Alfonso Soriano and the Kaplan Conspiracy

LIfe is better when the Cubs win, but failure has a way of stoking a Cub fan's creativity, doesn't it? This dramatic reinterpretation of a call into David Kaplan's post-game "Tenth Inning" show is the work of WGN listener Edwardo, who was clearly inspired by Comedy Central's "Crank Yankers."

Comments

Wow. Kaplan isn't taking the canceling of Sports Central well.

No biggie. Kap wasn't very enjoyable after Tom Waddle left the show anyway. I do give him credit for airing a lot of Baseball Prospectus guys, though.

I also give him credit for having a panel of Cub bloggers on with him this past spring on Sports Central, including Andy from desipio.com, who has ripped on Kaplan often, enthusiastically, and to great comic effect.

To be honest, I can't think of another Chicago sports radio guy I would rather listen to than Kaplan. Except maybe Les Grobstein, and Les is a different kind of sports radio guy. In fact, I think he is another species altogether.

"To be honest, I can't think of another Chicago sports radio guy I would rather listen to than Kaplan."

Tall midgets are still rather short.

He should have gotten them on with Ruben Amaro. The Phillies just made a guy who has ranked 27th and 49th among offensive players over the last two years the NL's highest paid player. Chase Utley must be salivating.

Moly Holy, that's a big contract to a big man. What will Prince Fielder get in free agency now?

A lot of green, that's for sure.

Vegan joke!!

Now there's something I never thought I would see: The word "inspired" in the same sentence as Comedy Central's Crank Yankers.

Long hair on Kaplan. :) haha

ss theriot, 2b baker, 1b lee, cf byrd, 3b ramirez, lf soriano, c soto, rf colvin, p silva

lefty going tonight in Lannan...

Maybe they're just trying to find playing time for Colvin? It doesn't seem like the best way to do it, but the Cubs have a surprising surplus of everyday outfielders right now.

Seeing if he can hit lefties I guess.

Pretty small sample size.

I just read somewhere that Lannan is AWFUL against lefties. Lefties are hitting over 500 against him, and righties are at about 250...
I wish I remembered where I read that... Obviously Lou didn't read it...
P.S. Here it is...
http://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/gameday/index.jsp?gid=...

well if Lou read that, he'd play Fukudome, Colvin and Fontenot then today...

Wow. Just looked up his career splits:
in 1451 PAs by RHB: .257/.328/.384
in 463 PAs by LHB: .291/.357/.501

But the BABIPs are very different, .267 by RHB and .320 by LHB. How does that work when looking at pitchers? And the BB:K totals are more what you'd expect, 132:146 by RHB and 35:79 by LHBs, obviously LHB striking out much more frequently given the less than 1/3 as many PAs.

[Edit: He's really been rocked by lefties so far this year. Only 26 PAs, but .542/.538/.792 line for a 1.330 OPS. He's had reverse splits every year so far, which would seem to indicate the BABIP is the result of his pitching and not the result of luck.]

I was going to check Fangraphs for pitch types, then realize those are rarely accurate.

I believe Lannan's best pitch is his change-up, that tends to be down and in on a lefty in their happy zone, hence the troubles (possibly or it's just bad luck).

See how many breaking balls he throws Colvin I guess...

1. Nyjer Morgan, CF
2. Adam Kennedy, 3B
3. Cristian Guzman, 2B
4. Adam Dunn, 1B
5. Josh Willingham, LF
6. Ivan Rodriguez, C
7. Ian Desmond, SS
8. Willy Taveras, RF
9. John Lannan, P

Guzman batting 3rd, commence laughter

http://sports.espn.go.com/chicago/mlb/news/st...

Z says he was assured stay in pen is temporary until a trade can be made...

Z for Vernon Wells?

Har.

I wonder if Ryan Howard's new contract means that Hendry will let D Lee go after next year and try to swing a trade for Ryan Howard. I'm trying to think of an equally bad contract the Cubs have (scratches head).

you realize that scenario makes no sense. If the Phils wanted to move Howard, you don't sign him to an untradeable contract.

Oh, I know it doesn't make sense.

Makes no sense to me. I'd rather have Vernon Wells or Soriano under contract than Ryan Howard for 25 per year.

Probably at least a 10 million per year overpay.

http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/worklife/04/24...

If Lackey misses any significant time due to surgery on a pre-existing elbow injury during the first five years of the contract, the Red Sox gain a club option for the 2015 season in which Lackey would have to pitch for the major league minimum salary.

among others...

Is it me or is Big Z showing signs of serenity now and insanity later?

Is it me or is Big Z showing signs of serenity now and insanity later?

He pitched well tonight - I am sure it's not really, but it seems like the first 8th inning of the year that we didn't give up a run.

Just 2.5 back now with 142 to play!

Hoochie mamma!

~ata boy, Lloyd!~

Recent comments

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  • I agree completely with Dusty. I appreciate him much more as the Nats skipper than as the Cubs.

  • so, what you're saying is you keep bringing up something over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over like you did with this issue for years back in the day...and obviously still into today...

    ...but that's fine if you do it.

    brb, forming my next dozen replies for why you should shut up and never say anything about it again...oh wait, no i'm not because i'm not hanging around looking to tell you to shut up about repeating the same thing over and over and over and over...

  • Heyward looked fine shagging flies in BP. Wouldn't surprise me to see him in the line up tomorrow.

  • this seems like it could be an interesting series...parachat worthy.

  • speed leads...nothing ever changes. that's been a dusty thing since...forever.

    holy shit, really? I made the comment because I had just discovered this novel trait that Dusty possesses.

    btw, check out the leadoff hitter of the WS champion KC last year.

    waaaat????? again with the knowledge dropping, I literally had no idea.

  • speed leads...nothing ever changes. that's been a dusty thing since...forever.

    worst part is he's barely a speedster...just the best fitting.

    btw, check out the leadoff hitter of the WS champion KC last year.

  • Gotta make sure you're not clogging up those bases.

  • from the tweetbox

    "Sometimes people appreciate you more when you're gone than when you were here." --Dusty Baker

    makes me want to bring back Cubs' Quotations of the Week

    http://www.thecubreporter.com/2009/04/26/cubs-quotations-week

    http://www.thecubreporter.com/site/cubs-quotes-week

    http://www.thecubreporter.com/site/cubs-week-quotations

  • Guess the OBP of Dusty's lead off hitter tonight?

    ?

    ?

    ?

    ?

    .221/.272 for his career

  • CRAIG: Albertos was throwing both his fastball and curve for strikes today, displaying the best command I've seen from him so far. The Cubs have limited his outings at EXST, so he hasn't been stretched-out beyond one inning on a semi-regular basis.  

  • K-K-K inning for Albertos, 9/13 strikes. How did he look? All fastballs, or did he get some breaking pitches for the K's?

    Is Moreno showing any hint of improved velocity?

  • Awesome! Also, dammit! I just finished a Russell verse!

    I’m Addison Russell, flashin’ leather and muscle
    Hit a grounder up the middle, damn right ya better hustle
    I don’t miss, you know this, my D is the dopest,
    I’m lovin’ it and glovin’ it and shovelin’ it to Zobrist
    Another twin killing, score it six-four-three
    If I keep this up they’ll name another street for me
    There ain’t no SS better than Russell
    And I’m just here to do the World Series Shuffle

  • Awww shit, it's Tony Rizzle, my nizzle,
    so hot at the plate that, you can damn near hear me sizzle.
    Len and JD been calling me the main ingredient
    and opposing pitchers know the IBB is just expedient.
    And if the ump is a chump and I find myself down
    0-2 I'll choke up, still make the pitcher look a clown;
    got this lightning in my wrists, the pitch inside just can't 'cuff me,
    hitting longballs up until we do the World Series Shuffle.

  • I just was looking at the Times Home page today, and was reading about (RIP) Prince. Didn't catch the Sports...

  • Yup to that. Also really unfortunate Soler just has not been able to grab this opportunity by the balls.

  • ...and Kalish with the start over Soler. Wow.