(This of course inspired by Rob's headline yesterday)
So, I don't know jack, do you?
The other day somebody said that Jorge Soler was gonna sign a contract with the Cubs, he just couldn't find his pen.
Now it's all kindsa teams trying to get close to Soler, apparently.
The Cubs, represented in the chart as the USS Enterprise, still seem to be the closest.
But the Yankee Evil Empire suddenly came on the screens, and not alot Captain James T. Epstein can do with his phasers against those guys.
(This of course inspired by Rob's headline yesterday)
Edgar Gonzalez, Matt Tolbert, and Trever Miller all in the same day?
Yeah, it's just the beginning of price-paying for you and me as our favorite team attempts to claw out of their 104 year old hole.
Seriously though, everything's gonna work out just fine, right?
Just a little angst now and then.
I'll deal with it by drawing.
You guys heard about this superstar Cuban outfielder guy, right?
And I'm sure you read that the Cubs are Yoenis Cespedas' leading suitor.
Anyway, the other day I was driving around listening to The Score, and heard about this legendary Cespedas video.
Dan Bernstein was saying that it apparently showed what an amazing, freak athlete this Cespedas guy is - that he reminded people of Bo Jackson.
But also that mysteriously, You Tube had taken it down.
So the Cubs traded flamethrowing Andrew Cashner for a real first base prospect, Anthony Rizzo of the Padres
Sure, young Andrew has tremendous potential.
Last year, he was one third of the whole reason we were supposed to be excited about the Cubs.
The other two thirds... well one got traded and the other accused of sexual assault (but that's another story or a hundred, just wait).
The point is the Cubs got a seriously fabulous chance at a real first baseman, and I no longer have to worry about Cashner's shoulder.
When I came up with this little animated gif, I was actually gagging on Cubs Depression after reading MLBTR's "Complete and Total Rebuild" post.
But I got over it.
The gif is supposed to illustrate what our Cub brains have been fed in the past off-seasons...
A Box 'o Rocks wrapped in something shiny (thanks Crunch) like: "The Three C's: Castro, Cashner & Colvin!" or "Getting Left Handed Will Get Us To The Series!"
(Okay, maybe nothing shiny about the "Left Handed" thing, but you know what I mean.)
Well, it looks like if you're gonna be a Chicago Cub any more, you better learn plate discipline.
A little patience.
Make the pitcher work.
That kinda stuff.
Tyler Colvin, he can hit a homer once in awhile, but he ain't no walker.
David DeJesus on the other hand, has 359 walks in his 3797 career at-bats.
Young Tyler, he's got 46 in his 581 career at-bats.
If you pro Tyler's 581 at-bats to 3797, his walks project to about 300.
(That's me doing math, so as always there's a giant chance it's wrong, but whatever.)
(Please click on the thumbnail above.)
If you're a "South Park" fan, hopefully you get a laugh here.
Yeah, the collective dislike and bashing of Cub Suit Crane Kenney is pretty old news, but this cartoon just popped in my head.
Of course, it would be awesome if this gif had an accompanying story about Kenney actually being dismissed or moving on, but that didn't happen.
What's really going on?
Why, the Cubs will interview Mike Maddux for their manager job.
Lets see what happens...
You were wondering too.
"What's the matter with Napoli?"
He's rolling around on the ground for no reason whatso...
Then they showed the replay.
DID YOU SEE HOW FAR HIS ANKLE BENT?
Oh my GOD!
I fell off the couch making dog noises.
Just get a freaking stretcher and have a surgeon re-attach his foot.
Thanks guys! Pretty sure Bill Murray says thanks too.
Awesome job, Tim!
Outfielder Chris Young signs "multiyear" contract w BoSox.
Wow, Dombrowski is a buffoon
Not sure I understand the logic, especially for more than one year.
well, that's the past. we're left with the present. even though that past you're seeing is some weird black/white either/or where hybridization of ideas isn't allowed...nonetheless...
the present is ice skating, movies, concerts, beer gardens, hotels, office space and other wonderful baseball activities based around a young, successful baseball team.
All money making ventures, which would have been offset with a reasonable TV contract that previous ownership screwed up
Nah, I'll probably just contemplate how they should've done a Padres-style all-in plan.
of course not. maybe go ice skating and think about it a while. make advanced reservations at the hotel they're starting construction on. check new releases for possible entertainment from the movie screens they want installed. think about renting an office in the new office spaces. write a letter to the cubs requesting your favorite beer be added to the beer garden. lobby your favorite band to play the outdoor venue.
...and in between that maybe they can find $40-50m to invest in the product that all of this revolves around.
let's not get caught up on phrasing for a setup and lose the gist of the post. i don't care what one wants to call the playoff exit.
+they lost their playoff attempt
there. now we can focus on something other than not liking the tone of a line that's setting up a point.
I didn't like the entire post, if that helps.
Making the NLCS with a young team = "crapping out of the playoffs with a young team."
I'm guessing 3/30 and all the two foot long hot dogs you can eat didn't work
Yes! In a 12-way tie for first!