Your 2010 Cubs: What To Expect
Hello, everyone! I'm Lizzy: Native Virginian, devoted Cubs fan, and author of a blog called The Fair Base Ballist. I was supposed to make a guest post here when Rob G. was on vacation, but technical difficulties prevented my doing so. I spent a good chunk of time hammering out individual player projections for 2010, and Rob has been kind enough to let me go ahead and post them. I hope you'll enjoy, and please contribute your own ideas to mine (especially for the mystery bench player who is likely to be announced 5 minutes after I publish this. I have omitted the 4 candidates for brevity's sake.)
Without further fanfare, your 2010 Chicago Cubs previews. They are all 100% serious.
Big Z is going into the 2010 season with an improved physique and
attitude. I say he tallies 4 homers before the All Star break and
starts to take up knitting.
Will hit a home run this season... possibly his first game back.
14-7, 3.69 ERA, 1.28 WHIP, 19 QS, 190 K, 206.2 IP, 24 QP (Quality
Pranks,) 13 NSQP (Not-So Quality Pranks.)
Will pick a road alias based on a Will Ferrell character and think
he's soo-ooo clever for it.
The slack jawed southpaw will sneak undetected into Wrigley several
times in the middle of the night to catch lightning bugs.
I'm not going to name any names, but certain Cubs beat reporters are
already looking forward to writing pieces on Carlos' hitting under
the headline “Silva Slugger.”
The Shark will fall in love with a charming south-side shopkeeper who
knows nothing about baseball. This will inadvertently put his career
on the right track. Ah, the power of love!
Write this down: On August 17th
Randy Wells will eat some bad pasta primavera at a sketchy San Diego
bistro (he will have heard that the chef there was reputable, a sad
bit of misinformation.) Violently ill on August 18th,
Randy will be unable to make his scheduled start. Sean Marshall,
unsurprisingly, is the last minute replacement. He will take a
no-hitter into the 8th
inning. With 2 outs, he will lose the bid on a blasted infield single
to stupid Will Venable. He'll still end up with a 2-hit shutout.
Here's your daily dose of optimism, courtesy of Dr. Liz: Not only
will Marmol hold down the closer position for the entire 2010 season,
he will be the second best
in our division and we'll all be angry in July when he isn't selected
as an All Star.
Will watch “Memento” and get all weirded out, because he's
John G., too!
That smile will take him far.
May we please call Justin “Pika-Cheeks” for obvious reasons?
Y'know, I think, y'know, that's Geo's gonna have a much better,
y'know, year this year. Because, y'know, he lost all that, y'know,
weight, and just seems really motivated, y'know?
At one point in '09, video footage surfaced of Koyie standing atop
Wrigley's scoreboard and tossing off frisbees. Remember that? Well,
stay tuned, 'cause this year Koyie's gonna try the same thing with
Will continue to make striking out look good.
Font and Z will go on being special buddies.
Would rather not make a prediction as it might turn out to be wrong.
Things will get awkward between The Riot and several of his teammates
as they catch him interviewing himself in the bathroom mirror
I can't say what I'm thinking or I'll jinx it.
In the time that Soriano spends on the DL this season, he will learn
to play the glass harmonica and release his own self-titled album.
All profits will go toward the preservation of endangered sea
Will smile, and make merry, and win over the masses whether he
performs well or not. Because Marlon has won me
over already, I am thoroughly convinced he's gonna be awesome.
Kosuke will hold a press conference in mid-May and divulge that his
young son suffers from an extremely rare disease which causes his
face to resemble that of a cute animated bear.
I will doodle his name all over everything for as long as he is
donning Cubby blue.
With any luck, Mr. Colvin will prove that his spring performance has
not been a fluke, and none of us will feel too bad when Soriano
inevitably pulls, strains, sprains, and/or fractures various parts of
Although he was raised in the Dominican Republic, you may not know
that Starlin was actually born
on the “Lost” island... under a rainbow... on Christmas. He is
endowed with a bat of silver, a glove of gold, the mind of a wizard,
and the heart of a Newfoundland puppy. He will descend upon Chicago
like an enormous trophy-shaped cloud on a scorching summer day. He
will win you over with a flash of his bat, leather, and boyish smile.
Within 2 weeks of his debut, Baseball Tonight will quit selecting the
day's top Web Gems (what's the point when all 10 belong to the same
player?) Over the second half, Starlin will become the owner of a
70-game hit streak and a .464 batting average. A few journalists will
question the naturalness of these feats, but Starlin will click his
heels together 3 times and they'll all vanish into thin air. If,
after all this, you are one of Starlin's few remaining doubters, he
will fly to your home on the back of a magical rocking-horse and
sprinkle you with an enchanted mixture of star dust and goat ash
while you're sleeping.
By 2020, he shall have a World Series ring for each finger, 10 MVP
awards, and a lovely alcove reserved for him in the Hall of Fame. He
will play every year at the league minimum salary, continually
rejecting colossal pay-days, because he just wants to play for the
love of the game. When Starlin's career finally concludes, his jersey
number will be universally retired (Not just from baseball, but from
Maybe Theo will sign Shark just so he can call Billy Beane and say: "Let's see...Russell? Check. McKinney? Check. Hammel? Check. Ninja? Check. Any other deals?"
To be fair to Emery and Trestman the foreshadowing of last year started happening well before them with the failure or mismanaging of multiple draft classes forcing the team to overspend in a free agency market that is even worse than baseball. Kyle Long seems like a good pick but they traded away another good one in Olson because of Martz's stupidity and inability to change his offense to fit the team talent.
HAGSAG: I think Domonic Brown does fit the criteria of a reclamation project, but unless he is willing to accept a minor league contract with an NRI to Spring Training, I don't think the Cubs would be interested given where the Cubs are right now. A couple of years ago? Yes. But probably not now.
Brown would be better-off going to a club that is rebuilding and re-establish his value there, like Chris Coghlan did with the Cubs. And if he can re-establish his value, he could get traded to a contender at the trade deadline and take it from there.
"they just fade away"
(Except in the cases of no-fade lefties like Moyer, Orosco and Rich Hill.)
Amazing to me how quickly it fell apart under Trestman. Year 1, they were a Chris Conte brain fart away from making the playoffs. Year 2 -- coach, staff and GM all fired.
I am sure Jonathon Mota will be signed next.
AZ Phil, what is your thoughts on Domonic Brown as a reclamation project?
He also played LF in deference to Curtis Granderson.
Meh... other moves to make...hope to see a move or two soon.
I haven't seen much Bears football this year - difficult to watch the games out here, but the game I saw the week before I was watching in shock as I saw them actually make tackles. And Cutler has looked really good, too.
I guess people can quibble about play calling, but the team I saw is way more than 50% better coached (my only very minor disagreement with your comment).
Under Trestman, the team didn't do anything right. This team played like a well coached team when I saw them play the Rams.
"What is sometimes overlooked about Vogelbach because of his "bad body" and because he has struggled so much defensively is that he is a hard worker, has a great attitude, loves to play the game, and is very well-liked by his teammates, and while that may not seem important, teams do actually value stuff like that. "
As well they should. Replace a word here and there and you are describing any worker someone would hire.
Hak-Ju Lee signs a minor league contract with SF Giants.
Some closure on the 6 degrees of Separation for Matt Garza/Chris Archer
-0.3 WAR in 7.1ip last year...
-3 WAR projected over the course of a season.
the cubs just added an all-star reliever's worth of work by losing b.schlitter.
Rockies sign Brian Schlitter to a minor league contract. Good luck in Coors Field. Enough said.
i'll take him over frandy since it's unlikely he'll progress as a SS (and 2nd isn't looking much better).
i hope patton's delivery deception skills play well in the bigs over time. cubs need pitching options that are MLB-ready and dude fits the bill for a MLB/AAA mix...both needed.
I'm not saying he's great, but can we agree on the word "decent"? Became a pro at 23, called up at 26; nothing wrong with that trajectory, he hasn't been knocking around. Even in the majors his SO9 is 9.7. In the minors it's 12.2, so he's always missed bats, and without being a wild man: his walks are low. He cost the Cubs an unheralded A-ball middle infielder and a roster spot.