My Ouija conversation with Dead Aramis Ramirez
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This is kinda creepy I know, but the following conversation happened just last night...
ME: Aramis Ramirez!
(It's midnight, I'm sitting alone in a dark hotel room with my Ouija Board and a candle.)
ME: You there, Aramis?
(Man, it is SO weird talkin' with a dead guy.)
ME: Aramis, how do you feel about being picked as the National League's Least Valuable Player for the first half of 2010?
(Okay, pretty scary - the candle flame blew around as if there was a crazy wind in here.)
OUIJA: Like the matador who ran from El Toro.
(you've got experience with the Ouija, you know that sentence took about 20 minutes, but... TOTALLY worth it to speak with the dead.)
ME: Saw the You Tube clip - it's good to see you haven't lost your sense of humor, even if you're hitting .207.
OUIJA: Did you not notice the week before this All-Star break?
ME: You mean the thrill of sweeping Arizona and the agony of dropping 3 of 4 against L.A.?
(The closet door just slammed shut, I am not kidding.)
OUIJA: No! You are the bag of bad gas! I speak of my numbers: .428 with the average, 4 of the home runs, 9 of the runs batted in.
ME: This would go faster if you used acronyms. Like "RBI".
(Oh my GOD! A pencil flew across the room and hit me in the forehead.)
ME: So sorry, oh Aramis the Dead! The numbers are impressive!
OUIJA: Yes they are. If my thumb stays healed, I will come back to life!
ME: Awesome! So what do you think about Lou Piniella - how's he holding up?
OUIJA: He's standing right here, would you like to speak to him?
ME: I knew it!
OUIJA: What can I say, fellas? Nobody likes to lose. But what can you
...And that's when the candle blew out and I lost the Ouija connection.
But pretty cool talking with Aramis.
Lets see if he can really rise from the dead.
You can read Tim Souers work on daily basis at Cubby Blue.
No I have been thinking actually that he seems to lead the Cubs with balls called strikes all year. He really shouldn't be expanding his zone to swing at many of those either because it wouldn't lead to anything good. He's seeing the ball well though so hopefully it'll even out.
So why don't the umps like Soler, or am I just imagining it?
Yeah, but he kills lefties.
wow...instant hardcore rain.
it was massive...hit off the bottom of the LF scoreboard.
Projected at 461 ft, with a 108 mph exit velocity - longest Cub HR this year by 20 ft (I think Arrieta had the longest?)
this team is full of horrible walkup music...rizzo uses 'marky mark and the funky bunch' more than he should...which is any at all.
d.ross uses alphaville 'forever young' because lulz.
lastella was using (still might be) 'oh what a night' by the four seasons.
turrible turrible stuff.
cubs lead 1-5, bottom 4.
Just noticed that Baez's current walk-up song is "Informer" by Snow. Dear God. That's world class bad.
Hey Lester is left handed!
Probably a good idea to give Rizz a couple of days off (slumps happen to the best -- Harper just broke a 4-for-33 with a HR yesterday). Never been a big fan of an all-RH lineup. The pitcher has the same look and same target for every hitter. At least, as a mediocre HS pitcher, facing a mixture of LH/RH hitters messed me up. A lack of talent and weak-ass stuff may have also been contributing factors.
Would you say Brooks doesn't have any upside going forward? Seems like he could be one of those hybrid starter reliever types maddon seems to like having in his bullpen. But I haven't seen a ton of him, and he got hit around pretty good last year in mlb
I've been wracking my brain to work a "Room With a View" reference in there but I just haven't gotten it to work.
Bryant might be playing SS during an infield shift, no? Usually he is moved to 2B but it could happen.