Sunday Funnies

Click on the image for the full-size cartoon and story...

You know, just when you think you've seen it all at Wrigley Field.

Somewhere around the 7th or 8th during an Astros game, I'm in the men's room.

I'm sure you've heard the descriptions or even been there, but the layout includes a sort of 5' tall wall in the center of the room, and along both sides are long, metal troughs.

So, you wouldn't call this a place with alot of privacy.

Etiquette demands you look up or maybe straight ahead at the guy across from you.

But out of the corner of my eye I thought the guy next to me was looking in a little mirror or something weird.

Couldn't help it.

I looked.

Guy was writing an email.

Just hangin' free, both hands emailing away and peeing at the same time.

He was so engrossed he didn't notice me staring.

On one hand, maybe it was admirable: not wasting baseball-viewing time with emailing.

On the other hand, he was probably on Twitter, writing "I am peeing in the men's room at Wrigley..."

But without either hand, it was just plain gross.

I scooched down away from him since I was wearing flip-flops.

 Tim Souers is the illustrator and author of Cubby Blue and appreciates the opportunity to guest blog here at The Cub Reporter.


nice cartoon but if it is supposed to be Wrigley shouldn't there be an Alien or Predator type thing coming screaming out of the toilet and cutting his nads off with huge incisors?

He's got a hands-free device.

Ryno gets "Post of the Day" award!

didn't Illinois legislature just pass a law prohibiting this?

Illinois House Bill 71
This bill was approved by the House and Senate in May of 2009 and now (July of 2009) and just signed into law by the Governor. House Bill 71, titled "Use of Electronic Communication Devices While Peeing" on the National Conference of State Legislatures NCLS website amends the Illinois code to prohibit the use of electronic communication devices while trough urinating, specifically.

gotta like Tim's designs on this guy too...

This one has always been my favorite:

i was suppose to post that one last week, but techinical difficulties and me going on vacation prevented it.

Might it be a good idea for the Cubs to make a run at John Smoltz? He was DFA'd earlier this week.

True, he's been piss poor for the Red Sox this year, but he's been relatively effective the first time through the line up in his eight starts. Maybe he could be effective in the Cubs bullpen. Plus, he'd be cheap. Boston will be on the hook for the majority of his $5.5 million contract.

I don't know what it would take to get Smoltz, but I can't imagine it would be much.

Smoltz as a reliever? You're crazy. It'd never work.

You're right, TJ. I don't know what I was thinking.

Someone is going to have to help me on the rules surrounding DFAs. Does Smoltz have to accept the DFA? I'm almost positive he doesn't because of his year of service.

If he refuses the DFA, does he become a FA at that point? Once he's a FA, is Boston on the hook any longer for his contract?

I think my original thoughts were that once he was DFA'd, he could be dealt without clearing waivers. However, I think I was wrong.

Theriot, Bradley, DLee, Fox (3B), Fuku, Soriano, Baker, Hill and Wells

RICH HILL had his labrum surgery and as it turned out his shoulder wasn't as bad as previously thought once they got a look.

terrible DP call costs Cubs a run...

Vintage Lou today on the ridiculous blown call on the double play in the second. Thanks umpires... not only can we not keep the team healthy, but we have the umpires playing against us too.

Cubs got Gucci-bagged and Lou got tossed...cost the cubs a run

3 innings 3 errors, Go Defense Go

17 hits
Bradley and Theriot combine for 6/10 at the top of the order
The 3,4,5 hitters all have two hit days
We get 5 doubles and a triple
7 hitters have multi-hit days

how do we turn all that into only 4 runs?

butt ugly today. if the team can't find a way to play .500 or better on the road, ain't no way they make the playoffs.

Re Sunday Funnies, wasn't this story posted once already?

If they can win tomorrow, they can still amazingly finish this trip 5-5. Feels more like 2-8.

I know it sucks to lose but maybe Bradley likes the 2 hole. Could be all good if they can hang in there.

BTW, I really hate the fucking Cardinals. I'd like to see St. Louis drop its dirty wad into the Mississippi and float into the gulf and get blown up by colliding into a fucking oil rig.

Other than that I'm feeling pretty well at peace.

It's funny how having far-and-away the best player in baseball tends to make your team a contender every year, regardless of what's around him. Sucks for us.

also thinks WSox put claim in on Rios, Blue Jays won't move him unless they get something worthwhile for him. Retards.

Rays putting a lot of claims in on low-salary players to block Rsox/Yanks...

and please take a new photo Danny Knobler...

nice photo...harvey pekar approves.

I would really be shocked if Rios gets pulled off of waivers. They have Snider waiting. Maybe Riccardi just can't admit to himself that he made a bad deal.

Levine says Lilly could be back the 17th, Z the 23rd...although he says Z could return when he's eligible to come off the DL, which in actuality is the 17th.

Submitted by Sweet Lou on Sun, 08/09/2009 - 12:00pm.

Someone is going to have to help me on the rules surrounding DFAs. Does Smoltz have to accept the DFA? I'm almost positive he doesn't because of his year of service.

If he refuses the DFA, does he become a FA at that point? Once he's a FA, is Boston on the hook any longer for his contract?

I think my original thoughts were that once he was DFA'd, he could be dealt without clearing waivers. However, I think I was wrong.


SWEET LOU: When a player is "Designated for Assignment" (DFA'd) it actually means he was placed on his club's Designated List. A player cannot refuse this assignment.

A player on the Designated List is removed from his club's MLB Active List (25-man roster) and MLB Reserve List (40-man roster), but continues to accrue MLB Service Time and continues to get paid while on the Designated List.

When a club places a player on the Designated List, it has ten days to either trade, release, or outright the player to the minors. (NOTE: If the player is not replaced on the 40-man roster by another player and if the player has minor league options remaining, he could be optioned to the minors, but that is rare).

During the ten days the player is on the Designated List, his club will try and trade the player and get something of value back in return (a player and/or cash). If the player isn't traded within ten days, the club has to place the player either on Outright Assignment Waivers or Outright Release Waivers, but if the player has at least five years of MLB Service Time, the player MUST be placed on Release Waivers because players with at least five years of MLB Service Time have the right to refuse an Outright Assignment to the minors and be returned to both the 25-man and 40-man roster, which obviously can't be done if the player was Designated for Assignment. (A player who is Designated for Assignment actually has to be traded within eight days, because it takes two days for a player to clear waivers).

Smoltz has way more than five years of MLB Service Time, so the Red Sox only option would be to trade or release him. So if Smoltz is not traded within eight days (and to get traded now he would also have to clear Trade Assignment Waivers because the July 31st non-waiver trade deadline has passed), he would have to be placed on Release Waivers.

If a player is placed on Release Waivers, he can be claimed for just $1 (one dollar), but the claiming club assumes 100% of the player's contract. Also, a player can decline a waiver claim off Release Waivers and become a free-agent, so players are almost never claimed off Release Waivers.

If a player is placed on Release Waivers and is not claimed, he becomes a free-agent and can sign with any club (this happened recently with B. J. Ryan), and the player's former club is responsible for paying the player's remaining salary minus the pro-rated portion of the MLB minimum salary that is paid by the player's new club.

AZPhil -- Thank you for the knowledge!

Recent comments

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  • based on what SF has been doing every other year lately, getting access to the postseason playoffs seems to be what's important. bring on dat short series!

    that said, skipping the sudden death 1-game WC would be nice from here on out.

  • I know what you are saying, but I feel compelled to point out that there's no such thing as luck, curses, etc. The Cubs this year have as good as a chance as the Pirates to move on to the next round. If the Cubs proceed to the next round or not tomorrow, it will not be because of luck, but because one team outlasted the other. When/if the Cubs are lucky enough to make it to the league series, that's where they may find their biggest challenge. The Dodgers have a good, deep pitching staff.

  • debuting the new format 1 game "sudden death" WC matchup at yankee stadium does a perfect job of showing the intense emotion and drama this game can be.

    that said, i'm ready to not see yankee stadium or hear fans at yankee stadium for another 5 and 1/2 months. at least i don't have to sit through the braves with their "tommy hawk chawp" this postseason.

  • i'd like to know why the internet radio feed of the game (which is always delayed by a few seconds at best) is almost a minute faster than the ESPN cable TV coverage. wtf?

  • i dont know what order they'll be in, but i pretty much expect fowler/schwarb/rizzo/bryant/montero/castro/lastella/arrieta. any change at all (aside from the first 4 guys) wouldn't shock me, though. coghlan is still a wildcard in the lineup joe could always march d.ross out there with very slow arrieta pitching.

  • Yup. Have to agree. Baseball, like golf, certainly has that psych component for the player. There is no real reason why a fielding position should affect a batting average. The Cubs are 106 years over due for a little luck. Don't you guys think so? Maybe the rookies can bring some dumb luck on.

  • probably stacking capable lefties vs cole while keeping the "hot" castro in the game. fwiw, he's 1-6 lifetime with 0 bb/k vs cole (double).

    i chalk bryant's issues at the plate while playing OF up to coincidence so far.

  • I will call your dead horse, "Trigger".

    In one game, when anything is possble, I am glad that Joe Maddon is our Manager.

    He knows the stats better than all of us. It would seem, IF La Stella gets the start at 3B, it will be only up to the point that they were to get the lead (crosses fingers). From everything I have read, the game will be managed like a hoops game: offense/defense. So expect La Stella to be out of the game by the 5th. This team is incredibly deep which is so surprising. We never woulda thunk it.

  • i don't know what their roster plans are, but j.herrera is out there practicing with the team.

    i can't imagine him making any roster, though. dude had 4 PA the entire month of sept. him being a good dude to be around while keeping the clubhouse loose seems to be his main role at this point.

  • I know it's my own personal dead horse to beat --but Bryant has been a lousy hitter when playing the OF this year. Given that it's his first playoff game, I really hope they keep him in his natural position and don't mess with his routine.

    Lousy as in 8-for-45 with one XBH and no HR. Small sample and all that -- but why take the chance?

  • hard to tell what's up given they'll probably want to stack as many good lefties into the lineup as possible.

    castro being a bit hot doesn't help things. if he was still cool they'd probably stick la stella at 2nd and call it a day.

  • Madden won't announce lineups but Stella is practicing at 3rd and Bryant in LF today. I'd rather see Bryant at 3rd but I guess Stella has been hotter than Coghlan.

    /edit. Though I guess they could be practicing this with the idea Stella would come in as a PH then double switch him to 3rd base and Bryant to LF. Hope that's the plan instead

  • I really like the sound of that idea about expanding the AFL to ten teams. Each org. gets to field more players.
    They should do that anyway, regardless of Adv. Instructs.

  • Dallas Beeler, Corey Black, David Garner, Pierce Johnson, Steve Perakslis, James Pugliese, Duane Underwood Jr, and Rob Zastryzny threw early-morning bullpen side-sessions at Riverview yesterday.  

    Underwood threw last, and received specific one-on-one instruction from pitching coach Mike Mason. 

  • HAGSAG: There are only five advanced instructs squads left, and presently the only "co-op" team operating is the Angels/Cubs.

    The league was originally established as a "parallel" league to the AFL (a sort of "junior AFL"), for players too advanced for traditional ("basic") instructs but who were unable to get placed on AFL rosters due to AFL player-limits.

  • He is but I would think it'd be better to start out with offense and then bring in Jackson and LaStella once they have a lead. Stella has very good PH #s too.