But sometimes in the depths of semi-disaster, one can find inspiration.
This is a new product I figure would sell like hot cakes.
New Cubs Hurl Sacks®.
You know that queasy feeling you get watching the Cubs, and it's ohh, say the
7th and they're clinging to a tiny lead and in comes, well...any one of the Cubs relievers.
Wouldn't it be great to have a Kleenex-sized box of barf bags at the ready, on the side table right next to your frosty cold one?
"Wow" says Bob Brenly, "Marmol is missing the plate by SIX INCHES."
"Ball three." says Len.
Right about now you could just pull out a handy Hurl Sack®, open her up and start gagging.
"He walked him and the bases are loaded."
"Lou's gonna visit the mound."
"He's calling for Aaron Heilman."
"No, wait. He wants Gregg."
And finally, you know, just let it rip.
Toss your Cracker Jacks.
All without ever leaving the comfort of your couch!
All without any mess!
Plus, I guess you could do Yankee Hurl Sacks® or Padre Hurl Sacks® - any team would work.
Man, this is seriously a good idea.
Scott Boras, if you're reading this, gimme a call.
I think I'm gonna need an agent.
Tim Souers is the illustrator and author of Cubby Blue and appreciates the opportunity to guest blog here at The Cub Reporter.
I've been pretty harsh with Lester here at various times but that's how it is when you pull in that kind of money, and besides, it's not like he reads my posts or would care what I have to say if he did read them for some reason. If I was him, the first thing out of my mouth would be, what level have you played this game at, pal?
Anyway, he's really looked good lately, and overall his body of work turned out pretty good, too. I'm glad his worst struggles were in April. This is such an easy team to like that I even like the overpaid free agent.
Gordo's lede today:
ST. LOUIS – Whether it’s a year early or right on time, Jon Lester’s $155 million moment arrives just after 5:45 p.m. Friday.
*checks pulse again*
Who are you? Andy Rooney?
Colbert has our backs
K-DUB: I get a chance to see the other MLB clubs Player Development operations out here and I have talked to scouts and other baseball people about it, and I can tell you that the Cubs Player Development program has gone from being almost a joke to one of THE best.
how did ej martinez go from asking for $10m, to supposedly mulling over $7m offers, to eventually signing for $3m?
...and what happened with him and the giants a few days ago?
Its not official until AZ Phil adds him to the Cubs Depth Chart!
Just freakin love it!
From Keith Law:
This from a Kiley McDaniel chat a couple weeks ago...
"Comment From Wrenzie
Who has more ceiling between Yusniel Diaz or Eddy Julio Martinez?
Kiley McDaniel: Martinez. I have Eddy (20 years old) as a 65 runner with a 55 arm and 50 raw power that profiles as an everyday CF that could be above average depending on if the bat is a 45 or a 55. I have Yusniel (19) as a 60 runner with a 55 arm and 40 raw power that can be an everyday guy if he hits enough (50 or 55)."
"Per Jesse Sanchez at mlb.com, Cubs reportedly have signed 20-year old Cuban OF Eddy Julio Martinez for $3M bonus.
Arizona Phil 7 hours 23 min ago"
it's day old news, and it's got nothing to do with the cubs, but ichiro signed a $2m deal with MIA (with a $2m option for 2017).
neat. 41 years old and damn close to 3000 hits.
also, rain delays suck.
take that giants
I think that if a team objects to the 1-game wildcard playin game so much, they could just win the pennant and avoid themselves the trouble.
Per Jesse Sanchez at mlb.com, Cubs reportedly have signed 20-year old Cuban OF Eddy Julio Martinez for $3M bonus.