Top 10 Most Embarrassing Things About the Cubs

Please feel free to add or make up your own.

Here's my attempt:

#10: It turns out Geovany Soto's rotund shape came from a bad case of the munchies.

#9: Back to back sweeps in St. Louis and...San Diego (May 19 - 24).

#8: Taking out frustrations on a defenseless Gatorade dispenser.

#7: The "Exhibition" Games at the new Yankee Stadium, where the Cubs lost by a combined score of 5 to 17 in the two games.

#6: Getting more left handed.

#5: "Captain Morgan Club" - you just have to hope that the team really got alot of cash from that booze company to put that sign up at Wrigley Field. I can't even walk in there because the name is so embarassing.

#4: Aaron Miles. You can't even say "scrappy" about this guy.

#3: This thinking: "well, it's okay that the Cubs lost because so did St. Louis, Milwaukee, and Cincinnati." EMBARASSING!

#2: The absolute lack of clutch hitting, and how the loss of one bat (Aramis) completely ruined an entire, expensive, professional, veteran line-up.

#1: Milton Bradley - from bumping the ump in his first game to tossing the ball into the bleachers with only two outs (Milton's Boner) - there isn't alot about Milton that isn't excruciatingly embarrassing.

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Submitted by CubbyBlue on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 11:51am
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Comments

Submitted by Rob G.
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 12:14pm

http://www.suntimes.com/sports/baseball/cubs/16402...

There was some concern that Bradley was sitting because of a sore
left wrist suffered while diving for a ball Wednesday night, but
Piniella stressed the wrist was not the issue.

''That had nothing to do with the tumble, believe me,'' Piniella
said of Bradley's name missing from his lineup. ''He's just not playing
today. Just call it a day off.''

Joshua thinks he's identified why he's struggling against right-handers...

Stat fun...

.687 OPS vs righties, .890 vs. lefties on the season

.627, .787, .760 OPS by month

231/500/385 last 7 days

313/463/406 last 14 days

at least he's walking...speaking of benching, when is Soriano's turn?

 

Submitted by The Real Neal
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 12:29pm

Bradley and Fukudome literally must have swung through 100 fastballs over the last month. Every time I think Fukudome's goose is cooked he lines a couple of gappers like yesterday, but anyone who throws him something other than a 93+ MPH fastball for a strike right now should get his head checked.

"speaking of benching, when is Soriano's turn?"

For all the no nonsense talk that surrounds Piniella's managerial reputation, he seems to be giving differential treatment to the 'superstars' just like Dusty Baylor did. Punch your catcher? Fine we trade the catcher. Have maybe the worst ISO OBP ever from a leadoff man? Fine, have 60 more at bats.

Submitted by OakLawnGuy
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 1:16pm

Lou seems convinced that if Soriano does not hit, the Cubs do not win. He's said as much over the last couple of weeks. As such, a lineup without him at the top is anathema. Or insanity, depending how you look at it.

Submitted by MikeC
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 2:12pm

There is a major difference between Bradley and Soriano. Soriano knows what it takes to hit over a full season. Bradley is a glorified pinch hitter, a part time player, a player not suited to everyday play, a player best used on a limited basis.

We signed a platoon player/DH for 30 million. Did you honestly expect him to drive in 100 RBI? When his max was 77?

His 16 RBI is on pace for a 44 RBI season. He might be able to beat out a Neifi "Saved Us" season, thats if he goes on a major hitting rampage.

Ryan Theriot has more HR, RBI, and Runs than Bradley. Granted he has more AB's, but you can't be productive sitting out games either.

Its June 26th and having 16 RBI is pathetic. Maybe he can reach 20 RBI by the All-Star break.

Submitted by The Real Neal
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 12:31pm

I was going to say that having CubbyBlue adds a lot of class to the site, but then there's that flabby butt in front of me, so class isn't the right word. 'Character' maybe? Is he a good clubhouse presence?

Either way, he's definitely a major coup for TCR.

Submitted by Ryno
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 1:31pm

lol, you're worried about "class" only a few days after seeing a photoshopped picture of Kevin Gregg with a bloody knife in the back of his head? (That entry & photo, btw, was gloriously outrageous and underrated.)

Submitted by Rob G.
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 1:34pm

I like Tim's stuff, if for no other reason that it's something different in this whitewashed Cubs blogosphere of "my opinions are so much fucking better than yours, I'm such a better Cubs fan than you" that seems to prevail for the rest of them.

And the artwork is good.

Submitted by The Real Neal
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 12:39pm

In something mostly unrelated: I think Hoffpauir has looked pretty good in right field this season.

Submitted by Rob G.
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 12:48pm

by good, I assume you mean not terrible...

funny what lowered expectations do to our evaluation of players...

Submitted by The Real Neal
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 1:10pm

Well, maybe Average is the word that I'd use. He's gotten to a couple of balls that I was sure were going to be doubles.

Submitted by Ryno
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 1:10pm

We do the best with what we have, Rob G!

Submitted by rokfish
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 1:19pm

can that guy play second base?

Submitted by Rob G.
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 1:23pm

Bradley, Theriot, Lee, Hoffpauir(DH), Fox(3B), Soto, Fontenot(2b), Soriano, Fukudome...

and then I woke up...

sori, fuky, milt, lee, hoff (dh), fox (3b), font (2b), soto, blanco(SS). (via Wittenmyer)

so much for the "benching"...

Submitted by Ryno
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 1:27pm

You know what I think? This is totally me making things up, but it sounded like Lou wanted to bench MB and didn't want to talk about why. I think maybe there was some insubordination or some sort of locker room issue. Lou threatening to bench MB was maybe his way of kicking him in the butt?

Total speculation I know, but hey, we do the best with what we have.

Submitted by WISCGRAD
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 1:39pm

I was thinking the same thing. Nothing to base it on, but things seemed odd, and it is Bradley. Maybe he didn't run something out or something and Lou sat him for a game.

Submitted by Ryno
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 1:52pm

If that's the case they must have made up, because he's in the lineup.

Submitted by MikeVail
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 3:36pm

I'm more concerned about Fontenot being in there. At this point, I think even Miles could do better, although I know he's hurt now.

Submitted by Rob G.
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 1:27pm

saw this on the White Sox executive that has a blog...

http://www.ticketmaster.com/event/040042349A4429A8

A very limited number of tickets to TODAY's Cubs-Sox game just became available (These are turnbacks). Click here to take advantage of this special offer for Sox fans on this blog and twitter:

So hopefully the Cubs fans can buy them all out...

Submitted by The Real Neal
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 1:42pm

I knew you were a closet Sox fan!

Submitted by Rob G.
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 1:44pm

Know thy enemy.

Submitted by Cubster
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 1:44pm

I think Hoffpauir has looked pretty good in right field this season.
---
regarding Rob's picture of Hoffpauir in the featured TCR area...

how did he get away with having an extra ball velcro'd to the side of his shirt? Is this a variation on the hidden ball trick? Obviously, the game ball is in his glove.

Submitted by VirginiaPhil
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 1:44pm

Someone should give a shout-out to Mitch Atkins for taking a no-hitter into the eighth yesterday.

The box score says 7.1 innings, 3 runs, 3 hits, but that doesn't tell you that Dubois lost a ball in the lights or that 2 of the 4 runs in that 8th inning came with Justin Berg on the hill.

The Cubs tied it in the 9th and won in the 10th on hits by Fuld, Taguchi, Clevenger and Camp. Camp hit the walkoff double.

Submitted by Rob G.
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 1:58pm

Good for Mitch "Average" Atkins...got that ERA down to 6.62. Berg's been decent since returning from the DL (ERA-wise), but not sure a walk-happy, groundball specialist is the way to get out of a jam.

Fuld's had a great June (427/489/547).

Gaub got promoted yesterday to Tripe A to join James Russell and JR Mathes as the  lefties in Iowa. Gaub had a 12.55 K/9 rate in AA. I think he's a keeper.

Russell's pulling a Samardzija. 5.11 ERA in Double A got him a promotion and he's got a 1.88 ERA now at Iowa in 14.1 IP. I'll give Russell a break because he's just 23, but strikeout rates are low and he seems to be a flyball pitcher...so he's got some work to do.

Mathes has a 3.41 ERA in Iowa. How the hell he's managed that with a 3.27 K/9 rate is unbelievable. At least he keeps the ball on the ground.

Submitted by ddp33
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 3:38pm

Sam Fuld also made an insane diving catch to preserve Atins' no hitter in the 6th inning... You can check it out on the recap of the story on the I-Cubs website - it's linked right under where you find the box score...

Submitted by VirginiaPhil
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 5:02pm

Atkins has a decent K/9 rate of 7.7.

His last four starts, in 26.1 innings he has given up 20 hits and 8 earned runs, with 4 walks and 19 Ks. Three of those 8 ERs were in the 8th inning yesterday, to some extent "caused" by the no-hitter, since he wouldn't normally pitch the 8th; and then there was the missed fly ball and the poor relief pitching.

I think he's still interesting. We'll see.

Submitted by Cubster
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 1:53pm

The Cubs tied it in the 9th...
---
So Taguchi?

He's probably our only hope of getting us to the WS.

Lou needs to consider Komainu Lion-Dogs, Shinto-Omamori charms and So.

Submitted by Cubster
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 2:14pm

Maybe he can reach 20 RBI by the All-Star break.
---
and Bradley walks to load the bases.

Nope.

Submitted by granolaCUB
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 2:27pm

My top 10 (in no particular order or degree of embarrassment):

10: Soto has more hits after the game than during.

9: True Story - I go to the local sandwich shop today to grab lunch for the wife and me - the lady notices my cubs lid and says, "your total is the $19.08, hmmm the last time the Cubs won the series." She winked and showed me she was wearing a Cardinals shirt underneath her work shirt.

8: We actually signed Milton Bradley.

7: Sosa comes out in the wash.

6: Gregg said even he could have hit his Effus pitch out for a homer

5: Miles, Scales, Blanco, Bradley and Fontenot's RBI total = 60; De Rosa's RBI total = 50

4: They are in danger of being psychologically eliminated from post-season play

3: We just found out that our leadoff man has a "no bench" clause in his contract.

2: Lou stands by his firm belief that "Hey, I don't know what to tell ya, ha ha, I mean ..."

1: The Blackhawks won a first round playoff series before we did.

Submitted by Paul Noce
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 2:57pm

Did you shank that woman who sold you lunch?

Submitted by granolaCUB
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 3:05pm

I had no response other than a laugh and then I ran outside and put my sunglasses on so nobody could see me tear up.

Submitted by Ahone Ahtwo Ahthree
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 2:34pm

All I can say about the photo is that crack kills - stay away from it...

I have this jingle in my head... "I was going to play in the WBC, and then I got high, then I got high..."

Submitted by Ryno
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 2:48pm

Zambrano should chillax with Soto. Might take the "edge" off.

Submitted by Ryno
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 2:53pm

From a deadspin.com commenter:

Chamomiles Davis, 5:45 PM on Thu Jun 25 2009
You can't blame Soto. I had to smoke weed just to watch the WBC.

Hahah...

Submitted by Rob G.
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 2:54pm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTLECpYf3wc&feature...

Submitted by Paul Noce
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 2:56pm

Interesting, Bob Brenly was just on Comcast sports net here in Chicago and said if his son Michael makes it to the majors with the Cubs, Bob will likely quit as an announcer. He said he doesn't want to have to criticize his son and he doesn't want to take it easy on him and not do his job when he struggles, so he would rather not announce.

Submitted by Rob G.
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 3:02pm

thanks Dad, you just guaranteed I wouldn't get called up.

Submitted by granolaCUB
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 3:07pm

too bad Len's son isn't playing baseball

Submitted by The Real Neal
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 4:07pm

Or Hawk Harrelson's

Submitted by Cubster
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 2:59pm

Zambrano should chillax with Soto.
---
trying to make them look like Rick and Paul Reuschel's latin cousins?

Submitted by Mike Vail
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 3:25pm

1) The douchey people who wander around Wrigley; holding their cellphones or worse, wearing a bluetooth, waving at the cameras, paying no attention to the game. The rest of the baseball universe considers these people Cubs fans. I get tired of telling them otherwise.
2)The national media's stereotype of the Cubs (check the records, lazy asswipes).
3)Their historic inability to show discipline at the plate. I knew last year was an anomoly I savored.
4)They dominate blooper highlight reels: either giving up a huge homerun or fielding antics.
5)the scouts
6)Bad Daddies/owners
7)Neverending dick-related commercials
8)Our so-called "mascots" woo woo
9)trading away our best young players (Maddux)
10)lack of mental toughness;crumble at the slightest obstacle

Submitted by The Real Neal
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 4:10pm

Wasn't Maddux like 39 when we traded him?

Submitted by Jace
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 3:34pm

I am tracking the game on Gameday, and every time a Cub gets out, I can just hear Hawk saying "He Gone!". I am really getting pissed off by him, and I can't even hear him...

Submitted by The Joe
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 3:35pm

1) 2009
2) 2008
3) 2007
4) 2006
5) 2005
6) 2004
7) 2003
8) 2002
9) 2001
10) 2000

...and so on.

Submitted by Rob Richardson
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 4:07pm

What is the chance that Fox remains on the team after interleague play?

Submitted by The Real Neal
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 4:12pm

At this point, pretty good. It looks like he may be trusted to play all four corner spots so even if he doesn't start he can be used as a PH or inserted in double switches.

Submitted by Chris
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 5:32pm

Trying to understand exactly why it is that he can't remain with the Cubs. He's short and fat and doesn't play the field well. So. Soriano's tall and lean and doesn't play the field well.

Submitted by Chicago Jamie
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 4:33pm

What happened with Milton Bradley?!? They were saying something about him flipping out in the dugout, but I couldn't really hear it clearly on the radio. Thanks...

Submitted by Rob G.
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 5:03pm

http://blogs.dailyherald.com/node/2195

not injury related, Lou and Bradley exchanged words.

Submitted by Chris
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 5:30pm

Wondering which contract history will judge the worst-- Bradley's or Fukudome's.

I'm guessing the former. Fucking dumb ass. I don't give a shit about his supposed hard scrabble childhood. Cash your check, shut your stupid ass mouth and play the fucking game.

Submitted by Little Nate Lewis
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 5:56pm

Fucking dumb ass. I don't give a shit about his supposed hard scrabble childhood. Cash your check, shut your stupid ass mouth and play the fucking game.

Absofuckinglutely.....

Submitted by WISCGRAD
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 5:31pm

Len and Bob just confirmed that on air - beat the gatorade machine, got into words with Lou - and also said that Bradley left the ballpark already in street clothes.

Submitted by Chris
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 5:35pm

Man oh man. The guy came just as advertised, didn't he? Maybe he's on his way up to confront Len and Bob. Man knows the way to the press box.

Submitted by Rob G.
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 5:37pm

http://blogs.chicagosports.chicagotribune.com/spor...

Bradley took out a Gatorade machine, argued with Lou and left the park.

Submitted by Paul Noce
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 5:43pm

It's time to eat his contract, whether it's a trade or just cutting him. They can't have guys leaving the park during a game, even if they are out of the game.

Submitted by jacos
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 4:34pm

Farney in RF for Bradley.

Please update.

Submitted by jacos
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 4:46pm

Pot for everybody!!!!!

Submitted by Cubster
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 5:08pm

...and Randy Wells has to once again trust Marmol/Gregg. Seems unfair.

Submitted by Tom_C
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 5:17pm

do I really need to say why? my 6 year old could've judged that ball better...

Submitted by Chris
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 5:26pm

As I watch Gregg warm up, I can't help but note that 5 runs will not be enough to win this game.

Submitted by Cubster
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 5:32pm

Bradley nut case again...

http://blogs.chicagosports.chicagotribune.com/spor... (paul sullivan)

Bradley was spotted in street clothes headed to the players' parking lot at U.S. Cellular Field, and sources confirm he has left the park.

Submitted by Chris
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 5:38pm

Milton, Milton, Milton.

Submitted by Ross_Barnes
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 5:36pm

I think it's beyond time for Marmol to spend a few weeks in Iowa and reclaim a modicum of control before he pitches again in the big leagues. Jeff Stevens is on the 40-man roster and would be a decent replacement; even better, Parker or Reinhard. With Guzman out and Heilmann's suckiness, another strikeout arm from the right side is needed right away.

Submitted by The Real Neal
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 5:44pm

Wouldn't bother me. Of course when he did what Rothschild told him to do, things started getting really bad today.

Submitted by Cubster
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 5:42pm

Win, Randy Wells, sweeeet.

Submitted by Cubster
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 5:45pm

Piniella should be extra interesting in the postgame interview. Will be on comcast.

Submitted by Paul Noce
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 5:49pm

I think it's time for Marmol to go to Iowa and work out his control problems. There's no reason to keep him up here when he walks 1-3 guys every inning.

Submitted by The Real Neal
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 5:49pm

Stone and Hawk are still whining about the strike zone in the 9th in the recap.

Submitted by Cubster
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 6:04pm

Piniella said he told Bradley to take his uniform off and go home (after he smashed a cooler), then had hot verbal interchange. Lou said he was tired of repeated temper tantrums and it was just time to put an end to this stuff (ie. tossing helmets, cooler attacks). Sounded more like it was focused on MB but I think there was some Z and others in that thought (not sure).

But he's not into discipline and may be in the lineup tomorrow.

Then says he will talk about it more tomorrow without giving much more detail.
---
just for ummm...fun, Fox in 38 AB's has almost as much impact as Bradley all year (169 AB). Fox 11 RBI, Bradley 16.

and Sean Marshall has had quite a fine week. He saved Marmol's ass (and the team's).

Submitted by Paul Noce
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 6:06pm

Will Bradley get 40rbi for the season? Even if he gets hot, stays healthy, plays 70-80 more games, he probably doesn't get to 60rbi, which is around his career average.

Ugh.

At least we won today.

Submitted by The Real Neal
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 6:03pm

Lou says that Bradley is starting tomorrow. He told him to take off his uniform and go home after he blew up, then followed him up into the hall and they cursed each other out. Said he was tired of the blowups, but he wouldn't say if it was just Bradley's blowups or everyone's. Sounded like it was Bradley's, but Lou gave the impression it was time for him to get in control of the clubhouse.

Didn't commit on Fox playing every day but said "how can you not put his name in the lineup?". Spoke well of Geo, gave Soriano a free pass on the missed flyball.

Submitted by The E-Man
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 6:08pm

Paul Noce: Eat a $20mm contact? don't think so.

Lou on CSN when asked if Jake Fox is gonna stay in the lineup said, "Put it this way: I don't know how i'm gonna keep him out of the lineup with that bat."

He said he sentBradley home. Just is not helping the team. "We'll talk more about it tomorrow."

Submitted by The Real Neal
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 6:10pm

That 'just not helping the team' wasn't in the interview I saw.

Submitted by The E-Man
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 7:45pm

Did you see quotation marks around the "team" part? They were not there.

Editor's liberty - inference based on the rest of his terse replies to the media.

The quote is verbatim, or near verbatim, which is the reason for quotation marks.

Since you are so detailed with everything, you slacked in noticing those apparently.

Submitted by The Real Neal
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 7:54pm

No, I am just trying to keep you from spreading lies.

Here's a quote:

"He said he sentBradley home. Just is not helping the team."

Even though Lou never said or implied that. Quit lying to spread your own misguided agenda, please.

Submitted by The E-Man
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 9:01pm

Do you see ANY quotations at the beginning or the end of this sentence, Mr. Anal-Retentive Detail Man?

You could use some reading skills to go with your own misguided Hyper-Sensitive Detail campaign.

Submitted by The E-Man
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 9:05pm

Two short actual quotes in this post:

"Put it this way: I don't know how i'm gonna keep him out of the lineup with that bat."

He said he sentBradley home. Just is not helping the team. "We'll talk more about it tomorrow."

That sure smacks of " ...spreading lies..." and a "misguided agenda"

You are really a trip, man.

Submitted by big_lowitzki
on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 9:29pm

FWIW, I don't come to Neal's support very often, but he is right on this one.

You implied that Lou said something very similar to "Just is not helping the team."

I listened to the presser... he said nothing of the sort.

Submitted by The Real Neal
on Sat, 06/27/2009 - 10:24am

Well, you obviously don't know what you did, so let me explain it to you.

The just not helping the team bit, you say was 'editor's inference'. You're the editor, and you're unable to have an objective opinion on Bradley, so you should try to keep that in mind when applying your rights as an 'editor'. But the truth is that he did not say that, and actually complemented Bradley on the diving catch he made. So based on a complement about a play he made in the game you inferred that Lou thought Bradley is not helping the team. This obviously is a very poor job using your editorial skills.

Now, technically the problem with what you did was this:

You've got a paraphrased statement from Lou "He sent Bradley home", and an actual statement from Lou "We'll talk more about it tomorrow" sandwiching your editorial inference. You seem offended by me calling you a liar, but the way you placed your inference would lead any reasonable person to conclude that it was another paraphrase of something Lou said, particularly in the way that you used a fragment, like you were jotting down notes. You should have, at the very least, broken it into a separate paragraph.

But your inference wasn't based on the facts of the interview (where Lou complimented Bradley on a play) anyway. Plus we all know that you're a Bradley hater and unable to be objective when it comes to him, so perhaps in the future you can just stick to the quotes and paraphrasing, and if you want to interject your opinion, make it clear that it's your opinion. For instance, "This guy just isn't helping the team."

Submitted by WISCGRAD
on Mon, 06/29/2009 - 10:44am

You seem to think that the comments section on this website is a fully copy-edited, professional publication. It is not. You clearly take a great deal of time to write out all of your stuff (see above), but most of us are just typing quickly while at work. They have punctuation and grammar mistakes, and are often not as clear as we would like them to be. They may in fact be read differently from time to time by other posters than the way we intended them to be. You can simply then make a quick note that you watched the press conference and Lou never said "he is not helping the team" (as someone else did above), at which point the original poster says "yeah, that's not in quotes, never mean to imply Lou said that." END OF STORY. We don't really need a wikipedia entry on "editor's inference" and a guide to post comments by TRN.

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