Cub Fans: Go Garden Instead of Killing Someone
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I was driving home from work Friday when a hapless woman slammed on her brakes, blocking the right lane, just past an entrance to the auto mechanic's place where she wanted to go. The car behind her was bumper to bumper, too close to pull around. The car behind that car was me, in the same predicament, only I was a Cub Fan and the Cubs had just lost to the Pirates again.
The woman wanting to go into the auto mechanic's place had apparently decided she'd wait until traffic cleared behind her so she could back up, rather than go around the block.
The Rage, it just took over.
I started blaring my horn at second #3.
I also had my top down, which gave me the luxury of yelling, which happened at about second #7.
By the time I could pull out into the left lane, little bits of stuff between my teeth were flying out my mouth while I let out a constant stream of full volume profanity which I'm sure you couldn't really hear because of the horn. When I got parallel, I stopped in the left lane (not caring about the traffic behind me), and with all the veins popping out of my neck told her in so many words that I thought she wasn't a very smart person.
And when she looked at me I didn't get the satisfaction of her being mad back because she looked... like she was looking at a crazy man.
How long had I been trapped there? Maybe 15 seconds.
And that's when I realized I'd lost it.
Which is why today is a perfect day to go garden with the game on your transistor.
Cubs on 1st and 3rd with one out and Aramis hits into a double play? Take your freaking hoe and whack the ground with all your might.
John Grabow comes in and walks the first two with the Cubs up by one in the 6th? Shovel like Cool Hand Luke in the prison line.
Get on your knees with that spade in both hands and plunge it into the dirty black heart of wasted run opportunity and pitching incompetence.
By the time the game's over, you'll be spent and even if the Cubs drop another one, the tomatoes will be planted.
Tim Souers work can be regularly found at Cubby Blue.
👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌there👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my self 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌👌🎩👓🎩👍🎩👓🎩👍🎩 euphoric logic !euphoric loGic👌 thats ✔ some euphoric👌💻 logic right👌💻there👌👍👌 Carl 🔭 Sagan🌌💫if i do ƽaү so gentlemen 💯 i say so 💯 thats euPhoric logic right there Richard 📒 Dawkins🎩 (chorus: socrates died for this shit) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👓👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌🎩 👌 💯 👌 👓🎩🎩🎩 👍👌euphoric logic slam me the FUCK uP 👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 john cena JOhN cEna
You can start the CRUNCH EARLY AM REPORTER. Then you can blog to yourself, and argue with yourself about Jon Lester.
my current job has me coming in at 7am (eastern)...i miss staying up til 2am to watch west coast games.
Remember when west coast road trips were a good time to catch up on some reading?
Taboola field is more appropriate.
we can only hope...
The things you have to do to pay for James Shields contract.
I wonder if they'll have to make use of the Guaranteed Rate logo, which is a giant red arrow pointing downward.
unsurprisingly, the White Sox continue a tradition of stupid stuff....
@DannyEcker BREAKING: Guaranteed Rate has purchased naming rights to U.S. Cellular Field. Will be known as Guaranteed Rate Field thru 2030.
that was a very kind 3rd strike to hendricks to end the 3rd.
man on 3rd, 0 outs and got 2 pop-ups and a K...Maddux-lite indeed
how did Fowler not score from 2nd on a double?
by making bad decisions...
he held on a popup (in case he needed to tag up) that bounced off the wall then jogged to 3rd. there were 0 outs so that probably played into the casual nature of how he played it.
Not watching -- how did Fowler not score from 2nd on a double?
Well I assume Ross is going to catch Lester in the playoffs, and it looks like Contreras is going to catch everyone else. I could see the Cubs keeping three catchers on the playoff roster as it would give them flexibility and Montero would have a left handed bat with some pop (at least historically) off the bench.
Aren't Montero and Ross already in a tie for third catcher?
Higher than Chris Perez's mailbox.