How Fast is Reed Johnson?
When you're a young guy, hair that grows in places other than your head is pretty important.
I was a freshman in football this one time when a guy named Paul Holland completely ran me over in a tackling drill.
One of the coaches screams at me, "SOUERS, YOU AIN'T GOT NO HAIR ON YOUR ASS!"
I could tell right away that hair meant huevos, balls, intestinal fortitude.
In college I decided to grow sideburns.
Grew 'em for about 3 weeks.
Wellll, on one side I had to painstakingly and artfully blend hair from my head to mix with all of maybe 14 actual sideburn hairs.
And all that blending was for naught because only 5 actual sideburn hairs grew on the other side.
Bald patch between the head hair and the 5 sideburn hairs - not good.
I cannot grow a mustache or a beard, I have no hair on my chest, and my leg hair kinda petered out in 6th grade.
Reed Johnson seems to be able to grow beards at will and overnight.
I am SO jealous.
But you never know - I may still be maturing.
Well, that hopefully took your mind off of Geovany Soto's "mild" oblique strain and the sloppy, rotten, foul-tasting 1-4 loss to the Braves yesterday.
Kevin Hart came up to take Dempster's place in the rotation.
He did okay, really.
Buncha walks, but okay.
It's these damned wimpy Cub bats.
They have no hair.
And here come the Cardinals...
A little perspective - the Phillies lead the NL with 432 runs scored, St. Louis is 6th with 377, and our favorite team is 15th with 337.
I'm sure you're aware that that's 15th out of 16.
So...not so good.
I'd put a little hair tonic on those bats, boys.
Do that thing where everybody on the team grows a beard or something.
You are going to need to score some runs in these next 4 games.
And if you do, you will have a chance to knock these guys down a peg.
And even though I don't, as a Cub fan I would at least feel like I had some hair on my ass.
Tim Souers is the illustrator and author of Cubby Blue and appreciates the opportunity to guest blog here at The Cub Reporter.
This illustration is in the current issue of VINE LINE.
Contreras keeps hitting/walking like this, and Miggy keep up the poor D and lack of offense - the kid could be the #1 catcher very soon.
it doesn't hurt that the Cardinals lose the KC and the Pirates lost too.
...still trying to process what I just saw. From both KB and Jake. Walking Billy Hamilton twice is a cry for help. I think the nudie photos are messing with Jake's head.
Hopefully Peralta's time on the Cubs roster will be shorter than R. Soriano's.
it took 9 pitches for peralta to give up his 1st cubs homer. neat.
damn...totally missed that ruben quevedo died on june 7th. he was only 37...heart attack.
he threw some really horrible games for the cubs in 2000 and followed it up by doing the same for 3 season for the brewers.
Holy Kris Bryant what?!
Hitting 3 HR, 2 doubles in a game. Never been done in mlb history per Len/Bob.
walks? this is baseball, not a nature hike. he needs to get his head in the game.
in my opinion, he would have been better off hitting 2 homers rather than walking twice. /moneyballs
Rizzo: 2-3, homer, double, 2 walks - meh
in other news, the site seems to be eating about 50% of my comments...which is probably a good thing in hindsight.
The Tucker Barnhart reactions after each Kris Bryant HR are kind of priceless.
...but, he's also good at home runs, too.
technically a wp...that said, a good catcher can turn a good amount of wp into blocked balls that don't show up on the stats.
schwarber, for instance, was really bad at stopping wild pitches because of how stiff he was behind the plate.
Was that a wp or pb really? Unbelievable turn-around with this club. 8 runs will not be enough to win this game.
The Rich Harden Experience 2.0