Lou Piniella: The Old Man and the Sea Monkeys

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THE OLD MAN AND THE SEA MONKEYS by Tim Hemingway, rough draft.

The old man shouted.

"How did I get here? One day I was in sunny Florida trying to catch a great fish, and now I am here with my Sea Monkeys who will not listen, will not execute, will not do what I say. And every day the reporters come, and they ask why, why do your Sea Monkey not listen, not execute, not do what you say?" 

Let us watch the team first said the old man without saying anything but rather by simply turning his head towards the play.

The Sea Monkey on first, he began running when the ball was struck, and the ball went to the Sea Monkey second baseman, who threw the ball to the wrong Sea Monkey, who threw the ball to the other wrong Sea Monkey, who was covering for another Sea Monkey, and the Sea Monkey on base ran on by, because there was no Sea Monkey at home.

The old man shouted.

"Why? Why did this happen? I have never seen or heard of such a play except when I was a young boy, playing with a mighty stick and weathered ball in the summer streets of my home town of Florida, sunny Florida."

Ahh, that's enough, and I apologize to the Ghost of Ernest for my blasphemy.

I got an email from the guy I split season tix with that said basically: do I want any tickets for the rest of the month since he doesn't plan on going and wants to put them up on Stub Hub before the value plummets further.

The point of this post, I think, is this: Lou should go.

When you're the leader and you have no answers, you should step down.

And when you can't fire the whole team, you should fire the manager.

Or as Hemingway once said, "This season is awful, and it's ruining my golden and frosty cold beverage and delicious hot dog with grilled onions and sport peppers and mustard."

 


You can read Tim Souers work on daily basis at Cubby Blue.

Comments

I think if Lou really cares about this team at all, he will want to fire it up. Running out to second base and kicking it won't do it, and he appears to be too tired to do that anyway.

The way to fire up this team, the dignified, cool way to do it, would be to say, "These guys are just a bunch of mopes who don't want to win, and I don't want to manage a team that doesn't want to win, so I am moving back down to Florida and see if I can buy somebody's Tampa Bay season tickets."

Has anyone heard anything about our favorite Mulerider and a contract?

I would have thought he couldn't sign fast enough since he was thinking day 2 of the draft.

Any word on anyone else they selected?

him and his adviser/agent probably have to re-evaluate his worth after going into this whole thing expecting to be a 2-5th round pick.

from the sounds of it the kid was surprised he was picked rather than expecting it.

I like the post...but I hate Hemingway.

i don't want the cubs to be the highest paid team in the league & i don't want the dumpiest most beautiful ballpark in the league to be the most expensive one to visit...everything has changed except the one thing...

The One Thing is a great INXS song.

Brilliant!

deep threat started for the i-cubs last night; here we go again?

Toyota sign...

Was at yesterday's debacle.

The bad: it's ugly and is definitely higher than in prior artist renderings. the only way to make it less ugly will be to put more signage near it that is even uglier. It doesn't block the Horseshoe casino rooftop ad because of the extra elevation (wasn't that the non financial part of the mission?)

The good: If we ever get a slugger to hit one thru the center of the sign, it's surely going to earn someone a million dollars as promised on the Horseshoe sign by hitting that too...now that would be cool! HR derby in the 2014 All-Star game, Rebel Ridling, your destiny awaits you.

up, no word on the corresponding move yet, I'd guess Randy Wells.

http://www.commercialappeal.com/news/2010/jun...

could be Gorzelany to be stretched in.

Gorz is out of options, so I have my doubts.

could be Howry being released or maybe Russell sent down as well.

You think Wells optioned or DL'd for some mysterious reason?

Wells hasn't been that bad. Zambrano has been worse.

I hate this season.

Wells ERA is up to 5.15, he's been shelled 3 of his last 4 starts and if he was out partying the night before after pitching like a crap over the last month, he probably deserves to be sent down.

Z should be fine, just stop dicking him around.

that being said, it could be Howry being released.

Bruce Levine on his Sat AM show confirms Atkins callup, says corresponding roster move will be announced in about one hour

(awesome Rob, you beat Levine and the press corp by 1/2 hour)

...and I'm thinking James Russell

posted on twitter by someone...

Jeff Samardzija made an emergency start for the Cubs tonight after scheduled starter Mitch Atkins was scratched during batting practice.

http://www.commercialappeal.com/news/2010/jun...

you have to read between the lines but the Iowa link was 11:25 pm and the more obvious Memphis link was posted at midnight

Sullivan says Russell likely to go to Iowa ( not confirmed yet)

http://chicagocubsonline.com/archives/2010/06...

CarrieMuskat: #Cubs lineup for sat is 2b riot, 3b baker, 1b lee, cf byrd, rf nady, lf sori, c soto, ss castro, p silva

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  • QuietMan 6 hours 7 min ago view
  • FYI, formatting of the web page is weird.

    JoePepitone 8 hours 41 min ago view
  • Now who can argue with that? I think we're all indebted to Gabby Johnson for clearly stating what needed to be said. I'm particularly glad that these lovely children were here today to hear that speech. Not only was it authentic frontier gibberish, it expressed a courage little seen in this day and age.

    Jackstraw 8 hours 52 min ago view
  • White Sox new stadium name w apropos logo

    https://mobile.twitter.com/SportsCenter/status/768...

    jacos 9 hours 34 min ago view
  • it was between that and "more like the CRUNCH REALLY EARLY AM REPORTER because i'm gonna c.r.e.am all over this place."

    i chose the classy route.

    crunch 9 hours 35 min ago view
  • Rob G. 9 hours 46 min ago view
  • that was the 2nd greatest piece of performance art since Donald Trump's campaign

    Rob G. 9 hours 47 min ago view
  • ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘€ good shit goเฑฆิ sHit๐Ÿ‘Œ thats โœ” some good๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘Œshit right๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘Œthere๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘Œ rightโœ”there โœ”โœ”if i do ฦฝaาฏ so my self ๐Ÿ’ฏ i say so ๐Ÿ’ฏ thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: สณแถฆแตสฐแต— แต—สฐแต‰สณแต‰) mMMMMแŽทะœ๐Ÿ’ฏ ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘Œ ๐Ÿ‘ŒะO0ะžเฌ OOOOOะžเฌ เฌ Ooooแต’แต’แต’แต’แต’แต’แต’แต’แต’๐Ÿ‘Œ ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘Œ ๐Ÿ‘Œ ๐Ÿ’ฏ ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐ŸŽฉ๐Ÿ‘“๐ŸŽฉ๐Ÿ‘๐ŸŽฉ๐Ÿ‘“๐ŸŽฉ๐Ÿ‘๐ŸŽฉ euphoric logic !euphoric loGic๐Ÿ‘Œ thats โœ” some euphoric๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ’ป logic right๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ’ปthere๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘Œ Carl ๐Ÿ”ญ Sagan๐ŸŒŒ๐Ÿ’ซif i do ฦฝaาฏ so gentlemen ๐Ÿ’ฏ i say so ๐Ÿ’ฏ thats euPhoric logic right there Richard ๐Ÿ“’ Dawkins๐ŸŽฉ (chorus: socrates died for this shit) mMMMMแŽทะœ๐Ÿ’ฏ ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘“๐Ÿ‘ŒะO0ะžเฌ OOOOOะžเฌ เฌ Ooooแต’แต’แต’แต’แต’แต’แต’แต’แต’๐Ÿ‘Œ ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐ŸŽฉ ๐Ÿ‘Œ ๐Ÿ’ฏ ๐Ÿ‘Œ ๐Ÿ‘“๐ŸŽฉ๐ŸŽฉ๐ŸŽฉ ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘Œeuphoric logic slam me the FUCK uP ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘€ john cena JOhN cEna

    crunch 10 hours 13 min ago view
  • You can start the CRUNCH EARLY AM REPORTER. Then you can blog to yourself, and argue with yourself about Jon Lester.

    The E-Man 11 hours 23 min ago view
  • my current job has me coming in at 7am (eastern)...i miss staying up til 2am to watch west coast games.

    crunch 13 hours 6 min ago view
  • Remember when west coast road trips were a good time to catch up on some reading?

    Old and Blue 13 hours 23 min ago view
  • Taboola field is more appropriate.

    Old and Blue 13 hours 23 min ago view
  • we can only hope...

    The things you have to do to pay for James Shields contract.

    Rob G. 14 hours 5 min ago view
  • I wonder if they'll have to make use of the Guaranteed Rate logo, which is a giant red arrow pointing downward.
    https://www.guaranteedrate.com

    Brick 14 hours 11 min ago view
  • unsurprisingly, the White Sox continue a tradition of stupid stuff....

    @DannyEcker BREAKING: Guaranteed Rate has purchased naming rights to U.S. Cellular Field. Will be known as Guaranteed Rate Field thru 2030.

    Rob G. 14 hours 14 min ago view
  • that was a very kind 3rd strike to hendricks to end the 3rd.

    man on 3rd, 0 outs and got 2 pop-ups and a K...Maddux-lite indeed

    Rob G. 14 hours 24 min ago view