How Fast is Reed Johnson?

 

When you're a young guy, hair that grows in places other than your head is pretty important.

I was a freshman in football this one time when a guy named Paul Holland completely ran me over in a tackling drill.

One of the coaches screams at me, "SOUERS, YOU AIN'T GOT NO HAIR ON YOUR ASS!"

I could tell right away that hair meant huevos, balls, intestinal fortitude.

In college I decided to grow sideburns.

Why not?

Grew 'em for about 3 weeks.

Wellll, on one side I had to painstakingly and artfully blend hair from my head to mix with all of maybe 14 actual sideburn hairs.

And all that blending was for naught because only 5 actual sideburn hairs grew on the other side.

Bald patch between the head hair and the 5 sideburn hairs - not good.

I cannot grow a mustache or a beard, I have no hair on my chest, and my leg hair kinda petered out in 6th grade.

Reed Johnson seems to be able to grow beards at will and overnight.
I am SO jealous.

But you never know - I may still be maturing.

Well, that hopefully took your mind off of Geovany Soto's "mild" oblique strain and the sloppy, rotten, foul-tasting 1-4 loss to the Braves yesterday.

Kevin Hart came up to take Dempster's place in the rotation.

He did okay, really.

Buncha walks, but okay.

It's these damned wimpy Cub bats.

They have no hair.

And here come the Cardinals...

A little perspective - the Phillies lead the NL with 432 runs scored, St. Louis is 6th with 377, and our favorite team is 15th with 337.

I'm sure you're aware that that's 15th out of 16.

So...not so good.

I'd put a little hair tonic on those bats, boys.

Do that thing where everybody on the team grows a beard or something.

You are going to need to score some runs in these next 4 games.

And if you do, you will have a chance to knock these guys down a peg.

And even though I don't, as a Cub fan I would at least feel like I had some hair on my ass.


 Tim Souers is the illustrator and author of Cubby Blue and appreciates the opportunity to guest blog here at The Cub Reporter.
http://www.cubby-blue.com

This illustration is in the current issue of VINE LINE.

Comments

Fox on radio in Chicago
-Catching "like riding a bike" he'll be ready

-Likes to play positions "where action is" felt like "being out on an island" in outfield.

http://community.post-gazette.com/blogs/pbc/archiv...

Giants and Rockies are mentioned...

Would Fonty and an arm get it done?

does this change your mind?

If Sanchez reaches 600 plate appearances, an $8 million option for 2010 will trigger.

he's on pace for 620 AB's, so PA's shouldn't be an issue barring another injury. He's been out for about a week now with a back injury.

Fonte doesn't get you much.

Freddie Sanchez... wouldn't that be great?

http://twitter.com/thekapman

submit one to Kaplan via Twitter, 2 best get a Lou Malnatti gift card

he claimed sometime yesterday that he is hearing the deal with the Ricketts will be announced sometime next week.

just asked:

"Why do you waste a bench player by sending up Reed for a PH sac bunt? With a short bench, couldn't a pitch have done that?"

I'm sure he'll ask that one.

why would you ask Hendry or Riot that question?

misread it.

thought it was Lou and Riot.

oh well.

Awww. Alfonso is upset about not being in the line up yesterday. Try hitting over .200 for a month and maybe they'll pencil you more often, buddy.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/cubs...

after a brutal June (.507 OPS)...1.189 so far in July.

1.052 (April), .830 (May), .507 (June), 1.189 in July

already has as many XBH's in July as he did in May, and one more than he did in June.

Fukudome looks good again, and comfortable hitting with two strikes.

http://blogs.dailyherald.com/node/2267

no roster move for Soto likely, Hart will be optioned today so he can come back July 19th or 20th to start against Nats or Phils, Miles thinks Jeff Stevens may get the call-up (seems like Ascanio would make more sense, but might not be 10 days yet). Waddell will be reinstated from DL and immediately optioned to Iowa as well.

http://www.mlbtraderumors.com/2009/07/trade-candid...

decent run-down, can't see any fit for the Cubs though...

my bad, CuBzwin has it figured out...

The Cubs could deal for any left-fielder and move soriano to second. So don't write them off for getting an OF.


Posted by:
CuBzwin |
July 09, 2009 at 01:30 PM

I'm sick of hearing about Soriano going to second.

Soriano at second makes Soriano in left look like Willie Mays in his prime.

@cst_cubs (Whittenmeyer) also saying Stevens will take Hart's spot on the roster tomorrow.

http://muskat.mlblogs.com/archives/2009/07/78_hit_...

granted, Von Joshua basically wrote the article with his quotes, but real good detail on what problems he's seeing.

http://www.rulesofbaseball.com/quiz1.html

got 4 right, although some are worded very poorly imo...

6, but it gave me a headache.

I got four, also, but I pretty much had to guess on all of them except the question about the first baseman who trapped the ball. That was the only one I knew for sure.

Really interesting quiz.

I got 4, but I agree that some were poorly worded. Several times I guessed the "could also be correct" answer. There were a couple that I answered that would have been right based on the High School rule book but that are apparently different from the professional rules.

I got 5 right, but some were very confusing to figure out what the hell they were describing. I used to love the Rules question in Baseball Digest, because it was so off the wall...

I would go farther than say 'poorly worded' and just call them incorrect. The two bunt ones (4 and 8?). Odds are that the runner on 2nd will have reached third by the time the ball is declared dead. On 8 unless the R3 crosses home before contact is made, he would have to re-touch third and then go back to home before they threw to 1st for the DP on R1.

in top of the 8th...

1st/3rd 0 outs and Pujols due up...

he doubles to score in the go-ahead run

Ludwick follows up w/ a 3-run HR

5-1, think the gadget was just predicting the future.

Recent comments

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  • That Heyward move to avoid Bryant's ball hit at him was a thing of beauty too.

    johann 1 min 42 sec ago view
  • 9 pitches in and this game already rules.

    HR, double...bryant's turn (who came out to a Kris Kross song for some horrible, horrible reason).

    ...2 run inning...zoobrest hitting streak at 14.

    crunch 6 min 17 sec ago view
  • First time I saw Herrera was yesterday. He took like 100 pitches, fouled off a ton off Lester.

    Very nice young player and perfect leadoff guy.

    The E-Man 1 hour 16 min ago view
  • Obviously not Phil. But he mentioned this on Wednesday.

    "Dominican Summer League (DSL) Opening Day is Saturday June 4th, so probably about 8-10 pitchers and position players presently at EXST in Mesa will be sent to the Cubs Dominican Academy (probably sometime this week) and be assigned to either DSL Cubs #1 or DSL Cubs #2."

    In the comments here: http://www.thecubreporter.com/05242016/cub-power-d...

    QuietMan 1 hour 55 min ago view
  • Per FanGraphs, Cubs have a 72.5% chance of winning today. Jinx! Next highest percentage on today's games is D-backs with a 64.7% chance (Greinke vs. Cesar Vargas, in Arizona.)

    Transmission 1 hour 55 min ago view
  • Phil, when will the Cubs start moving international players from EST to the Dominican for the start of the DSL season?

    diamondjaxx 2 hours 32 min ago view
  • It was a nice barehand pick-up but he was close enough to 1st where he could underhand the ball to Bryant. The trouble he's had has been with the overhand throw. He's definitely working on it, but I don't know if that play was a good example of progress made.

    K Dub 5 hours 44 min ago view
  • Phil, have you heard anything about the condition of Oscar De La Cruz's elbow? Has there been talk of a time table? Is he throwing?

    K Dub 11 hours 33 min ago view
  • i was distracted for most of the game and also missed the first few innings.

    but yeah, any time he makes a good fielding+throwing play on D it's worthy of praise and a trip to pizza hut for a personal pan pizza and $1 worth of songs on the juke box.

    seriously, i'll take it.

    crunch 13 hours 38 min ago view
  • BTW, CRUNCH, Lester made a nice bh pick-up and toss to Bryant. Did you catch it?

    He's been workin' on the D!

    The E-Man 15 hours 34 min ago view
  • j.urias didn't have a good debut...

    2.2ip 5h 4bb 3k...3 r/er...1 wp

    81 pitches. yow.

    crunch 18 hours 18 min ago view
  • Ach - I really only saw it quickly and thought that's where it it. No matter - he crushed it and the video board people did not have to repair the panels from what I saw!

    The E-Man 18 hours 30 min ago view
  • Totally agree with that re Soler, whereas Bryant seems to get the close call (so far) this year.

    Good to see Baez get a couple knocks today - been awhile

    Eric S 18 hours 37 min ago view
  • that works too...there wasnt a good CSN replay...was going off whatever len or jd (dont remember) said.

    crunch 18 hours 42 min ago view
  • I was there. From what I saw it was upper third of the scoreboard

    The E-Man 18 hours 45 min ago view
  • No I have been thinking actually that he seems to lead the Cubs with balls called strikes all year. He really shouldn't be expanding his zone to swing at many of those either because it wouldn't lead to anything good. He's seeing the ball well though so hopefully it'll even out.

    johann 19 hours 43 min ago view