My Ouija conversation with Dead Aramis Ramirez
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This is kinda creepy I know, but the following conversation happened just last night...
ME: Aramis Ramirez!
(It's midnight, I'm sitting alone in a dark hotel room with my Ouija Board and a candle.)
ME: You there, Aramis?
(Man, it is SO weird talkin' with a dead guy.)
ME: Aramis, how do you feel about being picked as the National League's Least Valuable Player for the first half of 2010?
(Okay, pretty scary - the candle flame blew around as if there was a crazy wind in here.)
OUIJA: Like the matador who ran from El Toro.
(you've got experience with the Ouija, you know that sentence took about 20 minutes, but... TOTALLY worth it to speak with the dead.)
ME: Saw the You Tube clip - it's good to see you haven't lost your sense of humor, even if you're hitting .207.
OUIJA: Did you not notice the week before this All-Star break?
ME: You mean the thrill of sweeping Arizona and the agony of dropping 3 of 4 against L.A.?
(The closet door just slammed shut, I am not kidding.)
OUIJA: No! You are the bag of bad gas! I speak of my numbers: .428 with the average, 4 of the home runs, 9 of the runs batted in.
ME: This would go faster if you used acronyms. Like "RBI".
(Oh my GOD! A pencil flew across the room and hit me in the forehead.)
ME: So sorry, oh Aramis the Dead! The numbers are impressive!
OUIJA: Yes they are. If my thumb stays healed, I will come back to life!
ME: Awesome! So what do you think about Lou Piniella - how's he holding up?
OUIJA: He's standing right here, would you like to speak to him?
ME: I knew it!
OUIJA: What can I say, fellas? Nobody likes to lose. But what can you
...And that's when the candle blew out and I lost the Ouija connection.
But pretty cool talking with Aramis.
Lets see if he can really rise from the dead.
You can read Tim Souers work on daily basis at Cubby Blue.
Cuzzi has long been known as having the biggest strike zone among all umpires.
AZ Phil, give me a scouting report on Chris Pieters since he has become a 1B/OF.
I think it's probably hard to adjust to an ump's zone mid-game, as least for hitters. Pitchers can locate to an ump's zone, but hitters have minimal time to react.
But, whatever. Umps are going to miss calls. Let's beat up on the non-Lackey starters.
Watched a little of Mets-Dodgers.
Jason deGrom -- oh, my.
Cubs 3-4-5 hitters are 0-21 so far in the post-season.
Let's change that in a big effin' way tomorrow, boys.
Considering how players reacted it seemed pretty accurate high and wide (to righties), but not so accurate low and in. I thought the strike zone by the ump was awful, but it was consistent and the Cubs never adjusted.
Rizzo and Bryant need to have good at bats. They are really looking outclassed in these two games.
that game sounds fun as hell.
I was just wondering the same thing. I'd rather not see it at all. If it's inaccurate, it's a bad viewer experience. If it's accurate, it shows some shitty calling by the umpire.
TBS' K Zone seems to be more harsh than the others.
I wonder if MLB will ask the networks to stop using them. They just make the umps, and the game, look bad, and it only pisses off the fans.
"Strop vs. Cardinals." Seen the movie. Hated it.
Not all that disappointed -- I didn't think they would beat Lackey in Game 1. Need to get the bats going against the guys with less experience -- and they hit Wacha pretty good.
Rizzo has been slumping the last couple weeks of the season. Very disappointed it has continued during his penultimate moment of his career to date.
Really doesn't matter, but I was surprised to see Lester pulled and Strop pulled in. Should of left Lester in. oy.
Sweet merciful fuck, I hate the Cardinals.
Really doesn't matter, but I was surprised to see Lester out for the 8th. Down 1-0, at 100 pitches, seemed better to give a very fresh bullpen a little work.
Oh well...Throw away game, although in a 5 game series there is no luxury afforded to do that.