Cub Fans: Go Garden Instead of Killing Someone
(click on the image to see the full-size version)
I was driving home from work Friday when a hapless woman slammed on her brakes, blocking the right lane, just past an entrance to the auto mechanic's place where she wanted to go. The car behind her was bumper to bumper, too close to pull around. The car behind that car was me, in the same predicament, only I was a Cub Fan and the Cubs had just lost to the Pirates again.
The woman wanting to go into the auto mechanic's place had apparently decided she'd wait until traffic cleared behind her so she could back up, rather than go around the block.
The Rage, it just took over.
I started blaring my horn at second #3.
I also had my top down, which gave me the luxury of yelling, which happened at about second #7.
By the time I could pull out into the left lane, little bits of stuff between my teeth were flying out my mouth while I let out a constant stream of full volume profanity which I'm sure you couldn't really hear because of the horn. When I got parallel, I stopped in the left lane (not caring about the traffic behind me), and with all the veins popping out of my neck told her in so many words that I thought she wasn't a very smart person.
And when she looked at me I didn't get the satisfaction of her being mad back because she looked... like she was looking at a crazy man.
How long had I been trapped there? Maybe 15 seconds.
And that's when I realized I'd lost it.
Which is why today is a perfect day to go garden with the game on your transistor.
Cubs on 1st and 3rd with one out and Aramis hits into a double play? Take your freaking hoe and whack the ground with all your might.
John Grabow comes in and walks the first two with the Cubs up by one in the 6th? Shovel like Cool Hand Luke in the prison line.
Get on your knees with that spade in both hands and plunge it into the dirty black heart of wasted run opportunity and pitching incompetence.
By the time the game's over, you'll be spent and even if the Cubs drop another one, the tomatoes will be planted.
Tim Souers work can be regularly found at Cubby Blue.
Well I guess if pitchers can keep working the edges of the plate to perfection it will be a long season. But that doesn't seem likely. Rizzo finally, fully, snapping out of it would help.
If I didn't believe in coincidences (or science), I would apologize to Gordon Downie--one of my favorites. Sad news about a great talent.
Hi Arizona Phil,
Has there been any news on Oscar de la Cruz' health?
O&B: Cease was apparently working on his off-speed pitches in his first & thrd innings, because in his second inning of work he just blew the D'backs away with high-velocity gas (that's when he hit 99-100 and struck out the side).
Wow, Lyin' CTSteve? He was just BEGGING for my endorsement last year! Lame!
1. I did not say the thing I insisted that Trans write down and attribute to me, or it was taken out of context.
2. Trans and his "roast" (aka, a Salisbury steak TV dinner by Swanson) are very low energy.
3. Make TCR great again.
Yeah, I'm fine if I don't hear another one, furlong time.
nice recap, horrible game...i hope to never hear another horse pun/joke for at least a decade.
Recap posted. ~sigh~
THAT WAS TURRIBLE.
Ok, fine. I'll do a recap.
Thanks for the post AZ. That's a huge attendance. Scouts must be excited about somebody.
Would you say Cease's performance was a result of working on his change or was it just a bad outing? And isn't Ademan some ridiculous age, like 17 or something?What are your thoughts on him?
LOL and yes. No need to even be that formal, can just say "Trans, keep my name out of this abomination of a discussion."
Carrie Muskat Verified account
Shane Victorino was released. Will have more details later. He was on Iowa #Cubs roster
wonder if he was released to retire or to try to latch on with someone else...