Sunday Funnies

Click on the image for the full-size cartoon and story...

You know, just when you think you've seen it all at Wrigley Field.

Somewhere around the 7th or 8th during an Astros game, I'm in the men's room.

I'm sure you've heard the descriptions or even been there, but the layout includes a sort of 5' tall wall in the center of the room, and along both sides are long, metal troughs.

So, you wouldn't call this a place with alot of privacy.

Etiquette demands you look up or maybe straight ahead at the guy across from you.

But out of the corner of my eye I thought the guy next to me was looking in a little mirror or something weird.

Couldn't help it.

I looked.

Guy was writing an email.

Just hangin' free, both hands emailing away and peeing at the same time.

He was so engrossed he didn't notice me staring.

On one hand, maybe it was admirable: not wasting baseball-viewing time with emailing.

On the other hand, he was probably on Twitter, writing "I am peeing in the men's room at Wrigley..."

But without either hand, it was just plain gross.

I scooched down away from him since I was wearing flip-flops.

 Tim Souers is the illustrator and author of Cubby Blue and appreciates the opportunity to guest blog here at The Cub Reporter.


nice cartoon but if it is supposed to be Wrigley shouldn't there be an Alien or Predator type thing coming screaming out of the toilet and cutting his nads off with huge incisors?

He's got a hands-free device.

Ryno gets "Post of the Day" award!

didn't Illinois legislature just pass a law prohibiting this?

Illinois House Bill 71
This bill was approved by the House and Senate in May of 2009 and now (July of 2009) and just signed into law by the Governor. House Bill 71, titled "Use of Electronic Communication Devices While Peeing" on the National Conference of State Legislatures NCLS website amends the Illinois code to prohibit the use of electronic communication devices while trough urinating, specifically.

gotta like Tim's designs on this guy too...

This one has always been my favorite:

i was suppose to post that one last week, but techinical difficulties and me going on vacation prevented it.

Might it be a good idea for the Cubs to make a run at John Smoltz? He was DFA'd earlier this week.

True, he's been piss poor for the Red Sox this year, but he's been relatively effective the first time through the line up in his eight starts. Maybe he could be effective in the Cubs bullpen. Plus, he'd be cheap. Boston will be on the hook for the majority of his $5.5 million contract.

I don't know what it would take to get Smoltz, but I can't imagine it would be much.

Smoltz as a reliever? You're crazy. It'd never work.

You're right, TJ. I don't know what I was thinking.

Someone is going to have to help me on the rules surrounding DFAs. Does Smoltz have to accept the DFA? I'm almost positive he doesn't because of his year of service.

If he refuses the DFA, does he become a FA at that point? Once he's a FA, is Boston on the hook any longer for his contract?

I think my original thoughts were that once he was DFA'd, he could be dealt without clearing waivers. However, I think I was wrong.

Theriot, Bradley, DLee, Fox (3B), Fuku, Soriano, Baker, Hill and Wells

RICH HILL had his labrum surgery and as it turned out his shoulder wasn't as bad as previously thought once they got a look.

terrible DP call costs Cubs a run...

Vintage Lou today on the ridiculous blown call on the double play in the second. Thanks umpires... not only can we not keep the team healthy, but we have the umpires playing against us too.

Cubs got Gucci-bagged and Lou got tossed...cost the cubs a run

3 innings 3 errors, Go Defense Go

17 hits
Bradley and Theriot combine for 6/10 at the top of the order
The 3,4,5 hitters all have two hit days
We get 5 doubles and a triple
7 hitters have multi-hit days

how do we turn all that into only 4 runs?

butt ugly today. if the team can't find a way to play .500 or better on the road, ain't no way they make the playoffs.

Re Sunday Funnies, wasn't this story posted once already?

If they can win tomorrow, they can still amazingly finish this trip 5-5. Feels more like 2-8.

I know it sucks to lose but maybe Bradley likes the 2 hole. Could be all good if they can hang in there.

BTW, I really hate the fucking Cardinals. I'd like to see St. Louis drop its dirty wad into the Mississippi and float into the gulf and get blown up by colliding into a fucking oil rig.

Other than that I'm feeling pretty well at peace.

It's funny how having far-and-away the best player in baseball tends to make your team a contender every year, regardless of what's around him. Sucks for us.

also thinks WSox put claim in on Rios, Blue Jays won't move him unless they get something worthwhile for him. Retards.

Rays putting a lot of claims in on low-salary players to block Rsox/Yanks...

and please take a new photo Danny Knobler...

nice photo...harvey pekar approves.

I would really be shocked if Rios gets pulled off of waivers. They have Snider waiting. Maybe Riccardi just can't admit to himself that he made a bad deal.

Levine says Lilly could be back the 17th, Z the 23rd...although he says Z could return when he's eligible to come off the DL, which in actuality is the 17th.

Submitted by Sweet Lou on Sun, 08/09/2009 - 12:00pm.

Someone is going to have to help me on the rules surrounding DFAs. Does Smoltz have to accept the DFA? I'm almost positive he doesn't because of his year of service.

If he refuses the DFA, does he become a FA at that point? Once he's a FA, is Boston on the hook any longer for his contract?

I think my original thoughts were that once he was DFA'd, he could be dealt without clearing waivers. However, I think I was wrong.


SWEET LOU: When a player is "Designated for Assignment" (DFA'd) it actually means he was placed on his club's Designated List. A player cannot refuse this assignment.

A player on the Designated List is removed from his club's MLB Active List (25-man roster) and MLB Reserve List (40-man roster), but continues to accrue MLB Service Time and continues to get paid while on the Designated List.

When a club places a player on the Designated List, it has ten days to either trade, release, or outright the player to the minors. (NOTE: If the player is not replaced on the 40-man roster by another player and if the player has minor league options remaining, he could be optioned to the minors, but that is rare).

During the ten days the player is on the Designated List, his club will try and trade the player and get something of value back in return (a player and/or cash). If the player isn't traded within ten days, the club has to place the player either on Outright Assignment Waivers or Outright Release Waivers, but if the player has at least five years of MLB Service Time, the player MUST be placed on Release Waivers because players with at least five years of MLB Service Time have the right to refuse an Outright Assignment to the minors and be returned to both the 25-man and 40-man roster, which obviously can't be done if the player was Designated for Assignment. (A player who is Designated for Assignment actually has to be traded within eight days, because it takes two days for a player to clear waivers).

Smoltz has way more than five years of MLB Service Time, so the Red Sox only option would be to trade or release him. So if Smoltz is not traded within eight days (and to get traded now he would also have to clear Trade Assignment Waivers because the July 31st non-waiver trade deadline has passed), he would have to be placed on Release Waivers.

If a player is placed on Release Waivers, he can be claimed for just $1 (one dollar), but the claiming club assumes 100% of the player's contract. Also, a player can decline a waiver claim off Release Waivers and become a free-agent, so players are almost never claimed off Release Waivers.

If a player is placed on Release Waivers and is not claimed, he becomes a free-agent and can sign with any club (this happened recently with B. J. Ryan), and the player's former club is responsible for paying the player's remaining salary minus the pro-rated portion of the MLB minimum salary that is paid by the player's new club.

AZPhil -- Thank you for the knowledge!

Recent comments

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  • i'm not ready for it to end.

    i'm not ready for "well, they weren't supposed to make it this year..."

    i'm not ready to talk about the off-season yet.

  • I can relate to that, E-Man. I don't think I'll enjoy watching a high-stakes away game like this on TV. I've watched a lot of games this season after they ended or at least after the Cubs got out to a decent lead. Since they usually win, I've gotten to see a lot of baseball.

    But in this case I think we should probably all watch the game live, and not let the pressure exceed the pleasure.

  • Remember, as I told my wife when our kids went off to college -- this is a good thing! Enjoy it!

  • Fully agree -- can't prove it. But, the numbers are what they are, and a lot of his OF games have come in Aug & Sept, when he has been killing the ball otherwise. And, knowing how baseball players love routine, it seems logical that it could at least be a a factor.

    Really, really, really hope I'm wrong on this.

  • Indeed! It has been absolute blast -- from getting swept by the Phillies to sweeping the Giants, I have always enjoyed being part of this group. Hope we have a lot more games to talk about this year.

  • Yes, cheers to me! I've noticed a fairly strong correlation between my tenure and Cubbie victories. 

    And thanks to Michael for our new diggs--and to y'all for sticking around! 

  • CHEERS to CT Steve for keeping this alive in 2015. Who would have thought that the season would have been so successful to this point? Thank you CT STEVE!

    I think I may be too nervous to watch the entire game. I will probably watch in bits and pieces - and constantly check MLB App. I will be like Blockhead: Nervous Nellie.

  • You can't prove the performance is because he played the OF. You just can't. Sorry.

    BTW, Bryant hit .168 in July playing 3B exclusively.

  • oh man, early on it seems like he made at least 1 stupid baserunning blunder per game and almost every single one turned into a positive for the cubs. it was magical.

  • Not surprised about Lester but bit surprised about Hendricks. Guessing that if something happens to Arietta right away they go to Lester but if they've burned relievers and are in extra innings they go to Hendricks.

  • My kids' 8:30pm (ET) bed time will be waived tonight (They are Rizzo & Castro fans). We'll get geared up in our Cubs apparel and will watch this as a family. I am stoked. Go Cubs!

  • Bryant: Base running adventures.

  • Remember Bryant's home-away splits, too.

    Wrigley: 21 HR, 59 RBI, .311/.408/.629
    Road: 5 HR, 40 RBI, .243/.333/.360

  • Good Lord this season has flown by so far. I need more Cubs gifs--the four on the article today are not enough. I need a 100 best moments of the season listicle of gifs.
    Rizzo: The slide, the catch.
    Russell: All the defense.
    Bryant: Pelting the video board.
    Soler: 125 MPH ground balls.
    Schwarber: DINGERS, surprising LF catches.
    Fowler: Walks, the many walks he should have had on 3-2 BS strike calls.
    Baez: That 3B play.
    Ross: Walk-up music? Bullpen appearance?
    Denorfia: Walk-off.
    Castro: Walk-offs.

  • No evidence other than 8 hits and 0 HR in 45 AB....

    I just think hitters like their routines -- think Boggs or Ted Williams -- and messing with that routine adds an element of change. I want my best hitters in their normal routines.

  • evidently i was busy burying context and meaning.

    i was excited about this playoff season kicking up in the drama of that environment, but it was stated insanely muddled.