But sometimes in the depths of semi-disaster, one can find inspiration.
This is a new product I figure would sell like hot cakes.
New Cubs Hurl Sacks®.
You know that queasy feeling you get watching the Cubs, and it's ohh, say the
7th and they're clinging to a tiny lead and in comes, well...any one of the Cubs relievers.
Wouldn't it be great to have a Kleenex-sized box of barf bags at the ready, on the side table right next to your frosty cold one?
"Wow" says Bob Brenly, "Marmol is missing the plate by SIX INCHES."
"Ball three." says Len.
Right about now you could just pull out a handy Hurl Sack®, open her up and start gagging.
"He walked him and the bases are loaded."
"Lou's gonna visit the mound."
"He's calling for Aaron Heilman."
"No, wait. He wants Gregg."
And finally, you know, just let it rip.
Toss your Cracker Jacks.
All without ever leaving the comfort of your couch!
All without any mess!
Plus, I guess you could do Yankee Hurl Sacks® or Padre Hurl Sacks® - any team would work.
Man, this is seriously a good idea.
Scott Boras, if you're reading this, gimme a call.
I think I'm gonna need an agent.
Tim Souers is the illustrator and author of Cubby Blue and appreciates the opportunity to guest blog here at The Cub Reporter.
Cards and Pirates lose. I'm OK with that.
I'm ready for the end of the Miggy era.
he juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuust got there...1st appearance, injury...yow
b.matusz it is.
Oops. Colin Rea leaves the game with injury.
Cubs optioned Justin Grimm to Iowa after the game. No corresponding roster move announced yet, but it could be Brian Matusz.
Marlins with a quick 4 spot vs Jaime Garcia. Osuna HR the highlight.
Brian Matusz, supposedly he has attachments. Hope it's not like an email with a virus attached.
One thing to remember about Chapman -- he can be magic, but his ERA is higher than Rondon's this year. 100+ mph is fun, but I'd love to see a few more sliders. I think he enjoys the crowd reaction from 103 mph.
"Diamondbacks designated RHP Josh Collmenter for assignment."
aww...he was my 2nd favorite crapballer. his control issues are rather severe at the moment.
Wow -- Chapman gives up a hit and everything completely caves in. I think the Cubs went into collective shock.
Stolen base with the pitcher holding the ball, WP that should have been caught or blocked, then Russell with a 2-out error on a routine play. Cubs handed them 2 runs. Throw in a Fowler bobble and it was a mess.
Hopefully, that is all out of their system now -- let's get a W tomorrow.
First time I've ever seen a base running slump -- he's made some poor decisions recently, but I thought it was a great idea to try to score there -- it's not like Heyward was going to get a 2-out hit against a LHP. Sliding feet-first into home is probably the safe (ugh) way to go, but it's hard to get the foot on the plate.
Yup. He got squeezed (twice) on the first walk, but, when you have one-run lead and the other team is trying to make an out -- take the out.
Clearly the Cubs need to clear out the farm and trade for another closer
Where's Ed Lynch when you need him?