How Fast is Reed Johnson?
When you're a young guy, hair that grows in places other than your head is pretty important.
I was a freshman in football this one time when a guy named Paul Holland completely ran me over in a tackling drill.
One of the coaches screams at me, "SOUERS, YOU AIN'T GOT NO HAIR ON YOUR ASS!"
I could tell right away that hair meant huevos, balls, intestinal fortitude.
In college I decided to grow sideburns.
Grew 'em for about 3 weeks.
Wellll, on one side I had to painstakingly and artfully blend hair from my head to mix with all of maybe 14 actual sideburn hairs.
And all that blending was for naught because only 5 actual sideburn hairs grew on the other side.
Bald patch between the head hair and the 5 sideburn hairs - not good.
I cannot grow a mustache or a beard, I have no hair on my chest, and my leg hair kinda petered out in 6th grade.
Reed Johnson seems to be able to grow beards at will and overnight.
I am SO jealous.
But you never know - I may still be maturing.
Well, that hopefully took your mind off of Geovany Soto's "mild" oblique strain and the sloppy, rotten, foul-tasting 1-4 loss to the Braves yesterday.
Kevin Hart came up to take Dempster's place in the rotation.
He did okay, really.
Buncha walks, but okay.
It's these damned wimpy Cub bats.
They have no hair.
And here come the Cardinals...
A little perspective - the Phillies lead the NL with 432 runs scored, St. Louis is 6th with 377, and our favorite team is 15th with 337.
I'm sure you're aware that that's 15th out of 16.
So...not so good.
I'd put a little hair tonic on those bats, boys.
Do that thing where everybody on the team grows a beard or something.
You are going to need to score some runs in these next 4 games.
And if you do, you will have a chance to knock these guys down a peg.
And even though I don't, as a Cub fan I would at least feel like I had some hair on my ass.
Tim Souers is the illustrator and author of Cubby Blue and appreciates the opportunity to guest blog here at The Cub Reporter.
This illustration is in the current issue of VINE LINE.
2016 .607 ops
Plus bad fielding
taylor davis moved to AAA to take the place of that other catcher guy dude person.
Who's Mr. June-August? Can't be Jorge "Mr. 1.705 Playoff OPS " Soler, can it?
Chesny Young 4-5 tonight for Tenn. Now hitting .410 with an OBP over .500.
Looks like Soler has decided to take the "can't play in the cold" thing head-on. No longer wearing the cold-weather under gear.
Cubs record for last 3 months of regular season baseball: 59 - 23. (Aug, Sept/Oct and April, with one still to go).
That's a .720 winning percentage and projects to 117 wins over 162 games.
That's a lot of dance parties.
So where does Warren G rank in the list of terrible "Take me out to the ballgame" renditions? It's gotta be near the top.
They only need to win 18 more in a row to match the 1984 start of the Detroit Tigers.
I agree that it is frustrating and baffling and I am surprised more teams don't try and take advantage of it. However, in the end, I would rather have a pitcher that has 4-5 outs innings versus 4-5 runs innings.
.464 obp play him over Mr june-august
And he can play the field
I don't have any problem being "reminded" of it -- but anything more than a short sentence about it makes my eyes glaze over and skip to the bottom.
per Len: Not Wrigley Field Friendly confines today, it's Szczur's Palace
It's kinda neat seeing guys with such little experience doing so well off the bench. Usually it's guys with a bit more time. How many major league at bats do those two have between them?
It's really not any more newsworthy than a pitcher who runs up and misses it with his glove, walks the batter instead, or throws it into right field where some runs score. Holding the ball was brilliant. He knew he didn't have the throw eyed. And then he follows up with a gutsy performance. The guy rocks.