Lou Piniella: The Old Man and the Sea Monkeys

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THE OLD MAN AND THE SEA MONKEYS by Tim Hemingway, rough draft.

The old man shouted.

"How did I get here? One day I was in sunny Florida trying to catch a great fish, and now I am here with my Sea Monkeys who will not listen, will not execute, will not do what I say. And every day the reporters come, and they ask why, why do your Sea Monkey not listen, not execute, not do what you say?" 

Let us watch the team first said the old man without saying anything but rather by simply turning his head towards the play.

The Sea Monkey on first, he began running when the ball was struck, and the ball went to the Sea Monkey second baseman, who threw the ball to the wrong Sea Monkey, who threw the ball to the other wrong Sea Monkey, who was covering for another Sea Monkey, and the Sea Monkey on base ran on by, because there was no Sea Monkey at home.

The old man shouted.

"Why? Why did this happen? I have never seen or heard of such a play except when I was a young boy, playing with a mighty stick and weathered ball in the summer streets of my home town of Florida, sunny Florida."

Ahh, that's enough, and I apologize to the Ghost of Ernest for my blasphemy.

I got an email from the guy I split season tix with that said basically: do I want any tickets for the rest of the month since he doesn't plan on going and wants to put them up on Stub Hub before the value plummets further.

The point of this post, I think, is this: Lou should go.

When you're the leader and you have no answers, you should step down.

And when you can't fire the whole team, you should fire the manager.

Or as Hemingway once said, "This season is awful, and it's ruining my golden and frosty cold beverage and delicious hot dog with grilled onions and sport peppers and mustard."

 


You can read Tim Souers work on daily basis at Cubby Blue.

Comments

I think if Lou really cares about this team at all, he will want to fire it up. Running out to second base and kicking it won't do it, and he appears to be too tired to do that anyway.

The way to fire up this team, the dignified, cool way to do it, would be to say, "These guys are just a bunch of mopes who don't want to win, and I don't want to manage a team that doesn't want to win, so I am moving back down to Florida and see if I can buy somebody's Tampa Bay season tickets."

Has anyone heard anything about our favorite Mulerider and a contract?

I would have thought he couldn't sign fast enough since he was thinking day 2 of the draft.

Any word on anyone else they selected?

him and his adviser/agent probably have to re-evaluate his worth after going into this whole thing expecting to be a 2-5th round pick.

from the sounds of it the kid was surprised he was picked rather than expecting it.

I like the post...but I hate Hemingway.

i don't want the cubs to be the highest paid team in the league & i don't want the dumpiest most beautiful ballpark in the league to be the most expensive one to visit...everything has changed except the one thing...

The One Thing is a great INXS song.

Brilliant!

deep threat started for the i-cubs last night; here we go again?

Toyota sign...

Was at yesterday's debacle.

The bad: it's ugly and is definitely higher than in prior artist renderings. the only way to make it less ugly will be to put more signage near it that is even uglier. It doesn't block the Horseshoe casino rooftop ad because of the extra elevation (wasn't that the non financial part of the mission?)

The good: If we ever get a slugger to hit one thru the center of the sign, it's surely going to earn someone a million dollars as promised on the Horseshoe sign by hitting that too...now that would be cool! HR derby in the 2014 All-Star game, Rebel Ridling, your destiny awaits you.

up, no word on the corresponding move yet, I'd guess Randy Wells.

http://www.commercialappeal.com/news/2010/jun...

could be Gorzelany to be stretched in.

Gorz is out of options, so I have my doubts.

could be Howry being released or maybe Russell sent down as well.

You think Wells optioned or DL'd for some mysterious reason?

Wells hasn't been that bad. Zambrano has been worse.

I hate this season.

Wells ERA is up to 5.15, he's been shelled 3 of his last 4 starts and if he was out partying the night before after pitching like a crap over the last month, he probably deserves to be sent down.

Z should be fine, just stop dicking him around.

that being said, it could be Howry being released.

Bruce Levine on his Sat AM show confirms Atkins callup, says corresponding roster move will be announced in about one hour

(awesome Rob, you beat Levine and the press corp by 1/2 hour)

...and I'm thinking James Russell

posted on twitter by someone...

Jeff Samardzija made an emergency start for the Cubs tonight after scheduled starter Mitch Atkins was scratched during batting practice.

http://www.commercialappeal.com/news/2010/jun...

you have to read between the lines but the Iowa link was 11:25 pm and the more obvious Memphis link was posted at midnight

Sullivan says Russell likely to go to Iowa ( not confirmed yet)

http://chicagocubsonline.com/archives/2010/06...

CarrieMuskat: #Cubs lineup for sat is 2b riot, 3b baker, 1b lee, cf byrd, rf nady, lf sori, c soto, ss castro, p silva

Recent comments

The first 600 characters of the last 16 comments, click "View" to see rest of comment.
  • Ha

  • I definitely hang around here looking to reply to your comments as noticed by my nearly year long absence.

    there's a fine line between posting something relevant, useful or at least humorous versus posting something irrelevant, useless or unfunny...actually it's rather quite a thick line and easy to see for most people not named crunch.

  • I certainly am digging the RISP machine Zobrist version.

  • Cubs are taking advantage of bad D by their opponents -- did it a few times in PIT and the Nats botched 2-out rundown leads to 3 Cub runs in the 8th. Which were nice to have.

    I hope Kyle had fun at the dance party -- he was terrific.

  • i hope he's getting more consideration for the 2-slot vs lefties, too.

  • I hope we can dispense with the Zobrist RISP concerns.

  • Is this heaven?

  • They call me Schwarberino because I'm basically Ruth,
    and as long as we're rapping I'm gonna tell you the truth:
    This team would be even better if I wasn't laid up;
    we'd win the World Series, the Superbowl, and the Stanley Cup.
    As long as we're at it, I'm putting the Premier League on notice.
    Hell, if I were healthy, Epstein could run for POTUS.
    My busted knee's even sadder than this presidential kerfuffle,
    but my first rehab assignment will be the World Series Shuffle.

    I am avoiding grading papers.

  • Phil,

    With Mutton on the DL now, does Victorino finally get to Iowa?

  • Chat ... is happening.

  • I agree completely with Dusty. I appreciate him much more as the Nats skipper than as the Cubs.

  • so, what you're saying is you keep bringing up something over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over like you did with this issue for years back in the day...and obviously still into today...

    ...but that's fine if you do it.

    brb, forming my next dozen replies for why you should shut up and never say anything about it again...oh wait, no i'm not because i'm not hanging around looking to tell you to shut up about repeating the same thing over and over and over and over...

  • Heyward looked fine shagging flies in BP. Wouldn't surprise me to see him in the line up tomorrow.

  • this seems like it could be an interesting series...parachat worthy.

  • speed leads...nothing ever changes. that's been a dusty thing since...forever.

    holy shit, really? I made the comment because I had just discovered this novel trait that Dusty possesses.

    btw, check out the leadoff hitter of the WS champion KC last year.

    waaaat????? again with the knowledge dropping, I literally had no idea.

  • speed leads...nothing ever changes. that's been a dusty thing since...forever.

    worst part is he's barely a speedster...just the best fitting.

    btw, check out the leadoff hitter of the WS champion KC last year.