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So the Cubs traded flamethrowing Andrew Cashner for a real first base prospect, Anthony Rizzo of the Padres
Sure, young Andrew has tremendous potential.
Last year, he was one third of the whole reason we were supposed to be excited about the Cubs.
The other two thirds... well one got traded and the other accused of sexual assault (but that's another story or a hundred, just wait).
The point is the Cubs got a seriously fabulous chance at a real first baseman, and I no longer have to worry about Cashner's shoulder.

When I came up with this little animated gif, I was actually gagging on Cubs Depression after reading MLBTR's "Complete and Total Rebuild" post.
But I got over it.
The gif is supposed to illustrate what our Cub brains have been fed in the past off-seasons...
A Box 'o Rocks wrapped in something shiny (thanks Crunch) like: "The Three C's: Castro, Cashner & Colvin!" or "Getting Left Handed Will Get Us To The Series!"
(Okay, maybe nothing shiny about the "Left Handed" thing, but you know what I mean.)

Well, it looks like if you're gonna be a Chicago Cub any more, you better learn plate discipline.
A little patience.
Make the pitcher work.
That kinda stuff.
Tyler Colvin, he can hit a homer once in awhile, but he ain't no walker.
David DeJesus on the other hand, has 359 walks in his 3797 career at-bats.
Young Tyler, he's got 46 in his 581 career at-bats.
If you pro Tyler's 581 at-bats to 3797, his walks project to about 300.
(That's me doing math, so as always there's a giant chance it's wrong, but whatever.)

If you're a "South Park" fan, hopefully you get a laugh here.
Yeah, the collective dislike and bashing of Cub Suit Crane Kenney is pretty old news, but this cartoon just popped in my head.
Of course, it would be awesome if this gif had an accompanying story about Kenney actually being dismissed or moving on, but that didn't happen.

What's really going on?

Why, the Cubs will interview Mike Maddux for their manager job.
Lets see what happens...

 

You were wondering too.
"What's the matter with Napoli?" 
He's rolling around on the ground for no reason whatso...
Then they showed the replay.
DID YOU SEE HOW FAR HIS ANKLE BENT?
Oh my GOD!
I fell off the couch making dog noises.
Just get a freaking stretcher and have a surgeon re-attach his foot.

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