How Fast is Reed Johnson?
When you're a young guy, hair that grows in places other than your head is pretty important.
I was a freshman in football this one time when a guy named Paul Holland completely ran me over in a tackling drill.
One of the coaches screams at me, "SOUERS, YOU AIN'T GOT NO HAIR ON YOUR ASS!"
I could tell right away that hair meant huevos, balls, intestinal fortitude.
In college I decided to grow sideburns.
Grew 'em for about 3 weeks.
Wellll, on one side I had to painstakingly and artfully blend hair from my head to mix with all of maybe 14 actual sideburn hairs.
And all that blending was for naught because only 5 actual sideburn hairs grew on the other side.
Bald patch between the head hair and the 5 sideburn hairs - not good.
I cannot grow a mustache or a beard, I have no hair on my chest, and my leg hair kinda petered out in 6th grade.
Reed Johnson seems to be able to grow beards at will and overnight.
I am SO jealous.
But you never know - I may still be maturing.
Well, that hopefully took your mind off of Geovany Soto's "mild" oblique strain and the sloppy, rotten, foul-tasting 1-4 loss to the Braves yesterday.
Kevin Hart came up to take Dempster's place in the rotation.
He did okay, really.
Buncha walks, but okay.
It's these damned wimpy Cub bats.
They have no hair.
And here come the Cardinals...
A little perspective - the Phillies lead the NL with 432 runs scored, St. Louis is 6th with 377, and our favorite team is 15th with 337.
I'm sure you're aware that that's 15th out of 16.
So...not so good.
I'd put a little hair tonic on those bats, boys.
Do that thing where everybody on the team grows a beard or something.
You are going to need to score some runs in these next 4 games.
And if you do, you will have a chance to knock these guys down a peg.
And even though I don't, as a Cub fan I would at least feel like I had some hair on my ass.
Tim Souers is the illustrator and author of Cubby Blue and appreciates the opportunity to guest blog here at The Cub Reporter.
This illustration is in the current issue of VINE LINE.
draft signings are trickling in...rounds 6-9 are signed + a random slew of others.
filter by team.
Former Major League All-Star Jim Hickman dies at 79
Yep...sort of. Matheny says Rosenthal will no longer pitch the 9th, and they will mix/match Oh, Siegrist and Broxton.
Duane Underwood now 0-5 with a 5.44 ERA for Tenn. Urp. Warren not sharp at Iowa tonight. When will Cease and Hudson be ready?
On a positive note, Jiminez with his 10th HR tonight. He has a .924 OPS -- the only player in the league with an OPS over .900. Leads the lead in 2B, SLG and OPS, tied for the league lead in HR and 3rd in Avg. Nice!
- The pressure of going for the regular-season wins record is now gone.
- Joe will come up with more wacky dress-up ideas for the team to wear after they lose their next get-away game.
- There is more clarity on Spencer Patton.
- We play the Reds next. They aren't very good.
- We'll have at least a 9 game lead after today.
EDIT: - Contreras looks like the real deal.
Other than that, not much -- nasty stretch. Two ugly losses in the last 4 games.
Ugh -- give Lackey a 4-1 lead, you hope for better.
Joe: "We lost. They beat us. Now where's my '09 Guigal Bordeaux glass...?
I forgot how rail thin skinny Carl Edwards Jr. Is - he threw some nasty stuff - hope that continues
HAHAHA! I love it here! Brilliant...
"The pressure of going for the regular-season wins record is now gone."
Brilliant. Maddon is a genius!
"Drink copiously but responsibly."
Done and done. Thanks for that.
Oil Can Boyd now pitching for the Cubs
It's a long season. There will be stretches like this. It's Saturday night. Drink copiously but responsibly.
That valuable RBIGIDP.
Someone talk me down here.
I remember AZ PHIL talking about Bour's power during the Hendry era.
Time to scrap the scouting report on Justin Bour and get a new one. Sheesh.