Lou Piniella: The Old Man and the Sea Monkeys

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THE OLD MAN AND THE SEA MONKEYS by Tim Hemingway, rough draft.

The old man shouted.

"How did I get here? One day I was in sunny Florida trying to catch a great fish, and now I am here with my Sea Monkeys who will not listen, will not execute, will not do what I say. And every day the reporters come, and they ask why, why do your Sea Monkey not listen, not execute, not do what you say?" 

Let us watch the team first said the old man without saying anything but rather by simply turning his head towards the play.

The Sea Monkey on first, he began running when the ball was struck, and the ball went to the Sea Monkey second baseman, who threw the ball to the wrong Sea Monkey, who threw the ball to the other wrong Sea Monkey, who was covering for another Sea Monkey, and the Sea Monkey on base ran on by, because there was no Sea Monkey at home.

The old man shouted.

"Why? Why did this happen? I have never seen or heard of such a play except when I was a young boy, playing with a mighty stick and weathered ball in the summer streets of my home town of Florida, sunny Florida."

Ahh, that's enough, and I apologize to the Ghost of Ernest for my blasphemy.

I got an email from the guy I split season tix with that said basically: do I want any tickets for the rest of the month since he doesn't plan on going and wants to put them up on Stub Hub before the value plummets further.

The point of this post, I think, is this: Lou should go.

When you're the leader and you have no answers, you should step down.

And when you can't fire the whole team, you should fire the manager.

Or as Hemingway once said, "This season is awful, and it's ruining my golden and frosty cold beverage and delicious hot dog with grilled onions and sport peppers and mustard."

 


You can read Tim Souers work on daily basis at Cubby Blue.

Comments

I think if Lou really cares about this team at all, he will want to fire it up. Running out to second base and kicking it won't do it, and he appears to be too tired to do that anyway.

The way to fire up this team, the dignified, cool way to do it, would be to say, "These guys are just a bunch of mopes who don't want to win, and I don't want to manage a team that doesn't want to win, so I am moving back down to Florida and see if I can buy somebody's Tampa Bay season tickets."

Has anyone heard anything about our favorite Mulerider and a contract?

I would have thought he couldn't sign fast enough since he was thinking day 2 of the draft.

Any word on anyone else they selected?

him and his adviser/agent probably have to re-evaluate his worth after going into this whole thing expecting to be a 2-5th round pick.

from the sounds of it the kid was surprised he was picked rather than expecting it.

I like the post...but I hate Hemingway.

i don't want the cubs to be the highest paid team in the league & i don't want the dumpiest most beautiful ballpark in the league to be the most expensive one to visit...everything has changed except the one thing...

The One Thing is a great INXS song.

Brilliant!

deep threat started for the i-cubs last night; here we go again?

Toyota sign...

Was at yesterday's debacle.

The bad: it's ugly and is definitely higher than in prior artist renderings. the only way to make it less ugly will be to put more signage near it that is even uglier. It doesn't block the Horseshoe casino rooftop ad because of the extra elevation (wasn't that the non financial part of the mission?)

The good: If we ever get a slugger to hit one thru the center of the sign, it's surely going to earn someone a million dollars as promised on the Horseshoe sign by hitting that too...now that would be cool! HR derby in the 2014 All-Star game, Rebel Ridling, your destiny awaits you.

up, no word on the corresponding move yet, I'd guess Randy Wells.

http://www.commercialappeal.com/news/2010/jun...

could be Gorzelany to be stretched in.

Gorz is out of options, so I have my doubts.

could be Howry being released or maybe Russell sent down as well.

You think Wells optioned or DL'd for some mysterious reason?

Wells hasn't been that bad. Zambrano has been worse.

I hate this season.

Wells ERA is up to 5.15, he's been shelled 3 of his last 4 starts and if he was out partying the night before after pitching like a crap over the last month, he probably deserves to be sent down.

Z should be fine, just stop dicking him around.

that being said, it could be Howry being released.

Bruce Levine on his Sat AM show confirms Atkins callup, says corresponding roster move will be announced in about one hour

(awesome Rob, you beat Levine and the press corp by 1/2 hour)

...and I'm thinking James Russell

posted on twitter by someone...

Jeff Samardzija made an emergency start for the Cubs tonight after scheduled starter Mitch Atkins was scratched during batting practice.

http://www.commercialappeal.com/news/2010/jun...

you have to read between the lines but the Iowa link was 11:25 pm and the more obvious Memphis link was posted at midnight

Sullivan says Russell likely to go to Iowa ( not confirmed yet)

http://chicagocubsonline.com/archives/2010/06...

CarrieMuskat: #Cubs lineup for sat is 2b riot, 3b baker, 1b lee, cf byrd, rf nady, lf sori, c soto, ss castro, p silva

Recent comments

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  • Right, then. Moving forward lets focus on simple declarative sentences, subject-verb agreement, and watch out for punctuation. Avoid prepositions at the end of sentences.

    Jackstraw 27 min 19 sec ago view
  • I love sabremetrics and think FIP and WAR can definitely predict future success. For the Cy though which is an award for current success I do think ERA and WHIP have a place. Also while Hendricks doesn't have the strikeouts he does have the highest soft hit contact and second lowest hard hit contact which does a lot to take fielding skill out of it.

    To me if the ERA is close FIP and WAR should be used but right now its not. That said I agree with you Hendricks won't get it.

    johann 38 min 46 sec ago view
  • Can't get soft just because we have a big lead!

    billybucks 1 hour 42 min ago view
  • kershaw will be lucky to put in 160+ip. even though it projects to be an awesome 160+ip it's going to be extremely difficult for him to do much with that. he's still got minor league rehab game(s) to go through and he's only stretched out to 2ip with his last simulated rehab...it may take another couple weeks before he returns.

    the numbers are awesome, but he's lost the equivalent of a good chunk of a top-tier pen arm's season in innings of work compared to the rest of the lot.

    crunch 1 hour 54 min ago view
  • Kershaw, Fernandez and Syndergaard are your current leaders and all will be pitching meaningful games down the stretch that could make or break them. Hendricks will not be and his saber-numbers aren't anywhere close to those 3 and he'd split votes with Arrieta and Lester whom all are basically neck-and-neck for  WAR and FIP. If Kershaw pitches like just okay Kershaw in September he deserves to win in a landslide. Voters are pretty much saber-inclined now so it would take a crazy shutout streak or something for Hendricks to jump in the picture.

    Rob G. 10 hours 22 min ago view
  • AZ PHIL: With starters the likes of Edwin Jackson, even Chris Rusin or Michael Bowden could look good on their staff. At best, he is a #5-6. But as always, LH are at a premium.

    The E-Man 11 hours 52 min ago view
  • Sure we would all want consistency. He is not even 24, has played 5 (!) positions this year. Can you imagine what is in his head? He was only a part-time player at 2 spots last year. And THEN think about hitting?? Cut him some slack...You sure are picky lately. First wishing #6 NL RBI guy Russell have a better average, and now an "unncessarily fancy pick". Geez tough crowd!

    The E-Man 11 hours 56 min ago view
  • it's going to be hard to take down scherzer.

    kershaw is supposedly coming back soon, though he'll probably need a good amount of deep innings to match up with scherzer...probably too late at this point. tanner roark, bumgarner, and hendricks are probably going to steal some votes along with kershaw.

    crunch 12 hours 25 min ago view
  • I absolutely love Javy's game, and I love the way Maddon changed the perception of him as a ballplayer, but I really wish he would just make the routine plays routinely. On the ground ball in the 9th, he made an unnecessarily fancy pick. He made the play, but tried the same thing last night and made an error.

    billybucks 12 hours 47 min ago view
  • How many wins does Kyle need for serious Cy Young consideration? Would 17 be enough if he leads the league in ERA? My goodness, what a season -- makes a Dartmouth alum proud.

    billybucks 12 hours 49 min ago view
  • jacos 12 hours 52 min ago view
  • hendricks WHIP drops to 0.98 over 159 innings after throwing 7ip 3h 1bb 4k, 0r/er

    ERA down to 2.09 on the season.

    crazy good.

    crunch 13 hours 14 min ago view
  • I am pretty well fed up with the majority of home plate umps. Just terrible inconsistencies.

    The E-Man 13 hours 17 min ago view
  • Oh shit forgot about that
    Shark and Sczur right?

    jacos 13 hours 31 min ago view
  • Yes, football player?- check.

    The E-Man 13 hours 39 min ago view
  • jacos 13 hours 52 min ago view