Toiling for the P-Cubs

Dear Randy -

You could do a lot worse.

I bet you didn't know that Forbes Magazine ranked Des Moines the #1 city in America for young professionals. And you gotta be the only one around here pulling down $2.7M per annum. You should get out more and explore. That's probably advice you're not used to getting but since you may be here for a while...

There's much more than the Court Avenue entertainment district. Broaden your horizons.

Have you been out to the Des Moines Art Center to see the Jackson Pollock display? Hard to believe his "Mural" is supposedly worth more than a Powerball jackpot but one man's doodling is another man's masterpiece, apparently.

Speaking of art, there's the sculpture garden right downtown that's drawn rave reviews since it was installed a few years ago. The annual Art Festival is the last weekend in June and it too ranks very high nationally. It's a great place for trolling, and so is the Farmer's Market down near the ballpark on Saturday mornings if you're up in time.

Are you into golf at all? We host the stop on the Senior Tour that's voted #1 every year by the players. That's probably not your style. Let's see, what else...

There's RAGBRAI, the Tour de Iowa in July when thousands bike across the state en masse, from the wide Missouri to the mighty Mississippi. It's quite a tourist attraction; lots of church ladies pie, homegrown corn on the cob, lemonade and drunken trysts between strangers who never meet again; that sort of thing. But your work schedule won't allow for that I don't suppose.

Looks like you pitched a solid six last night in Fresno and got that ERA down below seven. Maybe Volstad's oblique will get bent out of shape and you'll get recalled back where you feel you belong. Or Samson, I mean Deep Threat, will get a haircut and lose a few mph/games. There are lots of possible scenarios that put you back at Wrigley where you threw that gem to kick off the Memorial Day weekend in 2010. Remember? That game against the Cardinals when I was halfway to Chicago before I realized I forgot the tickets and, long story short, scrambled into my seat right before the anthem, just in time to see you soil yourself and leave without recording an out.

I just hate to see you suffer while you're stuck here pitching in purgatory.

Ever played cribbage?


drunken trysts between strangers who never meet again; that sort of thing

In Iowa... who'd a thunk it.

"...Honey, we're going to vacation in Des Moines this year... I want to see the art display by that Phillip Jackson guy. We'll leave as soon as all the snow in Iowa melts. Another three weeks should do it."

"drunken trysts between strangers "

They don't brand the cattle in Iowa?


tats & computer chips?

In Pella we considered Oskaloosa as sin city. BYOB tho...

in pella, des moines is sodom AND gomorrah!

Fuck all that shit, Ottumwa is where it's at.

An unfortunately all the Cubs will be healthy this year

Bryce Harper's high five puts DeRosa on DL

"Fist pounds for safety next time, Mark. Fist pounds for safety."

I'm not sure if getting fisted by Harper would help anything.


"Nobody has gotten greater value against pitches on the outer-third of the strike zone, or further away, than LaHair."

that is a horrifying chart. unless you're vlad, stuff like that rarely works out. it's a testament to both his power and quality of contact...and a bit of luck.

With a .510 BABIP, it's a helluva' lot more than a "bit of luck."

fwiw...j.heyman claims the cubs are more interested in keeping/extending garza (and working on it) rather than seeking a trade partner.

Recent comments

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  • 8 in a row to end the year...let's do this playoffs thing.

  • shelby miller (ATL) finishes the season with a win, snapping his 24-game winless streak...because ATL bats are non-existent.

    3.02 era, 1.25 whip, 205.1ip, 171K

    6-17 w/l...ugg.

  • Totally independent of the Cubs winning or losing today, Dan Haren came into today's game having earned $2M of his potential $3M in performance bonuses for 2015. 

    By making the start (his 32nd start of the season) he picked up $500K, and he'll get the remaining $500K if he can throw at least 8.2 IP in the game (he was at 181.1 IP coming into the game, and he needs to reach 190 IP to get the remaining $500K), 

    It's a bit like the old "Bowling for Dollars" TV show, but of course Haren is actually "Pitching for Dollars."

  • holy crap, MIL is just...awful.

  • i think he's currently playing for the Santo Domingo Meths. he's an Adderall-Star player there.

  • I'm longing for a Neifi sighting.

  • if you have stable/fast internet you can stream with and you don't mind giving up $20 a month check out "sling tv".

    TBS, TNT, ESPN 1+2, etc...100% legal.


  • 68 pitches (50 strikes)

    love seeing that...especially with the batters doing very little with it.

  • Yeah, keep him off the playoff roster.

  • Or, he's looked exactly like Ted Williams.

  • Lately he hasn't looked like Ted Williams...

  • Reading between the lines on some of his comments he seems to know his longish swing doesn't play well with a man on third and two outs, and two strikes on him. I doubt a playoff adjustment is happening, just something he'll need to figure out next year. I have this odd feeling he will.

  • Mark Gonzales ‏@MDGonzales 4m4 minutes ago
    Bryant leads NL rookies in HRs (26), RBIs (99), 2B (31) and runs (86). Last rookie to reach 26 HR, 99 RBI, 31 2bs, 86 runs and 74 BBs?

    Mark Gonzales ‏@MDGonzales 4m4 minutes ago
    Boston’s Ted Williams in 1939

  • Surprised and bummed that Mark Buehrle is retiring. One of my all-time favorite pitchers. I think he could pitch for 5 more years.

  • Probably going to a bar/restaurant with TBS. Cord-cutting is so over-rated.