How Fast is Reed Johnson?
When you're a young guy, hair that grows in places other than your head is pretty important.
I was a freshman in football this one time when a guy named Paul Holland completely ran me over in a tackling drill.
One of the coaches screams at me, "SOUERS, YOU AIN'T GOT NO HAIR ON YOUR ASS!"
I could tell right away that hair meant huevos, balls, intestinal fortitude.
In college I decided to grow sideburns.
Grew 'em for about 3 weeks.
Wellll, on one side I had to painstakingly and artfully blend hair from my head to mix with all of maybe 14 actual sideburn hairs.
And all that blending was for naught because only 5 actual sideburn hairs grew on the other side.
Bald patch between the head hair and the 5 sideburn hairs - not good.
I cannot grow a mustache or a beard, I have no hair on my chest, and my leg hair kinda petered out in 6th grade.
Reed Johnson seems to be able to grow beards at will and overnight.
I am SO jealous.
But you never know - I may still be maturing.
Well, that hopefully took your mind off of Geovany Soto's "mild" oblique strain and the sloppy, rotten, foul-tasting 1-4 loss to the Braves yesterday.
Kevin Hart came up to take Dempster's place in the rotation.
He did okay, really.
Buncha walks, but okay.
It's these damned wimpy Cub bats.
They have no hair.
And here come the Cardinals...
A little perspective - the Phillies lead the NL with 432 runs scored, St. Louis is 6th with 377, and our favorite team is 15th with 337.
I'm sure you're aware that that's 15th out of 16.
So...not so good.
I'd put a little hair tonic on those bats, boys.
Do that thing where everybody on the team grows a beard or something.
You are going to need to score some runs in these next 4 games.
And if you do, you will have a chance to knock these guys down a peg.
And even though I don't, as a Cub fan I would at least feel like I had some hair on my ass.
Tim Souers is the illustrator and author of Cubby Blue and appreciates the opportunity to guest blog here at The Cub Reporter.
This illustration is in the current issue of VINE LINE.
Classic Scully - great stuff.
Thank God we'll still have Hawk next season. (cricket cricket cricket)
Here's Scully's call on Bryant's 10th-inning homer:
"And it's a long fly ball, a mean fly ball, and a gone fly ball."
When the Cubs were the old, hundred-year Cubs, one bad hop did not undo their opponents.
If only he was clutcher. More clutcher.
cubs win...bryant with 7HR in his last 8 games.
bryant 2nd HR of the night for a 2 run lead in the 10th? sure, why not. awesome.
gawd...jansen's thrown 5 pitches in the past 5 minutes.
wild pitch (and a K, boo) with heyward advancing! 1 out, heyward on 3rd.
HEYWARD SCORES ON A 2nd WILD PITCH! TIE!
leadoff double (heyward!) top of the 9th...RALLY!
carlos ruiz is still coming up to "in the air tonight" by phil 'are you kidding me' collins in LA.
many years ago before phil collins it was a soulja boy song.
dude has odd taste in music. at least it's not yanni...i guess.
Funniest skybox ever
that was some joke ass official scoring giving him a double. either way, seager's on 2nd and soler's play in the OF is still sketchy.
Schwarber is worse right?
Seager with the two out double *cough* to left field in the bottom of the fourth. If Soler just plays that bunny hop off his nuts, it's a single - certainly no double.
rizzo is tired of SD/LA night games...yet another towering one that died on the warning track.
Vin's been around
Monty dropped a two strike curve on AGon