How Fast is Reed Johnson?
When you're a young guy, hair that grows in places other than your head is pretty important.
I was a freshman in football this one time when a guy named Paul Holland completely ran me over in a tackling drill.
One of the coaches screams at me, "SOUERS, YOU AIN'T GOT NO HAIR ON YOUR ASS!"
I could tell right away that hair meant huevos, balls, intestinal fortitude.
In college I decided to grow sideburns.
Grew 'em for about 3 weeks.
Wellll, on one side I had to painstakingly and artfully blend hair from my head to mix with all of maybe 14 actual sideburn hairs.
And all that blending was for naught because only 5 actual sideburn hairs grew on the other side.
Bald patch between the head hair and the 5 sideburn hairs - not good.
I cannot grow a mustache or a beard, I have no hair on my chest, and my leg hair kinda petered out in 6th grade.
Reed Johnson seems to be able to grow beards at will and overnight.
I am SO jealous.
But you never know - I may still be maturing.
Well, that hopefully took your mind off of Geovany Soto's "mild" oblique strain and the sloppy, rotten, foul-tasting 1-4 loss to the Braves yesterday.
Kevin Hart came up to take Dempster's place in the rotation.
He did okay, really.
Buncha walks, but okay.
It's these damned wimpy Cub bats.
They have no hair.
And here come the Cardinals...
A little perspective - the Phillies lead the NL with 432 runs scored, St. Louis is 6th with 377, and our favorite team is 15th with 337.
I'm sure you're aware that that's 15th out of 16.
So...not so good.
I'd put a little hair tonic on those bats, boys.
Do that thing where everybody on the team grows a beard or something.
You are going to need to score some runs in these next 4 games.
And if you do, you will have a chance to knock these guys down a peg.
And even though I don't, as a Cub fan I would at least feel like I had some hair on my ass.
Tim Souers is the illustrator and author of Cubby Blue and appreciates the opportunity to guest blog here at The Cub Reporter.
This illustration is in the current issue of VINE LINE.
Rick Renteria was a great idea! Seriously! I feel bad for the guy, although it happened the way it had to.
Hey, whatta bout me?
....and Theo thought EJax, Sveum and Ricky were good ideas. Win some, lose some.
I thought he was better than Archer?
/f u Hendry
The Padres signed RHP Trey McNutt to a minor league contract...
Yeah, she's a good egg. The whole superdelegate thing is shady as fuck though.
the perks of being a
big fundraisermodel representative citizen.
honestly, though...the dnc could do worse and she's involved in all kinds of dem party stuff.
I didn't realize Laura Ricketts is a superdelegate.
pretty much...also agree that it wouldn't surprise me to see him land with the cubs, too.
the trade to free up room for him would be interesting.
it would help if he didn't play such a mixed-bag CF. he's anything but sure out there with his wacky routes.
the O's are favored because of links for weeks and they're about to land y.gallardo (giving up that draft pick).
holy crap...j.mejia got busted AGAIN for PEDs.
3rd time...lifetime ban.
at one point he was the "closer of the future" (and the actual closer) for the mets. 26 years old. unreal.
I agree with what you said, but isn't it so weird that the White Sox are not linked to Fowler? They seem like an ideal fit.
oddly...or not...fowler's been strongly linked to the O's lately.
Olmos takes another 40 man roster Roulette bullet. The new lefty will be gone when Fowler comes back.
seen him in the minors...rather boring lefty. really slow secondary stuff (very slow slider) and a fastball that barely hits 90 on a good day.
The Cubs have claimed C.J. Riefenhauser LHP on waivers from the Orioles. Edgar Olmos was again DFA.
They should have someone standing behind him to take the ball out of his glove when he's looking for a sign from the catcher, and throw to first. I vote for Baez. That way he can cover the rest of the infield, too.