How Fast is Reed Johnson?
When you're a young guy, hair that grows in places other than your head is pretty important.
I was a freshman in football this one time when a guy named Paul Holland completely ran me over in a tackling drill.
One of the coaches screams at me, "SOUERS, YOU AIN'T GOT NO HAIR ON YOUR ASS!"
I could tell right away that hair meant huevos, balls, intestinal fortitude.
In college I decided to grow sideburns.
Grew 'em for about 3 weeks.
Wellll, on one side I had to painstakingly and artfully blend hair from my head to mix with all of maybe 14 actual sideburn hairs.
And all that blending was for naught because only 5 actual sideburn hairs grew on the other side.
Bald patch between the head hair and the 5 sideburn hairs - not good.
I cannot grow a mustache or a beard, I have no hair on my chest, and my leg hair kinda petered out in 6th grade.
Reed Johnson seems to be able to grow beards at will and overnight.
I am SO jealous.
But you never know - I may still be maturing.
Well, that hopefully took your mind off of Geovany Soto's "mild" oblique strain and the sloppy, rotten, foul-tasting 1-4 loss to the Braves yesterday.
Kevin Hart came up to take Dempster's place in the rotation.
He did okay, really.
Buncha walks, but okay.
It's these damned wimpy Cub bats.
They have no hair.
And here come the Cardinals...
A little perspective - the Phillies lead the NL with 432 runs scored, St. Louis is 6th with 377, and our favorite team is 15th with 337.
I'm sure you're aware that that's 15th out of 16.
So...not so good.
I'd put a little hair tonic on those bats, boys.
Do that thing where everybody on the team grows a beard or something.
You are going to need to score some runs in these next 4 games.
And if you do, you will have a chance to knock these guys down a peg.
And even though I don't, as a Cub fan I would at least feel like I had some hair on my ass.
Tim Souers is the illustrator and author of Cubby Blue and appreciates the opportunity to guest blog here at The Cub Reporter.
This illustration is in the current issue of VINE LINE.
triple, walk, domination
And he gets out of it by K-ing Braun, Lucroy and Carter!
Let's get some runs!
welcome to the cubs j.nathan.
2 pitches into the inning and there's a guy on 3rd with 0 outs (triple).
his velocity is hanging around 91/92mph.
Always a good idea to bring in Richard against a LH batter.
Russell left game with left heel contusion from foul ball on Saturday. Started to bother him during the Sunday game.
a.russell out and down into the clubhouse...no one knows why.
it's very hot on the field, so it might be heat related.
I blame the All-Star game again, or else Michael Barrett.
Miller park roof is closing. Hmmm, might play differently now?
Lester at 72 pitches through 3. Roof closing might get him through 6.
Middlebrows pulls a calf or hamstring. Len says he blew a tire rounding 1st. Nieuwenhuis enters game.
Now roof opening. Dizziness. No AC in the ballpark wrt the field.
just to lighten the mood:
Shark's day: 5.2 IP 5 Runs (all earned), 8 Hits, 2 HR. Left the game down 5-0 to Yankees.
Anyone expecting game 4 NLCS Shark vs Hammel or Lackey?
First inning: two on, no out, Rizz and Zobrist due up. Don't score.
Third inning: two on, one out, KB and Rizz due up. Don't score.
This is getting' old, fellahs.
KB still with ZERO RBI since the A/S break. Ouch.
62 through 2ip...yow.
it's an off day for d.ross, too. the wild pitch + passed ball in 2 separate strike 3 calls allowing the runner to reach 1st and the 5sb through 2ip makes for a bad game so far. ross cant shoulder any blame for some of those SBs, especially that villar steal of 3rd while lester watched him.
39 pitch inning by Lester. I guess it's a wash vs yesterday's 1st when Lackey gave up 2 run HR.
39 pitch, 2 run, 1st inning for lester. bleh.
horrible control so far today.
lester threw over to 1st! ...badly. braun takes 2nd.
it was a slow rainbow throw.
wow...villar just stole 3rd (after stealing 2nd) by walking 1/2 way to 3rd and then just sprinting toward 3rd with lester watching him do it from the mound.