How Fast is Reed Johnson?
When you're a young guy, hair that grows in places other than your head is pretty important.
I was a freshman in football this one time when a guy named Paul Holland completely ran me over in a tackling drill.
One of the coaches screams at me, "SOUERS, YOU AIN'T GOT NO HAIR ON YOUR ASS!"
I could tell right away that hair meant huevos, balls, intestinal fortitude.
In college I decided to grow sideburns.
Grew 'em for about 3 weeks.
Wellll, on one side I had to painstakingly and artfully blend hair from my head to mix with all of maybe 14 actual sideburn hairs.
And all that blending was for naught because only 5 actual sideburn hairs grew on the other side.
Bald patch between the head hair and the 5 sideburn hairs - not good.
I cannot grow a mustache or a beard, I have no hair on my chest, and my leg hair kinda petered out in 6th grade.
Reed Johnson seems to be able to grow beards at will and overnight.
I am SO jealous.
But you never know - I may still be maturing.
Well, that hopefully took your mind off of Geovany Soto's "mild" oblique strain and the sloppy, rotten, foul-tasting 1-4 loss to the Braves yesterday.
Kevin Hart came up to take Dempster's place in the rotation.
He did okay, really.
Buncha walks, but okay.
It's these damned wimpy Cub bats.
They have no hair.
And here come the Cardinals...
A little perspective - the Phillies lead the NL with 432 runs scored, St. Louis is 6th with 377, and our favorite team is 15th with 337.
I'm sure you're aware that that's 15th out of 16.
So...not so good.
I'd put a little hair tonic on those bats, boys.
Do that thing where everybody on the team grows a beard or something.
You are going to need to score some runs in these next 4 games.
And if you do, you will have a chance to knock these guys down a peg.
And even though I don't, as a Cub fan I would at least feel like I had some hair on my ass.
Tim Souers is the illustrator and author of Cubby Blue and appreciates the opportunity to guest blog here at The Cub Reporter.
This illustration is in the current issue of VINE LINE.
I hate to put the jinx on, but I just bought a plane ticket to Chicago for the last weekend in October.
Glove-gate? bottom 4th, Rizzo-Zobrist and I don't get it. Is it 3-4 or 3-4 putout. Rizzo gets 2nd base qualification in fantasy leagues?
a.rizzo now playing 2nd in a lineup position switch because c.hurdle bitched about rizzo changing gloves and slotting to 2nd on an anticipated bunt play.
now he's got a PO playing as a 2nd baseman. neat.
dfa jake arrieta.
free tim federowicz.
9/11 was an inside job.
rizzo #32...ties career high.
The team, farm and scouting system were barren when they arrive.
They punted two seasons, third season 73 wins which is what happened about 75% of the time in last 50 years
there was more than one way to get there
supposedly jed "who?" hoyer, too
same...i just happen to not like sitting through shit sandwich meals for multiple years. baseball is kinda boring when you're punting on 1st down for a slew of years in a row.
i fully understand why it was done, but i didn't enjoy it. there was more than one way to get competitive and this was the chosen way.
fwiw, apparently McLeod signed extension as well after he didn't get Twins gig.
I am once again reminded why I am happy that Theo is running the organization.
if not they can just intentionally tank the team for 3-4 years and rebuild.
Hopefully after the Cubs complete their sevenpeat :)
They're the best in the business and have been for 12 years running now. The only question is when they'll get bored of it.
I was right here. I don't require my GM's to be perfect, but I would like them to understand what wins baseball games (IMO controlling the strike zone and creating/avoiding outs), and knowing where the organization is in the success cycle.
Theo and company have made and will make plenty of mistakes, but they seem to understand those two items pretty well.