Wall Street Journal Lucky That Tony LaRussa Didn't Have to Kick its Ass

On their regular sports page Thursday, the Wall Street Journal takes a look at some of baseball's arguably "bad ideas." Included is the strategy of having the pitcher bat eighth, which a certain St. Louis Cardinals manager routinely did the past couple years but this year has said he will do more sporadically.

Several statisticians who have studied the matter say it does make some
sense. Seattle Mariners consultant Tom Tango says the move doesn't make
a huge difference, but could give the team something on the order of
two runs over the course of a season. In fact, he says, the No. 8 hole
is actually the ideal spot for the pitcher. "It's more important to set
up the top of the order with a bad hitter than a horrible one," he
says. That benefit, he says, outweighs the cost of letting the pitcher
get a few more at bats.

Also quoted in the piece is another old friend, Andy MacPhail, who weighs in on the question of whether it's possible for a tall catcher to succeed in the majors. MacPhail's opinion is relevant given the rising star of O's catching prospect, Matt Wieters, who stands 6-foot-5 and hit .355 with 27 homers last year between Class A and Double-A.

Andy's answer is non-committal.

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Comments

Just another example of how lineup construction is vastly overrated. Of course i have an idea how I would like a lineup to be, but i am sure there is very little difference in actual runs scored from most peoples lineup.

Of course I am talking about fairly normal lineups, not lineups where someone would have the P leading off or their best hitter batting 9th.

2B Soriano
1B Lee
CF Bradley
3B Ramirez
LF Hoffpauir
C Soto
P Zambrano
RF Fox
SS Fontenot

!!!!1!!

Soriano is not playing 2B barring an absolute emergency for an inning or two. He averaged over 20 errors a season playing there, which is horrible for an middle IF.

Maybe Hoffpauir can play second, then.

OK, I just want to say that lineup would be really f'n cool - maybe if we play TEX in the World Series, y'know?

Blago letter to Lou in 5/07 with some line up advice-

http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/cubs...

The thing that the Brewer's manager discoverd when he tried hitting the pitcher 8th was that the 7th hitter, all-of-a-sudden, didn't get anything to hit. When people put the stats into their forumlae to get how many run would be scored with each scenario, you have to take stuff like that into account.

The Cubs are probably a team it would make sense for, if they hit Theriot 9th, because that would limit his GIDP's and it would also have a decent OBP guy ahead of Soriano. A little less sense now that Marquis' bat is in Colorado, though.

WSCR reporting, if I heard it correctly, Hoffpauir getting the start and batting cleanup today. Cub fans being racist assholes, they ought to appreciate having a white guy batting 4th for a change.

Although he's Amish.

Yeah, but he's Texas Amish. Black sheep.

What's the appropriate racial/religious epithet to yell at him?

Zipper hater, y'all?

NICE BEARD, YOU USER OF ELECTRICITY FOR TASKS SUCH AS COOKING, CARPENTRY, AND TRAVEL.

So he really is Amish? I thought that was just a joke b/c of his name.

Being an MLB player would pretty much go against everything the Amish stand for...so no, I'm guessing not.

The appropriate epithet, by the way, is "Buttonless". Ok, actually, as a kid in Indiana, I remember them being referred to as Amo's.

Would I kid about something like that?

Trib reporting the same thing. Hoff in RF hitting 4th. Ramirez back at 3rd too hitting 5th.

While I hope Hoffpauir has a great game, if he goes 3-4 with a HR, I am not looking forward to hearing all the hoopla many Cubs fans will spout. He will instantaneously become the 2nd coming. Or maybe I will enjoy seeing some Cubs fans drool ridiculously...:)

too many of these "bat the pitcher 8th" arguments don't take in account that baseball is not a game where 1 batter faces 1 pitcher with no impact of who's before or after the batter.

you better believe the manager, pitcher, catcher, and coaches measure that impact and adjust their approach.

if soto is hitting 7th with Z hitting 8th and theriot 9th...who the hell would pitch to soto as if they needed to? hey, those extra walks will improve his ob%...ptth. in this cubs lineup, especially, there's not a lot of "junk" at the bottom of the lineup.

Well... being that Zambrano is a better hitter than Theriot, it would probably actually help out Soto to have Z batting ahead of Theriot.

can i buy some weed from you?

Well if power is the only measuring factor in who is a better hitter then by all means Zambrano is the better hitter.

Hey guess what Ryan Theriot is hitting .390 with a .478 OBP, clearly he must suck and needs removal from this team so he can be replaced by a more expensive shittier version.

Oh my... it was a joke.

And yea - I am sure that Theriot is going to continue hitting .390/.478

I'm not going to lie to you guys - I feel like I'm going to have a career best parachat today. No-hitter type stuff in the bullpen this morning.

I'm going to fucking rock this bitch.

How is Wes performing so far??

Kinda' under-performing today.

I was pretty pleased with how I performed today. You know, I went out there and executed and it felt good. There's some good things and some bad things, you know? I've got to build on some things, but there were a lot of things that I did really well today. It's still early, and we're going to get those things worked out, you know? I mean, it's only one day. We're going to have a lot of days before this season's over, and we've just got to take it one day at a time and keep getting better.

do you and nomar garciappara have the same media coach? well played positive-themed "saying nothing at all", there.

awesome.

Soriano, Fukudome, Lee, Hoffpauir (RF), Ramirez, Fontenot, Soto, Theriot, Marshall

vs.

Ryan (2B), Ankiel, Pujols, Ludwick, Molina, Duncan, Greene, Barden, Wainwright

I sort of like this lineup...

Our lineup will be kickass come away interleague games. You put in Bradley and take out Marshall, this lineup has some serious thunder.

... Rich Harden had a historic outing on Wednesday. The Cubs right-hander faced 17 batters and gave up five hits, walked four and struck out eight. That means every batter he faced either got a hit, a walk or a strikeout. According to Elias, no other pitcher over the past 80 years had faced as many batters in a Major League game with each batter getting a hit, a walk or a strikeout.

Ehh, I guess at least we had THAT.

So there were no groundouts or flyouts? Is that what that means? So BABIP for the game for the Rox was approx 1.000? I suppose that's a good thing, huh?

I am going to go out on a limb and predict that Harden will not always allow a 1.000 BABIP.

Way to take a risk, buddy.

To me, the most interesting stat I saw during yesterday's game was that the Cubs were somehow only 4th in the NL in walks. Considering they scored 4 straight runs off BBs and Fukudome had 3 himself the following game, and even Soriano has been taking a few so far this year I assumed they were 1st by a wide margin.

You know what's even more ridiculous? One of the three teams ahead of the Cubs in BBs is fucking CINCY! (the other two are MIL and LAD)

Edit: One other ridiculous early season stat - Fukudome is currently 2nd (ahead of Pujols) in the NL in OPS+ at 229.

I would imagine that the 3-run dinger he just hit won't hurt that, either!
Sweet!

Just hit a 3-run, go ahead homer! Fuku-MVP!

And he's not even a white guy...

Apparently Soto's arm is feeling better. CS Duncan. I'm sure La Russa just loves the runner representing the tying run getting caught stealing.

That was nice. I wonder how Lou's feeling about 2 games in a row having a strike 'em out throw 'em out go against us. I'm getting pretty sick of that play.

How about the awful strike 1 and 3 calls against Bradley today. After that I was happy he got tossed, and wished he would have gotten his money's worth a bit more. Those were some absolute BULLSHIT calls.

I was following on my phone, and when I saw the pitch locations and that he took three called strikes in a row, I wondered to myself, "Did Bradley throw a fit and get ejected?" Sure 'nuff.

they were terrible calls by the ump, the strike out was an absolute joke...

Bradley with a stellar home debut.

Looked like a ball to me though.

for those not watching, he had 3-0, called strike that was quite low, another called strike that probably did catch the inside corner and then 3-2 curveball that was nowhere near the fucking strike zone. I mean ridiculously inside....terrible, terrible call.

Bradley wasn't going to play the field anyway, so might as well get his two cents in on that one, but he really got fucked on the calls.

It was probably a ball, but it wasn't THAT bad. Saying it was no where near the fucking strike zone is an exaggeration. It was caught off the plate, but it might have caught the inside corner on the curve, or might have just missed. He got squeezed a bit, but then again, he saw 3 pitches that were close enough to be called strikes and didn't lift the bat off of his shoulder.

On another note, our bullpen blows today.

don't worry...if they march out 10 relievers at least 1 or 2 will have a good day.

I'm sorry, I don't think that ball was ever on the plate. I really don't. I thought that was an absolute miserable call. I understand giving Wainwright the benefit of the doubt on the 3-0 because it was kinda close, but I cannot agree that the 3-2 was even remotely close to being a strike.

The issue is that we don't really have clear definitions of what terms like "remotely close" mean. So it's a pretty dumb argument.

I just don't like the idea of leaving it up the ump. Players know the reputations of umpires, there were bad calls all day leading up to that, there were two pitches in THAT AT-BAT that Bradley didn't agree with, and he knows that umps dislike him because of his reputation - so why take the chance? Swing the fucking bat. He's 1-18 and injured, and he sure as hell didn't help himself in getting any better calls this season by jumping in an ump's face and getting ejected, so regardless if the call was correct or not, I am not happy with him so far.

Unless you think that Barry Bonds and Ted Williams were universally loved by umpires, there doesn't seem to be any correlation between popularity and getting pitches.

I agree, logically you would expect their to be, but it all seems to be on reputation, whether you're Mother Theresa or Aldoph Hitler.

This is one of your famous "the evidence" shows without showing any evidence. This is complete bullshit and you know it.

To prove this you would first need to measure "popularity," then measure the percentage of borderline pitches called balls or strikes, controlled for by umpire and situation, etc.

You can't do it, and it hasn't been done, so your assertion that there is somehow definitively no correlation is completely your opinion and nothing more.

You really ought to let your vendetta go, Wis. The more you open your mouth, the more obvious it becomes how ignorant you are.

It is evidence. The two hitters who are reported to have got the most calls, are also widely reported to have been jerks.

Is it conclusive evidence that being a jerk gets you more calls? No, and and I didn't say or imply that it does. But is it a clear illustration that you can be a jerk and get calls, yes.

You're the guy who looked a the first set of fossilized dinosaur remains and say 'that's just a coincidence, there wasn't really a creature like that' aren't you? You've got 3 hitters, who have been known to be asses to players, umpires, fans and managers who have led the league in OBP. Just for once, think about it.

If you don't understand terms like correlation, then don't use them. Pointing out three cases doesn't prove there is no correlation. You are the guy who looked at the first set of Diplodocus bones and said "ALL dinosuars were 175 feet long!!" And then later it turns out that that is the largest one every found and that the vast majority of dinosaurs were small, oops, I guess we can't exatrapolate to the universe of cases from examining just 3, huh, who would have guessed that?

Also, everyone knows that reputation and umpire perception matter. Greg Maddux is more likely to get a borderline strike than a pitcher just up from AAA. A pitcher who stares in or shows up the ump on a borderline pitch is less likely to get the next one to go his way. A hitter who starts walking to first on what he thought was ball four and makes a scene as he gets back in the box is less likely to have the next borderline pitch go his way. Anyone who has watched baseball knows this. Milton Bradley is not Barry Bonds or Ted Williams. If Bradley had the career and history of having a good eye comparable to those two, he would have walked yesterday. But he doesn't yet. He had 80 walks and 112 strikeouts last year, his plate discipline is not going to get him calls like Bonds and Williams.

Here's a horribly inaccurate paraphrase of a story I heard on the air a while ago. I'm pretty sure it was Bob telling it during a ST game about another ST game.

I don't remember the specifics, so I'll make up the details:
Pitcher on the mound is established...say, Maddux maybe? Batter at the plate is a minor leaguer with high number on his back...say, 99? The batter gets two strikes called on him which were clearly balls. The batter turns to the ump, "That's Greg Maddux, huh?" - "Yup" - "I'm wearing #99, aren't I?" - "Yup" - "I better be swinging, huh?" - "Yup".

That's actually a pretty good recap, I remember that story from Bob too. I just want to go on record as saying, that yes, it was a ball, Cubs got screwed; but in the same sense it wasn't a complete shocker to me that the call didn't go Bradley's way; and moreover I am not sure his reaction is going to help him get the next call go his way either. That's all.

Lost in all of this discussion is that the 3-1 pitch was clearly a strike and one that Bradley should have been swinging at. I understand taking a pitch on 3-0, but there is no excuse for letting a 3-1 meatball go right over the heart of the plate. You aren't getting paid $10MM a year to look at those pitches - crush that thing!

I guess I'm undecided on the fact that umpires like and dislike certain players and don't give them a call because of it, but you are certainly right about the slump he's been in. I've known umpires to not like guys, but if they're basing their borderline calls on how they feel about Player X, then they're in the wrong business. They don't need to be making judgement calls in baseball games, they need to be judging reality shows.

I do believe that a guy who has gotten on base at better than 400 three of the last five years has a pretty good idea of where the strike zone is. I think he had a very valid case in being upset and getting ejected. I stand by my belief that both the 3-0 and 3-2 were not strikes that the 3-2 was not close to being a strike, either. He got two bullshit calls in that at bat. He saw one strike in the 6 pitches he saw.

I am not really disagreeing with you, and I don't really care that much. My feeling is simply this:

I am tired of it being the ump's fault or Bartman's fault, or whatever. After Bradley's K and the tantrum, I felt that the inning was over and a sense of "the ump screwed" us was already starting to seep in with the team. Bad calls happen, but the good teams get over them. The Cubs haven't turned that corner yet, in my opinion.

He got called out on ball five. I'd be a little ticked, too.

Yadier Molina is probably my second least favorite player in baseball behind Corey Hart.

Hey, not sure if anyone else noticed, but Neal Cotts SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hard not to. Is Waddell any good? Casey Lambert? Will Ohman still available?

What did A-Ram do? Yahoo slow as per.

At least Vizcaino hasn't walked anyone yet.

Well boys, I sat 4 rows right behind home plate today. Saw everything. I will tell you with as much as I know without benefit of replay, Bradley had every right to be totally fucking pissed.

The ump was terrible and is one of the guys that should retire and go on his merry way.

What a mother-fucking, bullshit, show-up-the-player cocksucker.

If soto cannot re-learn how to hit a breaking ball, he will be hovering around .200

Just terrible plate discipline so car as well.

Wainright did a nice job, but the ump gave him plenty of strikes which were not afforded to the cubs for similar locations.

This is a good Cardinal team, and will be there until the end barring injuries. Btw, the crowd was digging on Bradley,!even though he's black.

Cubs lose 7-4 to divisional rival STL. Cubs now drop 2 full games behind STL in the division race and drop to 5-4 overall on the young season.

THE GOOD:
- Fukudome. Had another big day with 2 hits, one of them a 3-run HR. He continues his red hot April batting .375 so far.

THE BAD:
- Bradley. Made his Wrigley debut today and it lasted one AB (a K) and then he was tossed for arguing. I did not see the game, but word is the called strike were bad calls, but not a good first impression for the Wrigley faithful.

THE UGLY:
- Bullpen. Yeah I am looking at you Cotts, Heliman, Guzman and Patton. While Marshall did not look very good, he did hold the Cards to 3 runs and kept his team in the game. But the bullpen gave up 4 runs and lost the game for the Cubs today. Thanks fellows, good luck dealing with Lou.

Like I said yesterday, I will take a split in this 4-game series and be happy, especially if by the end of the series we have everyone back healthy. After today, I believe that even more. We got Big Z going tomorrow vs a pitcher making his MLB Debut for STL. Let's jump on the kid early and start the weekend off good. Go Cubs!!!

I sincerely hope he's not a soft-tossing lefty.

Kind of a junk righty. P.J. Walters. Throws 85-88 with a really nice change-up and a so-so curveball. Slider needs work.

LOT of K's in the minors for a guy with that kind of repertoire.

BA named him their 17th best prospect:

'His best pitch is so good that people have a hard time describing it. He calls it a changeup but it's rotation and late movemen have some scouts and coaches still calling it a screwball'

Lot of walks in Memphis last year, over 1 per 2 innings.

Any idea why the Cardinals are messing with their rotation to get this guy in?

I found this from Yahoo:

Apr 16 Lohse and Todd Wellemeyer will have their next starts pushed back a day so that P.J. Walters can pitch Friday, the St. Louis Post-Dispatch reports.

Recommendation: The Cardinals didn't want Walters to pitch in the nationally televised games over the weekend. Lohse will start Saturday and Wellemeyer will start Sunday.

So instead he gets to pitch in a nationally televised game on WGN tomorrow.

*high five's the Cardinals*

BTW, the picture of LaRussa on the left panel has cracking me up all day.

I read that, too. I called it a change because that's what I found it called more places than not. I wonder how he grips that thing. I've never seen the kid but I've heard of him. I called a couple of folks who may familiar with him, but I haven't heard anything back.

If you aren't going to watch the game, then don't comment on it. Going off on what others have said gives you nothing more than regurgitated stuff. Had you actually seen the game, you would have saw that Bradley got a large ovation from the crowd and his arguing and immediate ejection were also both enjoyed by the crowd because they were backing Bradley.

All of us can make assumptions by using the box score dude. If you can't watch the game, then don't recap on anything other than what the box score tells you.

Personally I was very happy to see Bradley go apeshit, I hope he doesn't get suspended over it but that was just a horrible horrible call. The 3-0 pitch was 'ok' for a 3-0 pitch...but the 3-2 was just an inside breaking ball that came over the play too high and inside. It never even nipped the zone in my opinion. Molina had to reach to the other side of the plate across his body to even catch it.

Horrible strike call, and then they didn't give some of the Cubs pitchers any similar 'leeway' with the strike zone.

Or you can just not read it...:)

or you could know what you're talking about... ; )

HA HA...Look who's talking.

That's good to know that the Wrigley crowd liked it. I'd hate to see them turn on him -- because the guy can just rake it. I tend to think this team could use a little fire in its pants like that.

It is still early but our middle relief is becoming a problem. Heilman is looking more like the 08 Heilman than the guy that was decent for a few years. Patton was given a shot and didn't get the job done. Cotts has had an absolute horrible year so far. Guzman gave up the bomb. Vizcaino looked 'ok' maybe he's next in the derby.

The strike 3 call on Bradley was also horrible. The only thing that I can say is that umps hate it when guys go up there and don't swing the bat, I know it shouldn't matter but something about human nature, I've seen it before. If Milton fouls off strike 2 I bet 'strike 3' is called a ball. I'm glad he got his money worth on that one.

Soto and Fontenot now in the ice cold zone. This team will be fun to watch once the offense is running on all cylinders.

The Cardinals are a hotter team than the Cubs right now, but I still think the Cubs are better overall if they can get anyone at all to throw some decent relief innings.

Patton went 2 scoreless innings on Wednesday. Why trot him out again?

An I officially disagree with MANNY. You were not there and did no see the game.

Bradley is one of the few guys on re team that shows passion on his sleeve.

Maybe you prefer milquetoast DLEE who would have just walked away as if he's pickin up his dry cleaning?

The dude wants to win, and be was not going to play of batting for the pitcher.

In this case, he was totally fuched over in the turning point of the game.

Maybe you prefer milquetoast DLEE who would have just walked away as if he's pickin up his dry cleaning?

Well... in either case, they would have gone back to the dugout, and the result would have been the same.

I have no problem with boardgame arguing with the bad calls, but I have no idea how arguing, and getting ejected, is any better than just walking away.

It's probably not better, but sometimes it's nice to see a player get fired up. It's them showing us that it's about more than a paycheck.

Also, I was furious about those calls, and obviously I can't do anything about it from my couch, so it was nice to live vicariously through Milton for about 2 seconds while he told the ump what a worthless cocksucker he is.

It's human nature. When we're feeling frustrated, we like "our guys" to act frustrated. It's how successful politicians operate and why we were so annoyed with Dusty by the time he left. He just "looked" like he didn't care. Of course he cared, but it was annoying to see him lurch around day after day as if it were just a job. Remember how fun it was to watch Lou go bitch out Dempster his first month as manager?

That said, while unprofessional, it was probably a nice move by Bradley from a PR perspective. Doubtful he was thinking about PR during that AB, but it is what it is.

Haven't the Cubs had a pretty good record that kind of 'sparks' them when crazy things happen like after the Barrett fight with AJ or Z and Barrett going at it in the dugout?

Of course Barrett could be the X factor in that equasion. But maybe Bradley's outburst will lead to a nice little stretch.

Perhaps Bradly needs to fly up to Toronto, get in a fight with Barrett and fly back. Problem solved.

Chewing out an umpire for fucking up in a crucial situation is not unprofessional. If he wasn't in the game as a PH, and got thrown out then you may have a point, but it is professional to protect your reputation as a hitter with a keen eye. Maybe if the previously mentioned Lee did the same thing over the last four years he wouldn't be chasing fastballs 6 inches off the outside of the plate today.

Please excuse my typo. A

It's my iPhone

It beats me what the balance is in going nutbag on a bad 3rd strike call or just walking away.

Does the league review all ejections? Does somebody from the office tell the ump, looks like he might have had a point?
I assume the hilight will (at least may) make SportsCenter. Do umps prefer not to show up there? Be seen making a shit call before the eruption?
None of this happens in the DLee walk-away version of events. Or when somebody complains "the right way"--keep your eyes forward, say your piece, and walk away.

Also, the team is in shakedown mode the first 50 games. Lou is giving the relievers the chance to show whether or not they want to perform with the Cubs, at Iowa, or with somebody else. He'll bitch at them now, keep 'em or get rid of 'em about Memorial Day.

I totally agree about the bullpen shakedown. But how many games is that going to cost us overall? I hope not too many.

Is there a bullpen version of Jim Edmonds and Rich Harden ready to come to the rescue? We will find out.

I really don't think any of the Iowa guys are going to come to the rescue, unless Shark can get hot again. His 6 hot weeks last year really helped out the pen in a huge way.

Personally, I've seen enough of the Cotts experiment. At this point, about the only thing he has going for him is he's white.

be nice to see him get an inning...he's being used a 1-2 batter guy too f'n much, imo.

he's not a loogy...he's a guy you give an inning or 2 to. he's capable of the work and his stuff isn't dependent on pounding the left side of the plate.

Its early and I'll give Cotts the benefit of the doubt so far but he's given up 4 hits nad 2 walks in 2.2 IP. Hopefully he gets together.

Anybody besides me getting real tired of Angel Guzman? Dude's giving me the shits, we need to give that Bozo a one-way ticket out of Chicago, preferably to someone we play 14 times a year.

Losing Guzman is going to hurt a little but its going to happen unless he either gets injured again or turns it around pretty fast, I don't see either him or Patton staying on the roster all year if they don't turn it around by the end of the month.

Gooz has good stuff, for him it's a matter of staying consistent and keeping things under control.

"for him it's a matter of staying consistent and keeping things under control."

And WHEN, in his CAREER, has he ever done this??

Everybody says Guzman has good stuff, they said the same thing about Anthony Young and Kyle Farnsworth. The proof is in the pudding. Guzman sucks.

...they said the same thing about Anthony Young and Kyle Farnsworth

Touchè.

LaTroy Hawkins even had good stuff, imo... so much for good stuff.

Besides Marmol and Gregg, it would shock me that by the end of the year if more than one of the other relievers are on this team.

Comparitively, has Patton been as bad as Guzman or Cotts?

I mean, he gave up a solo shot - but he has never pitched at this level - or close. He at least throws strikes. It seems as if he's around the plate more - from behind the plate at the park, it seemed like he had more movement and more velocity than any of the other relievers today. It was really cool to hear the catcher's glove poppin' anyway...

I've designed a t-shirt in the spirit of the discussion from the comments of the last blog entry. A discussion, by the way, that I would rather add levity to than revive on a new thread.

My brother does screen printing, maybe he could print one of these up for my next Cub outing.

Might want to toss in an apostrophe, unless you're going for some irony.

You could do a Card one too with "I'm With Moran".

Ugh... Insomnia tonight...

From CBS Sports Power Rankings, #29, Washington Nationals...
Lastings Milledge is a centerfielder like a dog is an iguana. ... By the time we reach the end of 2009, we might regard the Nats' pitching staff as some kind of frothing goat-mongoose hybrid sent up from the depths of hell to disgust us with its impertinence. ... Any day the Nats take Elijah Dukes out of the lineup is one on which they have a smaller chance of winning. If there's an even half-sane rationale for sitting him, I'd love to hear it.

Ha...

Oh lordy, some of these are great...

On the Giants...
Randy Johnson's fastball has officially been downgraded from "scary" to "soothing." ... The hitters haven't drawn a walk since Friday, which is almost impossible. ... The worst part about the liner off Mike Cameron's bat that connected with Joe Martinez's head was the muffled sound it made upon contact. ... Relax, Tim Lincecum will start throwing his heater again next time out.

"Soothing"... lol

Randy Johnson's fastball has officially been downgraded from "scary" to "soothing."

wow...that is good.

some of his other jokes are recycled from elsewhere or just stuff kicking around anyone could have come up with, but a good read on whole.

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