Cub Fans: Go Garden Instead of Killing Someone
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I was driving home from work Friday when a hapless woman slammed on her brakes, blocking the right lane, just past an entrance to the auto mechanic's place where she wanted to go. The car behind her was bumper to bumper, too close to pull around. The car behind that car was me, in the same predicament, only I was a Cub Fan and the Cubs had just lost to the Pirates again.
The woman wanting to go into the auto mechanic's place had apparently decided she'd wait until traffic cleared behind her so she could back up, rather than go around the block.
The Rage, it just took over.
I started blaring my horn at second #3.
I also had my top down, which gave me the luxury of yelling, which happened at about second #7.
By the time I could pull out into the left lane, little bits of stuff between my teeth were flying out my mouth while I let out a constant stream of full volume profanity which I'm sure you couldn't really hear because of the horn. When I got parallel, I stopped in the left lane (not caring about the traffic behind me), and with all the veins popping out of my neck told her in so many words that I thought she wasn't a very smart person.
And when she looked at me I didn't get the satisfaction of her being mad back because she looked... like she was looking at a crazy man.
How long had I been trapped there? Maybe 15 seconds.
And that's when I realized I'd lost it.
Which is why today is a perfect day to go garden with the game on your transistor.
Cubs on 1st and 3rd with one out and Aramis hits into a double play? Take your freaking hoe and whack the ground with all your might.
John Grabow comes in and walks the first two with the Cubs up by one in the 6th? Shovel like Cool Hand Luke in the prison line.
Get on your knees with that spade in both hands and plunge it into the dirty black heart of wasted run opportunity and pitching incompetence.
By the time the game's over, you'll be spent and even if the Cubs drop another one, the tomatoes will be planted.
Tim Souers work can be regularly found at Cubby Blue.
If only he was clutcher. More clutcher.
cubs win...bryant with 7HR in his last 8 games.
bryant 2nd HR of the night for a 2 run lead in the 10th? sure, why not. awesome.
gawd...jansen's thrown 5 pitches in the past 5 minutes.
wild pitch (and a K, boo) with heyward advancing! 1 out, heyward on 3rd.
HEYWARD SCORES ON A 2nd WILD PITCH! TIE!
leadoff double (heyward!) top of the 9th...RALLY!
carlos ruiz is still coming up to "in the air tonight" by phil 'are you kidding me' collins in LA.
many years ago before phil collins it was a soulja boy song.
dude has odd taste in music. at least it's not yanni...i guess.
Funniest skybox ever
that was some joke ass official scoring giving him a double. either way, seager's on 2nd and soler's play in the OF is still sketchy.
Schwarber is worse right?
Seager with the two out double *cough* to left field in the bottom of the fourth. If Soler just plays that bunny hop off his nuts, it's a single - certainly no double.
rizzo is tired of SD/LA night games...yet another towering one that died on the warning track.
Vin's been around
Monty dropped a two strike curve on AGon
See I told you they were up to no good
My guy Addy
Vin and '84 legends