How Fast is Reed Johnson?
When you're a young guy, hair that grows in places other than your head is pretty important.
I was a freshman in football this one time when a guy named Paul Holland completely ran me over in a tackling drill.
One of the coaches screams at me, "SOUERS, YOU AIN'T GOT NO HAIR ON YOUR ASS!"
I could tell right away that hair meant huevos, balls, intestinal fortitude.
In college I decided to grow sideburns.
Grew 'em for about 3 weeks.
Wellll, on one side I had to painstakingly and artfully blend hair from my head to mix with all of maybe 14 actual sideburn hairs.
And all that blending was for naught because only 5 actual sideburn hairs grew on the other side.
Bald patch between the head hair and the 5 sideburn hairs - not good.
I cannot grow a mustache or a beard, I have no hair on my chest, and my leg hair kinda petered out in 6th grade.
Reed Johnson seems to be able to grow beards at will and overnight.
I am SO jealous.
But you never know - I may still be maturing.
Well, that hopefully took your mind off of Geovany Soto's "mild" oblique strain and the sloppy, rotten, foul-tasting 1-4 loss to the Braves yesterday.
Kevin Hart came up to take Dempster's place in the rotation.
He did okay, really.
Buncha walks, but okay.
It's these damned wimpy Cub bats.
They have no hair.
And here come the Cardinals...
A little perspective - the Phillies lead the NL with 432 runs scored, St. Louis is 6th with 377, and our favorite team is 15th with 337.
I'm sure you're aware that that's 15th out of 16.
So...not so good.
I'd put a little hair tonic on those bats, boys.
Do that thing where everybody on the team grows a beard or something.
You are going to need to score some runs in these next 4 games.
And if you do, you will have a chance to knock these guys down a peg.
And even though I don't, as a Cub fan I would at least feel like I had some hair on my ass.
Tim Souers is the illustrator and author of Cubby Blue and appreciates the opportunity to guest blog here at The Cub Reporter.
This illustration is in the current issue of VINE LINE.
Wait...you're flip-flopping again?!
Is this legal? What is the rule here on opining definitively and then changing your mind?
I am not only surprised at your declaration, but Cutler's better 2015 showing. I don't get it - he went through Martz, Turner, Trestman, Kromer, and now Gase...and he is still here! And. he'll be here mext year too.
Happ signs w Jays
Morsi saying Price won't be a Jay
needs more d.beeler and e.jokisch
As an Illinois tax payer I appreciate what they r doing
+ Bankruptcy Court
2 spots left on the 40-man...wonder if they're going to play around in the rule-5 market...
A special after day after Thanksgiving thanks to AZ for his insanely detailed posts on all things roster. I don't know how you keep track of all that stuff - I suspect a chip implant, but whatever it is, it's cool.
...the wrong half.
there's nothing like crapping out of the playoffs with a strong/young cheap team after pinching pennies for years then having theo talk about having to be creative with money to make things work for 2016...but hey, baseball isn't baseball without a farmer's market and beer garden plaza with ice rinks.
they can do both...then again, if you want to look at it from a business point of view, they don't have to do both because the team is expected to be competitive and the merch+tickets+eyes-on-team are going to be at a peak unless they fail badly.
They are trying to bring the facility to the 20th century.
I think they know what they are doing.
With the Cubs adding Pierce Johnson to their roster and not exposing/losing him to the Rule 5 Draft keeps the trade ancestry tree alive that started in 1999 with Tom Gordon and undrafted Adam Morrissey and includes 17 players, the trade tree progressed to involve the Hee Sop Choi for Derrek Lee deal and the famous Aramis Ramirez/Kenny Lofton deal..Pierce Johnson is the compensation pick for Aramis Ramirez in 2012
the Rex brothers?
Yeah, the Rex brothers, Tyrannosaurus and Oedipus