How Fast is Reed Johnson?
When you're a young guy, hair that grows in places other than your head is pretty important.
I was a freshman in football this one time when a guy named Paul Holland completely ran me over in a tackling drill.
One of the coaches screams at me, "SOUERS, YOU AIN'T GOT NO HAIR ON YOUR ASS!"
I could tell right away that hair meant huevos, balls, intestinal fortitude.
In college I decided to grow sideburns.
Grew 'em for about 3 weeks.
Wellll, on one side I had to painstakingly and artfully blend hair from my head to mix with all of maybe 14 actual sideburn hairs.
And all that blending was for naught because only 5 actual sideburn hairs grew on the other side.
Bald patch between the head hair and the 5 sideburn hairs - not good.
I cannot grow a mustache or a beard, I have no hair on my chest, and my leg hair kinda petered out in 6th grade.
Reed Johnson seems to be able to grow beards at will and overnight.
I am SO jealous.
But you never know - I may still be maturing.
Well, that hopefully took your mind off of Geovany Soto's "mild" oblique strain and the sloppy, rotten, foul-tasting 1-4 loss to the Braves yesterday.
Kevin Hart came up to take Dempster's place in the rotation.
He did okay, really.
Buncha walks, but okay.
It's these damned wimpy Cub bats.
They have no hair.
And here come the Cardinals...
A little perspective - the Phillies lead the NL with 432 runs scored, St. Louis is 6th with 377, and our favorite team is 15th with 337.
I'm sure you're aware that that's 15th out of 16.
So...not so good.
I'd put a little hair tonic on those bats, boys.
Do that thing where everybody on the team grows a beard or something.
You are going to need to score some runs in these next 4 games.
And if you do, you will have a chance to knock these guys down a peg.
And even though I don't, as a Cub fan I would at least feel like I had some hair on my ass.
Tim Souers is the illustrator and author of Cubby Blue and appreciates the opportunity to guest blog here at The Cub Reporter.
This illustration is in the current issue of VINE LINE.
g.soto is doing horrible in AAA...unfortunately.
unless they decide to bring up g.concepcion or make a trade we might have richard around a little longer.
...that said, it wouldn't surprise me to see him DFA'd after the game...the "lefty specialist" just let 3 lefties in a row get on base. ugg.
Ahhh Richard with your 6.00+ ERA as a short reliever...
You ain't gonna be on no Playoff roster.
I'll give this to Richard: he looks the part of a good pitcher, straight out of central casting. It's a shame he struggles with the getting guys out part of the game.
Didn't take Richard long. He is an absolute disaster.
Thru seven innings the Cubs have more errors than hits and Zobrist has struck out 3 times. And now Richard is pitching.
These things do not add up to victory
It was from about 15 years ago
Guess I was on tv
Vin Scully sang the seventh-inning stretch. Along with all the great things he is known for, he can sing! He sounded like Willie Nelson out there. And he gave a nice shout-out to Harry. What a class guy.
I'm thinking Kazmir did not get the memo he was supposed to pitch like a tomato can tonight. Jeesh
yeah, she's not on this game, though.
they keep talking about things that aren't this game...a lot...rather than calling this game, doing split screen coverage of other games, doing split screen studio banter, and they just finished cutting away from the game totally (no split screen) to cover another game while missing rizzo's K and the first 2 pitches of zobrist's AB.
ESPN...because screw you, you weren't really tuning in to watch this.
Phil, I think I read an earlier take that you don't see much of an ML career for Brooks? I kinda thought when he was acquired it was as depth for this year, but with an eye on the Cahill type swing role next year?
Then again he did get hit around pretty bad in his big league time last year.
Is Jessica Mendoza still announcing for ESPN? She is excellent from what I remember and actually talks knowledgeably about baseball.
watching a game on ESPN is one of the worst things a fan of whatever team is on the field can do...this is, once again, turrible.
I'll put pix on Twitter
Actually behind press box
Yeah great tix
Looks like Bryan Hudson is the new Randy Johnson: his height will always be part of his name.