How Fast is Reed Johnson?

 

When you're a young guy, hair that grows in places other than your head is pretty important.

I was a freshman in football this one time when a guy named Paul Holland completely ran me over in a tackling drill.

One of the coaches screams at me, "SOUERS, YOU AIN'T GOT NO HAIR ON YOUR ASS!"

I could tell right away that hair meant huevos, balls, intestinal fortitude.

In college I decided to grow sideburns.

Why not?

Grew 'em for about 3 weeks.

Wellll, on one side I had to painstakingly and artfully blend hair from my head to mix with all of maybe 14 actual sideburn hairs.

And all that blending was for naught because only 5 actual sideburn hairs grew on the other side.

Bald patch between the head hair and the 5 sideburn hairs - not good.

I cannot grow a mustache or a beard, I have no hair on my chest, and my leg hair kinda petered out in 6th grade.

Reed Johnson seems to be able to grow beards at will and overnight.
I am SO jealous.

But you never know - I may still be maturing.

Well, that hopefully took your mind off of Geovany Soto's "mild" oblique strain and the sloppy, rotten, foul-tasting 1-4 loss to the Braves yesterday.

Kevin Hart came up to take Dempster's place in the rotation.

He did okay, really.

Buncha walks, but okay.

It's these damned wimpy Cub bats.

They have no hair.

And here come the Cardinals...

A little perspective - the Phillies lead the NL with 432 runs scored, St. Louis is 6th with 377, and our favorite team is 15th with 337.

I'm sure you're aware that that's 15th out of 16.

So...not so good.

I'd put a little hair tonic on those bats, boys.

Do that thing where everybody on the team grows a beard or something.

You are going to need to score some runs in these next 4 games.

And if you do, you will have a chance to knock these guys down a peg.

And even though I don't, as a Cub fan I would at least feel like I had some hair on my ass.


 Tim Souers is the illustrator and author of Cubby Blue and appreciates the opportunity to guest blog here at The Cub Reporter.
http://www.cubby-blue.com

This illustration is in the current issue of VINE LINE.

Comments

Fox on radio in Chicago
-Catching "like riding a bike" he'll be ready

-Likes to play positions "where action is" felt like "being out on an island" in outfield.

http://community.post-gazette.com/blogs/pbc/archiv...

Giants and Rockies are mentioned...

Would Fonty and an arm get it done?

does this change your mind?

If Sanchez reaches 600 plate appearances, an $8 million option for 2010 will trigger.

he's on pace for 620 AB's, so PA's shouldn't be an issue barring another injury. He's been out for about a week now with a back injury.

Fonte doesn't get you much.

Freddie Sanchez... wouldn't that be great?

http://twitter.com/thekapman

submit one to Kaplan via Twitter, 2 best get a Lou Malnatti gift card

he claimed sometime yesterday that he is hearing the deal with the Ricketts will be announced sometime next week.

just asked:

"Why do you waste a bench player by sending up Reed for a PH sac bunt? With a short bench, couldn't a pitch have done that?"

I'm sure he'll ask that one.

why would you ask Hendry or Riot that question?

misread it.

thought it was Lou and Riot.

oh well.

Awww. Alfonso is upset about not being in the line up yesterday. Try hitting over .200 for a month and maybe they'll pencil you more often, buddy.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/cubs...

after a brutal June (.507 OPS)...1.189 so far in July.

1.052 (April), .830 (May), .507 (June), 1.189 in July

already has as many XBH's in July as he did in May, and one more than he did in June.

Fukudome looks good again, and comfortable hitting with two strikes.

http://blogs.dailyherald.com/node/2267

no roster move for Soto likely, Hart will be optioned today so he can come back July 19th or 20th to start against Nats or Phils, Miles thinks Jeff Stevens may get the call-up (seems like Ascanio would make more sense, but might not be 10 days yet). Waddell will be reinstated from DL and immediately optioned to Iowa as well.

http://www.mlbtraderumors.com/2009/07/trade-candid...

decent run-down, can't see any fit for the Cubs though...

my bad, CuBzwin has it figured out...

The Cubs could deal for any left-fielder and move soriano to second. So don't write them off for getting an OF.


Posted by:
CuBzwin |
July 09, 2009 at 01:30 PM

I'm sick of hearing about Soriano going to second.

Soriano at second makes Soriano in left look like Willie Mays in his prime.

@cst_cubs (Whittenmeyer) also saying Stevens will take Hart's spot on the roster tomorrow.

http://muskat.mlblogs.com/archives/2009/07/78_hit_...

granted, Von Joshua basically wrote the article with his quotes, but real good detail on what problems he's seeing.

http://www.rulesofbaseball.com/quiz1.html

got 4 right, although some are worded very poorly imo...

6, but it gave me a headache.

I got four, also, but I pretty much had to guess on all of them except the question about the first baseman who trapped the ball. That was the only one I knew for sure.

Really interesting quiz.

I got 4, but I agree that some were poorly worded. Several times I guessed the "could also be correct" answer. There were a couple that I answered that would have been right based on the High School rule book but that are apparently different from the professional rules.

I got 5 right, but some were very confusing to figure out what the hell they were describing. I used to love the Rules question in Baseball Digest, because it was so off the wall...

I would go farther than say 'poorly worded' and just call them incorrect. The two bunt ones (4 and 8?). Odds are that the runner on 2nd will have reached third by the time the ball is declared dead. On 8 unless the R3 crosses home before contact is made, he would have to re-touch third and then go back to home before they threw to 1st for the DP on R1.

in top of the 8th...

1st/3rd 0 outs and Pujols due up...

he doubles to score in the go-ahead run

Ludwick follows up w/ a 3-run HR

5-1, think the gadget was just predicting the future.

Recent comments

Subscribe to Recent comments
The first 600 characters of the last 16 comments, click "View" to see rest of comment.
  • g.soto is doing horrible in AAA...unfortunately.

    unless they decide to bring up g.concepcion or make a trade we might have richard around a little longer.

    ...that said, it wouldn't surprise me to see him DFA'd after the game...the "lefty specialist" just let 3 lefties in a row get on base. ugg.

    crunch 9 min 48 sec ago view
  • Ahhh Richard with your 6.00+ ERA as a short reliever...

    You ain't gonna be on no Playoff roster.

    The E-Man 19 min 38 sec ago view
  • I'll give this to Richard: he looks the part of a good pitcher, straight out of central casting. It's a shame he struggles with the getting guys out part of the game.

    Eric S 25 min 50 sec ago view
  • Didn't take Richard long. He is an absolute disaster.

    billybucks 30 min 41 sec ago view
  • Thru seven innings the Cubs have more errors than hits and Zobrist has struck out 3 times. And now Richard is pitching.

    These things do not add up to victory

    Eric S 33 min 23 sec ago view
  • It was from about 15 years ago

    jacos 35 min 37 sec ago view
  • Guess I was on tv

    jacos 36 min 9 sec ago view
  • Vin Scully sang the seventh-inning stretch. Along with all the great things he is known for, he can sing! He sounded like Willie Nelson out there. And he gave a nice shout-out to Harry. What a class guy.

    fullykräusened 39 min 57 sec ago view
  • I'm thinking Kazmir did not get the memo he was supposed to pitch like a tomato can tonight. Jeesh

    Eric S 1 hour 9 sec ago view
  • yeah, she's not on this game, though.

    they keep talking about things that aren't this game...a lot...rather than calling this game, doing split screen coverage of other games, doing split screen studio banter, and they just finished cutting away from the game totally (no split screen) to cover another game while missing rizzo's K and the first 2 pitches of zobrist's AB.

    ESPN...because screw you, you weren't really tuning in to watch this.

    crunch 1 hour 27 min ago view
  • Phil, I think I read an earlier take that you don't see much of an ML career for Brooks? I kinda thought when he was acquired it was as depth for this year, but with an eye on the Cahill type swing role next year?

    Then again he did get hit around pretty bad in his big league time last year.

    Koyies Bansaw 1 hour 36 min ago view
  • Is Jessica Mendoza still announcing for ESPN? She is excellent from what I remember and actually talks knowledgeably about baseball.

    johann 1 hour 43 min ago view
  • watching a game on ESPN is one of the worst things a fan of whatever team is on the field can do...this is, once again, turrible.

    crunch 1 hour 55 min ago view
  • I'll put pix on Twitter

    @sirguygrande

    jacos 2 hours 45 min ago view
  • Actually behind press box
    Yeah great tix

    jacos 2 hours 55 min ago view
  • Looks like Bryan Hudson is the new Randy Johnson: his height will always be part of his name.

    billybucks 3 hours 54 sec ago view