My Ouija conversation with Dead Aramis Ramirez
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This is kinda creepy I know, but the following conversation happened just last night...
ME: Aramis Ramirez!
(It's midnight, I'm sitting alone in a dark hotel room with my Ouija Board and a candle.)
ME: You there, Aramis?
(Man, it is SO weird talkin' with a dead guy.)
ME: Aramis, how do you feel about being picked as the National League's Least Valuable Player for the first half of 2010?
(Okay, pretty scary - the candle flame blew around as if there was a crazy wind in here.)
OUIJA: Like the matador who ran from El Toro.
(you've got experience with the Ouija, you know that sentence took about 20 minutes, but... TOTALLY worth it to speak with the dead.)
ME: Saw the You Tube clip - it's good to see you haven't lost your sense of humor, even if you're hitting .207.
OUIJA: Did you not notice the week before this All-Star break?
ME: You mean the thrill of sweeping Arizona and the agony of dropping 3 of 4 against L.A.?
(The closet door just slammed shut, I am not kidding.)
OUIJA: No! You are the bag of bad gas! I speak of my numbers: .428 with the average, 4 of the home runs, 9 of the runs batted in.
ME: This would go faster if you used acronyms. Like "RBI".
(Oh my GOD! A pencil flew across the room and hit me in the forehead.)
ME: So sorry, oh Aramis the Dead! The numbers are impressive!
OUIJA: Yes they are. If my thumb stays healed, I will come back to life!
ME: Awesome! So what do you think about Lou Piniella - how's he holding up?
OUIJA: He's standing right here, would you like to speak to him?
ME: I knew it!
OUIJA: What can I say, fellas? Nobody likes to lose. But what can you
...And that's when the candle blew out and I lost the Ouija connection.
But pretty cool talking with Aramis.
Lets see if he can really rise from the dead.
You can read Tim Souers work on daily basis at Cubby Blue.
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"Diamondbacks designated RHP Josh Collmenter for assignment."
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Hopefully, that is all out of their system now -- let's get a W tomorrow.
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Clearly the Cubs need to clear out the farm and trade for another closer
Where's Ed Lynch when you need him?