How Fast is Reed Johnson?
When you're a young guy, hair that grows in places other than your head is pretty important.
I was a freshman in football this one time when a guy named Paul Holland completely ran me over in a tackling drill.
One of the coaches screams at me, "SOUERS, YOU AIN'T GOT NO HAIR ON YOUR ASS!"
I could tell right away that hair meant huevos, balls, intestinal fortitude.
In college I decided to grow sideburns.
Grew 'em for about 3 weeks.
Wellll, on one side I had to painstakingly and artfully blend hair from my head to mix with all of maybe 14 actual sideburn hairs.
And all that blending was for naught because only 5 actual sideburn hairs grew on the other side.
Bald patch between the head hair and the 5 sideburn hairs - not good.
I cannot grow a mustache or a beard, I have no hair on my chest, and my leg hair kinda petered out in 6th grade.
Reed Johnson seems to be able to grow beards at will and overnight.
I am SO jealous.
But you never know - I may still be maturing.
Well, that hopefully took your mind off of Geovany Soto's "mild" oblique strain and the sloppy, rotten, foul-tasting 1-4 loss to the Braves yesterday.
Kevin Hart came up to take Dempster's place in the rotation.
He did okay, really.
Buncha walks, but okay.
It's these damned wimpy Cub bats.
They have no hair.
And here come the Cardinals...
A little perspective - the Phillies lead the NL with 432 runs scored, St. Louis is 6th with 377, and our favorite team is 15th with 337.
I'm sure you're aware that that's 15th out of 16.
So...not so good.
I'd put a little hair tonic on those bats, boys.
Do that thing where everybody on the team grows a beard or something.
You are going to need to score some runs in these next 4 games.
And if you do, you will have a chance to knock these guys down a peg.
And even though I don't, as a Cub fan I would at least feel like I had some hair on my ass.
Tim Souers is the illustrator and author of Cubby Blue and appreciates the opportunity to guest blog here at The Cub Reporter.
This illustration is in the current issue of VINE LINE.
i was distracted for most of the game and also missed the first few innings.
but yeah, any time he makes a good fielding+throwing play on D it's worthy of praise and a trip to pizza hut for a personal pan pizza and $1 worth of songs on the juke box.
seriously, i'll take it.
BTW, CRUNCH, Lester made a nice bh pick-up and toss to Bryant. Did you catch it?
He's been workin' on the D!
j.urias didn't have a good debut...
2.2ip 5h 4bb 3k...3 r/er...1 wp
81 pitches. yow.
Ach - I really only saw it quickly and thought that's where it it. No matter - he crushed it and the video board people did not have to repair the panels from what I saw!
Totally agree with that re Soler, whereas Bryant seems to get the close call (so far) this year.
Good to see Baez get a couple knocks today - been awhile
that works too...there wasnt a good CSN replay...was going off whatever len or jd (dont remember) said.
I was there. From what I saw it was upper third of the scoreboard
No I have been thinking actually that he seems to lead the Cubs with balls called strikes all year. He really shouldn't be expanding his zone to swing at many of those either because it wouldn't lead to anything good. He's seeing the ball well though so hopefully it'll even out.
So why don't the umps like Soler, or am I just imagining it?
Yeah, but he kills lefties.
wow...instant hardcore rain.
it was massive...hit off the bottom of the LF scoreboard.
Projected at 461 ft, with a 108 mph exit velocity - longest Cub HR this year by 20 ft (I think Arrieta had the longest?)
this team is full of horrible walkup music...rizzo uses 'marky mark and the funky bunch' more than he should...which is any at all.
d.ross uses alphaville 'forever young' because lulz.
lastella was using (still might be) 'oh what a night' by the four seasons.
turrible turrible stuff.
cubs lead 1-5, bottom 4.
Just noticed that Baez's current walk-up song is "Informer" by Snow. Dear God. That's world class bad.