Roger Clemens indicted for allegedly being a big fat steroid-taking liar!
(Click on image for full size version)
If you were a baseball player, there are words and phrases you just don't want in the same sentence as your name. Words and phrases like: "federal grand jury", "indicted", "lying to Congress", and of course, "steroids" and "growth hormone".
And yet there it is: "A federal grand jury on Thursday indicted seven-time Cy Young Award winner Roger Clemens for allegedly lying to Congress about using steroids and growth hormone."
There's an old joke I've never told out loud because... well, I'm terrible at telling jokes. But I found it online:
A Scottish old timer in Scotland, in a bar, talking to a young man.
The Old Man says, "Lad, look out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well it's built. I built that fence stone by stone with me own two hands. I piled it for months."
"But do they call me McGreggor-the-Fence-Builder? Nooo..."
Then the old man gestured at the bar. "Look here at the bar. Do ya see how smooth and just it is? I planed that surface down by me own achin' back. I carved that wood with me own hard labour, for eight days."
"But do they call me McGreggor-the-Bar-builder? Nooo..."
Then the old man points out the window. "Eh, Laddy, look out to sea...Do ya see that pier that stretches out as far as the eye can see? I built that pier with the sweat off me back. I nailed it board by board."
"But do they call me McGreggor-the-Pier-Builder? Nooo..."
Then the old man looks around nervously, trying to make sure no one else is paying attention.
"But ya fuck one goat..."
This the exact same story that Roger wrote for himself with his own actions and mouth.
Now, his nickname won't be as simple as McGreggor's.
It'll probably have a bunch of asterisks and hyphens, wouldn't you think?
You can view Tim Souers work on a daily basis at Cubby Blue.
"Cubs manager Joe Maddon said Friday that Anthony Rizzo (back) is feeling better and it's "possible" the first baseman could return to the lineup Saturday."
Maddon shore isn't afraid to bat a rookie 4th in the order.
how many pairs of dice did dusty leave hidden around the park when he left the cubs?
Line-up shakeup, going all-2015 with pitcher batting 8th, Bryant 2nd
J-Hey, Bryant 1B, Zobrist, Willson, Coghlan, Baez 3B, Russell, Hendricks, Almora
The Cubs are currently down Schwarber, Fowler, Soler, and Rizzo and Montero appear to be day-to-day. Maybe not surprising that they are struggling a bit as they rely more than expected on Baez, Russell, Almora, Contreras, and Szczur to provide offensive value.
Joe: "I loved the way we brought it today, man. We'll take this every night and win a lot of ballgames like that. Losing 4 in a row...that's nothin'."
9 runs in 4 games. Zobrist slumping. Russell having a tough time. Almora not a contact guy. They miss Fowler big time.
Bring the A-Team back.
4 losses in a row for the 1st time this season.
RIP 2016 cubs.
i'll never forget clayton richard throwing that 1 inning that didn't suck.
see you guys next season.
Yeesh. Shut down innings a thing of the past for the Cubbies
Not the best of nights for Russell - should of nailed Stanton at second on Ross's throw but mishandles it ... so of course Stanton comes around and scores as well
Guys, I've decided to focus on the first awesome two and a half months instead of this disastrous end to the season. Remember Arrieta's no-no, Contreras's first-ever-pitch HR, all the amazing defensive gems by Baez?
We'll get 'em next year!
David Fuckin Ross!!!
That Baez almost-out defensive play was bonkers.
2- if miami was a team with decent runners i'd be more scared...or if they get guys on 1st and 2nd with less than 2 outs
3- yes...he could use a roid re-up
wow...miami's running game is even weaker than i thought. stolen bases is a lazy way to gauge running quality, but tonight's lineup has 7 SBs on the year and it's only 2 guys. they have 19 total SB and 6 of those are d.gordon...and 6 are ichiro. only 4 guys on the roster all season have successfully stolen a base and 1 is suspended.
1) If Cubs are going to play a catcher at 1B, why not just gear him up and call it second home plate and see if they can trick Lester into throwing there every now and again.
2) Between Lester on the mound, and a catcher at 1B, bunting might be lucrative for the Marlins.
3) Barry Bonds looks deflated. I mean physically.
Smokies lineup sure could use the help. Promotions of Candalario and Zagunis to Iowa crippled the offense - McKinney's continued power outage not helping things.