We Have a Winner

In a close vote to decide the Official1 TCR Nickname for our Middle Infielders, we can now announce that with 100% of the 66 votes counted, the winner is....

The Scrap Pack

The Scrap Pack beat The Tiger Cubs2 for the honor, and congratulations to all the other worthy suggestions as well.

Among the many virtues of The Scrap Pack are:

  • It rhymes
    • ok, fine, it doesn't.  Me flunk 2nd grad Inglish.
      • Ok, it has "internal rhyme."  I never got that far in English.
  • It's short
  • It has assonance
  • It has a sharp, staccato sort of meter to it
  • It alludes to a bunch of iconic womanizing singing drunkards with ties to the Las Vegas Mafia from the 1960s, who later went on to star in all-time classic movies like The Cannonball Run II.  
  • It is expandable: if necessary it could incorporate Reed Johnson, Aaron Miles and others.
  • Its origin is shrouded in TCR mystery and lore.  CT_Steve mentioned that he recalled seering someone use the nickname in Parachat, but we don't know who.

And most importantly....

  • If they wind up stinking up the field, we can always claim that the "S" is silent.

1 "Official" in the sense that part of my contract to begin writing for Ruz, years ago, included several legal prerogatives, including but not limited to the right to print Letters of Marque and to be keeper of The Official Seal of TCR.  I'm inferring from those prerogatives that I also have the right to declare things "official."

2 Yes, I just made an animal abuse pun.  I'm sorry.



Scrap Pack

For all its many virtues, I don't think it rhymes.

Heh.  I presently am designing final exams for college kids, and I don't remember what it means to rhyme.  What do the kids say these days?  Oh yeah, FAIL.

 Thanks for the catch there, I've updated the post.

I am still trying to figure out how Love & Rockets rhymed 'you' with 'you-ooh-ooh'.

Each person seems to have a different threshold for what 'rhymes' . The average rapper, for instance, wouldn't have any problem with rhyming those two words.

Yeah, I'm calling it a "rhyme," again. When me, Real Neal and "the average rapper" all agree, you know it must be correct.


And that's four consecutive comments by me relating to what counts as a rhyme.  I'll stop, now.  But god, I'd love to see a flame-war break out over poetry....  Come on, guys...

Trans, you ignorant slut, stand by your call! If it sounds like a rhyme to you, it's a rhyme! At the very least that is a slant rhyme; both words have the same short "A" sound on a stressed syllable and end with hard, aspirated consonants. Grow some balls.

And, fuck man, how did you miss the opportunity to note the consonance in "sCrap paCK"? Combine the consonance with the repeated short "A" sound and the fact that "Scrap Pack" contains only two syllables, both with heavy stresses—a spondee (sorry, didn't mean to patronize you all)—and you've got a very punchy nickname. Too bad you don't have any punch, Trans, or none of this would be necessary—you would've just verbally bitch slapped Navigator.

Oh, I wouldn't say it rhymes.

I was playing a drinking game Saturday, where you had to 'bust a rhyme' - rhyme a word with one that someone else had said or drink. I was bothered when someone rhymed 'time' with 'line'.

I am probably wrong, but it feels to me like just another symptom of the dumbing down of America and the English language.

It depends on your purposes, I think. For the purposes of modern English language poetry, full rhyme has limited use, since English is a rhyme poor language and the tradition of rhyming is really borrowed from Italian and other, older poetic traditions that, while they have their own merits, have a different word bank and syntactic system to work with than do English poets. For the purposes of a drinking game, I wouldn't consider participants' definition of rhyme the primary symptom of the dumbing down of America.

Charlies post # 14 is my candidate for Post Of The Year.

I can't decide which is more embarrassing: that you were playing a drinking game in which you had to rhyme words, or that you were playing a drinking game.

Yeah it was an afternoon of 'man, being a frat daddy was cool, let's try that again'.

However, drinking games can be fun. Canned drinking games make me feel like I am borrowing someone else's life.

Ha ha. It has assonance.

A rather pronouced, impressive assonance....

Another way of saying it has assonance is "it gets the rhyme wrong."

Or, rap is crap rhyming. And hip-hop is not tip-top two-timing.

It's got junk in the trunk?

In a prosodic, poetic, and very real, sense it does rhyme - internally rather than at the end is all.

Ok, that's it, we're saying it rhymes.  Phew, I'm out of my league here.

I like it. But then, what is the penalty if someone were to use, say, The Oui Men instead of The Scrap Pack?

The original post said the penalty was "pain of death" or season-tickets to the Pirates.

I think I'll go with Pepper Spray and Theriot. Pseudo-rhyming is cool and all that, but anytime you can work four puns into one nickname, that gets my vote. Do I have to pay for the season tickets?

Y'all'll be sorry when I'm a thousandaire from selling t-shirts of Font and Riot-lookalike tiger cubs saying "grr" in a text bubble to drunk white girls in Lakeview. The way I figure, I'll make enough money to either go to a game at Wrigley or buy a house near the Cell.

Congrats to Scrap Packers.

i'm calling the nickname and the players "The Crap Pack"

yeah, i went there.

Chad, don't badmouth those young Cubbies. You must be one of those Cubs fan who don't actually like anything about the team....DAMN YOU!!!!

Manny, you know I'm the TCR rebel blacksheep and you know I calls them likes i sees them.

I refuse to drink the RobG. kook aid!

There's RobG kool aid? What does it taste like?

(this should be entertaining)

i don't know as i already stated that i refuse to drink it.

But since you went to maine east and then marquette, i would assume it takes like MGD mixed with Drakkar Noir. With a slight hint of sausage.

"it takes like MGD mixed with Drakkar Noir. With a slight hint of sausage."

Nicely done.

This is exactly why Democracy is a failure. Never let people vote for things. Scrap Pack is pretty stupid. Its not really even funny. It doesnt even pass the "hey, thats not a dumb cliche" test. I think that the writers here could have come up with something better and come to a consensus over a couple of beers and a Vienna Beef dog at Murphy's.


At least there is parachat.


Communists get to vote.

Ha! Yeah, that's stupid. At least there's parachat. "In my pants" humor anyone?

I propose the Cubs trade Jake Fox for this guy.

It was me who came up with that, for the record. Any criticism of my hilarious creation will refuted with insults of your sexual preference. Proceed with caution.

Yeah, well I don't like it at all.

What are you going to do about it? hmmm....call me gay?

Yes. You're gay.

The other problem with it, is that it will be too easy for other teams' fans to make fun of the T-Shirt. "what is that, 'crap pack'? Is that like a colostomy bag?".

term has already been coined by me.

nice try, Trans already noted it in the post...

don't see it.


Focus on the most important part. It may come to you.

work your way from the bottom up, look for the bullet point.

don't see it don't care


You can have colostomy bag.

Levine says that Lee's neck and back issues a bigger culprit in his decline, along with his refusal to sit.

Although most people point to the broken wrist Lee suffered in 2006 as the reason he doesn't hit with as much power, the real reasons are his back and neck woes from a home-plate collision after the wrist injury.


Interesting in that pitch selection has nothing to do with Lee's problems with grounding to short.

Also, Levine is happy to take another needless shot at Bradley. So far, Bradley is winning the 'media is out to get me' debate.

Well partially it does, but those pitches that he now hits weakly to second for double plays used to be doubles in the right-center power alley. He can't quite extend with power to the outer part of the plate like he used to.

I see your argument, though. If you can't do hit that pitch anymore, quit fucking swinging at it.

Yes, or move closer to the plate, or go back to your old hitting stance if this one, which seems to contort the back more is giving you problems.

Personally, AZ PHIL has mentioned that HOFF is "Gold Glove Caliber" at 1st B, and hits for power - something DLEE is just not doing well right now.

It would not be so bad if The Hoff gets a few more starts at 1B.

I would be all for a straight platoon. Some time during the offseason I predicted that they'd be platooning by the end of the year.

I just don't feel, that in his 60's, Lou will put a career minor leaguer (even though performing well) in a platoon situation with a former MVP and All Star.

hoff's lack of K'ing is getting increasingly interesting as far as what kind of player he can be.

sure, he's not exactly picking his pitches even though he's got some walks...he's hacking...he's just not missing as much.

that said...yeah, it's probably dlee's job to lose and it's probably not going to happen in early May unless he goes on a hell of a down-turn.

former MVP?

"Unfortunately for Lee there's no remedy for a bulging disc and upper-neck and back pain. The only thing Lee can do is ask out of the lineup and wait for it to subside, which he refuses to do. [ ] That type of philosophy has hurt Lee as he's not the offensive player he was prior to the injury."

[ ]

"And although I don't know the extent of the injury to Bradley (strained right groin), he should probably pay attention to Lee's work ethic."

I am confused. Is he saying Bradley should play even through his doing so would make him a poorer player, or does he think that Bradley should stay on the bench until he is fully healed?

I think he was saying, I wanted to take a shot at Bradley in some way.

He's saying that he likes cake and he likes to eat it, too.

In the meantime, Ramirez and Soto, get free passes.

will start tomorrow for Padres...


When do we learn the DFA/Vizcaino aftermath? Will we get anything back for this move? (besides an empty roster spot?)

10 days from last Thursday, so I think by this coming Saturday they have to make a decision.

Thanks, Rob. Have any guesses about what comes back? (just for fun)

an empty roster spot....

...stupid 10pm EST games....well, 9:40, but whatever...

Has Wittenmyer "tweeted" the line-up for the game tonight?

cst_cubs: Lineup: sori, riot, fuky, rejo, hoff, soto, font, miles, lilly.

2-man bench tonight, Z is on Lou's card as an extra hitter.

reed johnson hitting 4th and soriano leads off...okay. okay...

Awesome. I feel like Rejo's going DEEP tonight, fellas. DEEP!

Reed Johnson batting 4th? Oh brother...

no no no no no

YOU of all people don't get to complain about batting order. you are the one who loves to site James' and his dis-belief that liineup order matters.


I think even Bill James would laugh at that lineup last night. If the Cubs can't field anyone better than Reed Johnson in the #4 hole, they are in deep trouble.

Marmol available Tuesday according to Wittenmyer...

Geez - why not Soto 8th? Or, a start for Hill. He is in an outrageous slump.

"Scrap Pack" is the Jose Vizcaino of nicknames. Serviceable but bland.

"Scrappy Deux" (without the extra "-ot" mind you) is easily superior, working on more levels with surprising effect--the Doug Dascenzo of nicknames.

Wither "Tiger Cubs," the clear champion of the three, full of promise but potentially diminishing with increased exposure, no doubt the Gary Scott of nicknames.

this is by far the Kevin Orie of posts.

Recent comments

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  • Oh what do you know, Cubster? Go back to your day job.

    --- Ducks, puts on Cardinals cap, runs.

  • Russell had a severe hamstring last year while with the A's system, forcing him to miss the first half of 2014. I've even wondered if his injury last year was a component of Billy Beane putting him on the trade market. He was quoted saying that last year's injury was a 10 out of 10 when it happened. Last night he said his hamstring soreness was a 1/1.5 out of 10. Hamstring injuries are tricky though, so I'd expect the medical team to be overly cautious here.

  • ...I want to reinforce the observation that there was no sea of red in the crowd. The usual Cardinal fans roaming the stadium were few and far between.

    Also, almost every 2 strike pitch brought the fans to their feet. Good for those in knee rehab.

  • "1st team hit hit 6HR in a game in the postseason." rises above obvious...i checked it with the official fact-finding commission of Douche, Douche, and Douchestein. they agreed with you, but they're a bunch of f'n douches so who cares?

    btw, the cubs are 2-1 in the post-season series.

  • I should be able to watch the game on the NFL replay app, whatever that thing is called. I've got it on my iPad. This is the first year I haven't forced myself to somehow watch every game - no I take that back, last year was - in quite some time. Last year was so unbearable, no pun intended.

    You make some good points about Cutler, and I was a holdout defender of Cutler for a long time. I gave up on him a bit after one too many dumb interceptions, but last year doesn't count. Trestman was the worst coach in Bears history.

  • Nice little reportage there!. I think you're older than me. Considerably older. Maybe several generations. Working out is so essential, especially as age kicks in, isn't it? I still lift weights, and so I'm confident that when I get to be at the hip breaking age, mine won't be a statistic. But I have a ways to go for that to be a concern.

  • What was impressive to me is that the Cubs won despite poor base running, several defensive miscues, Russell leaving due to injury, Arrieta having an off game and getting knocked out early, and Rondon giving up 2 runs in the 9th. If they can win a game like that... 

  • I was there too. The crowd was absolutely electric. People were standing for every big and semi-big moment, from the first inning on. It felt incredibly strange and exhilarating to see the Cubs (the Chicago bleepin' Cubs!) score playoff insurance runs on the Cardinals. What a game. One to remember.

  • 14 in attendance. What's the record for attendance in the fall? I guess I should ask what the record attendance listed is in one of your recaps.

  • I was there too, with my grown son. This is my miracle year-- I rose to the top of the season ticket list after eight years, completely unexpectedly, and my wonderful wife agreed to put the ticket fee on the emergency credit card. The whole point of course was that the Cubs were going to be good this year, and then for a while, so to get season tickets with the guaranteed shot at the postseason was incredible timing. We got to the remote lot at 4:10 after stopping at Nhu Lan for our usual banh mi sandwiches, only to find the lot full, way earlier than normal.

  • Wrigley was electric tonite
    Not many card fans
    Video board was great, they played "there goes my hero" by foos over ryno highlights before he came out. Spectacular

    Good times hopefully they win tomorrow but think Lester will beat poopy pants on Wednesday.

    Happy 4th anniversary of Theo's signing

    Go Cubs !

  • Yeah. "Goodbye!" is a lame HR call.

    I miss Len and JD -- although, driving home from a friend's, WBBM played all 6 HR calls in a row -- and Len got to call the Bryant/Rizzo back-to-back. Very fun.

  • Lackey has been a beast against us. His stats on 3 days rest, however, not as nice. There is plenty of hope.

  • And, no dreadlocks grown yet.

  • Captain Obvious Strikes Again!!!

  • Amen, brother.