My Ouija conversation with Dead Aramis Ramirez
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This is kinda creepy I know, but the following conversation happened just last night...
ME: Aramis Ramirez!
(It's midnight, I'm sitting alone in a dark hotel room with my Ouija Board and a candle.)
ME: You there, Aramis?
(Man, it is SO weird talkin' with a dead guy.)
ME: Aramis, how do you feel about being picked as the National League's Least Valuable Player for the first half of 2010?
(Okay, pretty scary - the candle flame blew around as if there was a crazy wind in here.)
OUIJA: Like the matador who ran from El Toro.
(you've got experience with the Ouija, you know that sentence took about 20 minutes, but... TOTALLY worth it to speak with the dead.)
ME: Saw the You Tube clip - it's good to see you haven't lost your sense of humor, even if you're hitting .207.
OUIJA: Did you not notice the week before this All-Star break?
ME: You mean the thrill of sweeping Arizona and the agony of dropping 3 of 4 against L.A.?
(The closet door just slammed shut, I am not kidding.)
OUIJA: No! You are the bag of bad gas! I speak of my numbers: .428 with the average, 4 of the home runs, 9 of the runs batted in.
ME: This would go faster if you used acronyms. Like "RBI".
(Oh my GOD! A pencil flew across the room and hit me in the forehead.)
ME: So sorry, oh Aramis the Dead! The numbers are impressive!
OUIJA: Yes they are. If my thumb stays healed, I will come back to life!
ME: Awesome! So what do you think about Lou Piniella - how's he holding up?
OUIJA: He's standing right here, would you like to speak to him?
ME: I knew it!
OUIJA: What can I say, fellas? Nobody likes to lose. But what can you
...And that's when the candle blew out and I lost the Ouija connection.
But pretty cool talking with Aramis.
Lets see if he can really rise from the dead.
You can read Tim Souers work on daily basis at Cubby Blue.
To take my mind of this latest disaster...wow, I thought baseball money was crazy, but NBA money is now super-wacko crazy. Joakim Noah is 31 with bad knees and absolutely no offensive game. He can't make a layup. The Knicks just agreed to pay him $72M over 4 years. Holy crap.
Thank you, Jason, for allowing me to get to bed at a decent hour. Very thoughtful.
It will be very interesting to see what Theo does at the deadline. Of course, if Jake doesn't get straightened out, it really doesn't matter. A lot of Jake's comments this year, and his posing for nudie pics in the ESPN magazine, rang some alarm bells -- after one great year (and it was amazingly great), his head has swelled tremendously. Jake, look up the word "hubris", then look in the mirror.
...and we're back from the 3rd rain delay.
at least the cubs have a decent backup of...ummmm....well the minor league system has...uhhh...hmmm.
maybe adam warren can manage to throw less than 100 pitches in 5 innings? no?
Not to worry -- I'm sure Hammel will finish strong in the 2nd half of the season (~sad chuckle, reaches for Scotch bottle~).
Hammel has had a rather challenging last month. I am hoping post-break that Hendrix gets pushed ahead of him. They'll be lucky to win a game in NY
hey, alright...cubs losing by 9 and a 3rd rain delay. awesome.
If baseball does not work out for Patton, I think he's got a future in Civil War re-enactments. He's got a solid Johnny-Reb look to him.
David Ross - the mound awaits you.
RIP jason hammel's awesome ERA.
10 ER in 4ip...almost a full point tacked on tonight, alone. 5HR given up tonight. oogly.
Nimmo certainly does not want to see the Cubs leave town. His first MLB rbi last night and now his first HR.
At least Hammel is eating some innings ... this is the kind of game Peralta should be used if at all.
OK, the hell with it.
It's July 1 -- Hammel starting to suck right on schedule.
Other than sweeping the Reds -- a bad team actively trying to lose -- this will make 8 losses in 9 games to good teams (Cards, Marlins, Mets). Not good at all.
Belicheat a consultant for the Red Sox?
And, so, Jason Hammel decides to test my new resolution right away. Sheesh.
No Wright, no Duda, no Granderson -- no problem for NY. Ugh.
game restarting...degrom on the mound, hammel taking his AB.