But sometimes in the depths of semi-disaster, one can find inspiration.
This is a new product I figure would sell like hot cakes.
New Cubs Hurl Sacks®.
You know that queasy feeling you get watching the Cubs, and it's ohh, say the
7th and they're clinging to a tiny lead and in comes, well...any one of the Cubs relievers.
Wouldn't it be great to have a Kleenex-sized box of barf bags at the ready, on the side table right next to your frosty cold one?
"Wow" says Bob Brenly, "Marmol is missing the plate by SIX INCHES."
"Ball three." says Len.
Right about now you could just pull out a handy Hurl Sack®, open her up and start gagging.
"He walked him and the bases are loaded."
"Lou's gonna visit the mound."
"He's calling for Aaron Heilman."
"No, wait. He wants Gregg."
And finally, you know, just let it rip.
Toss your Cracker Jacks.
All without ever leaving the comfort of your couch!
All without any mess!
Plus, I guess you could do Yankee Hurl Sacks® or Padre Hurl Sacks® - any team would work.
Man, this is seriously a good idea.
Scott Boras, if you're reading this, gimme a call.
I think I'm gonna need an agent.
Tim Souers is the illustrator and author of Cubby Blue and appreciates the opportunity to guest blog here at The Cub Reporter.
I love winning! It's, like, better than losing?
You lollygag the ball around the infield. You lollygag your way down to first. You lollygag in and out of the dugout. You know what that makes you? Larry!
Its too bad Warren didnt get to pitch. He would have saved us.
Whoa -- that Contreras play in the 8th looked too much like a "Schwarber" -- nearly crashed into the wall going full speed, with Heyward doing the same.
New rule: if you are a catcher playing LF, and find yourself sprinting after a fly ball in the gap -- stop, let the CF go after it and get ready to play it off the wall.
Cubs have no spark and no life. Pretty boring to watch these days.
I thought trips to Miami were supposed to be fun. This one sucked.
The bottom half of the bullpen now turns close games into blowout losses. Not good.
Once Fowler went to the DL, the team went into the tank. Wonder if he'll get any love this offseason? Probably not.
6IP, 2ER. The last one scored because of another botched Zobrist DP turn.
And now, a bad throw by KB. Sloppy.
What is it with Hammel always starting well and sucking after a couple months?
Ahhh...sad. Lke a few of you here, I saw him play during the '69-'71 seasons. He was the "hot Zobrist" for the club in August/September of '69 while everyone else was fizzling out...
I predict: "They will play hard and if they give the same effort every day, they'll win a lot of games."
OK, boys -- find a way to win today.
There's some BA is missing too, here's all signing bonus BA doesn't have some:
-6 Hockin $241,000 (slot price), 7 Cruz $75,000 (saved $110,00), 8 Ridlings $120,000 (saved $53,800), 9 Robinson $30,000 (saved $132,300), so far the Cubs have saved an extra $297,100
Zobrist (2B), Hayward (CF), Bryant (3B), Rizzo, Contreras (LF), Montero, Russell, Coghlan (RF), Hammel
Also -- despite losing 6 of their last 10, the Cubs picked up a game on both STL and PIT during that period. Weird, given that they swept PIT and were swept by STL.
Also, I'd like to know if there are numbers to back up my suspicion that there are a lot more fast starts than late June romps. This seems like a time where everybody not named Willson Contreras is looking a little tired and/or banged up a bit.
For once, the Cubs got off to a fast start. Seems like I've been waiting for that for 50 years.Everybody is really gunning for this team, too. It's their playoffs.