, I stopped in the left lane (not caring about the traffic behind me), and with all the veins popping out of my neck told her in so many words that I thought she wasn't a very smart person.
And when she looked at me I didn't get the satisfaction of her being mad back because she looked... like she was looking at a crazy man.
How long had I been trapped there? Maybe 15 seconds.
And that's when I realized I'd lost it.
Which is why today is a perfect day to go garden with the game on your transistor.
Cubs on 1st and 3rd with one out and Aramis hits into a double play? Take your freaking hoe and whack the ground with all your might.
John Grabow comes in and walks the first two with the Cubs up by one in the 6th? Shovel like Cool Hand Luke in the prison line.
Get on your knees with that spade in both hands and plunge it into the dirty black heart of wasted run opportunity and pitching incompetence.
By the time the game's over, you'll be spent and even if the Cubs drop another one, the tomatoes will be planted.
Tim Souers work can be regularly found at Cubby Blue.
Thanks guys! Pretty sure Bill Murray says thanks too.
Awesome job, Tim!
Outfielder Chris Young signs "multiyear" contract w BoSox.
Wow, Dombrowski is a buffoon
Not sure I understand the logic, especially for more than one year.
well, that's the past. we're left with the present. even though that past you're seeing is some weird black/white either/or where hybridization of ideas isn't allowed...nonetheless...
the present is ice skating, movies, concerts, beer gardens, hotels, office space and other wonderful baseball activities based around a young, successful baseball team.
All money making ventures, which would have been offset with a reasonable TV contract that previous ownership screwed up
Nah, I'll probably just contemplate how they should've done a Padres-style all-in plan.
of course not. maybe go ice skating and think about it a while. make advanced reservations at the hotel they're starting construction on. check new releases for possible entertainment from the movie screens they want installed. think about renting an office in the new office spaces. write a letter to the cubs requesting your favorite beer be added to the beer garden. lobby your favorite band to play the outdoor venue.
...and in between that maybe they can find $40-50m to invest in the product that all of this revolves around.
let's not get caught up on phrasing for a setup and lose the gist of the post. i don't care what one wants to call the playoff exit.
+they lost their playoff attempt
there. now we can focus on something other than not liking the tone of a line that's setting up a point.
I didn't like the entire post, if that helps.
Making the NLCS with a young team = "crapping out of the playoffs with a young team."
I'm guessing 3/30 and all the two foot long hot dogs you can eat didn't work
Yes! In a 12-way tie for first!