Cub Fans: Go Garden Instead of Killing Someone
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I was driving home from work Friday when a hapless woman slammed on her brakes, blocking the right lane, just past an entrance to the auto mechanic's place where she wanted to go. The car behind her was bumper to bumper, too close to pull around. The car behind that car was me, in the same predicament, only I was a Cub Fan and the Cubs had just lost to the Pirates again.
The woman wanting to go into the auto mechanic's place had apparently decided she'd wait until traffic cleared behind her so she could back up, rather than go around the block.
The Rage, it just took over.
I started blaring my horn at second #3.
I also had my top down, which gave me the luxury of yelling, which happened at about second #7.
By the time I could pull out into the left lane, little bits of stuff between my teeth were flying out my mouth while I let out a constant stream of full volume profanity which I'm sure you couldn't really hear because of the horn. When I got parallel, I stopped in the left lane (not caring about the traffic behind me), and with all the veins popping out of my neck told her in so many words that I thought she wasn't a very smart person.
And when she looked at me I didn't get the satisfaction of her being mad back because she looked... like she was looking at a crazy man.
How long had I been trapped there? Maybe 15 seconds.
And that's when I realized I'd lost it.
Which is why today is a perfect day to go garden with the game on your transistor.
Cubs on 1st and 3rd with one out and Aramis hits into a double play? Take your freaking hoe and whack the ground with all your might.
John Grabow comes in and walks the first two with the Cubs up by one in the 6th? Shovel like Cool Hand Luke in the prison line.
Get on your knees with that spade in both hands and plunge it into the dirty black heart of wasted run opportunity and pitching incompetence.
By the time the game's over, you'll be spent and even if the Cubs drop another one, the tomatoes will be planted.
Tim Souers work can be regularly found at Cubby Blue.
Hey, whatta bout me?
....and Theo thought EJax, Sveum and Ricky were good ideas. Win some, lose some.
I thought he was better than Archer?
/f u Hendry
The Padres signed RHP Trey McNutt to a minor league contract...
Yeah, she's a good egg. The whole superdelegate thing is shady as fuck though.
the perks of being a
big fundraisermodel representative citizen.
honestly, though...the dnc could do worse and she's involved in all kinds of dem party stuff.
I didn't realize Laura Ricketts is a superdelegate.
pretty much...also agree that it wouldn't surprise me to see him land with the cubs, too.
the trade to free up room for him would be interesting.
holy crap...j.mejia got busted AGAIN for PEDs.
3rd time...lifetime ban.
oddly...or not...fowler's been strongly linked to the O's lately.
The Cubs have claimed C.J. Riefenhauser LHP on waivers from the Orioles. Edgar Olmos was again DFA.