Roger Clemens indicted for allegedly being a big fat steroid-taking liar!
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If you were a baseball player, there are words and phrases you just don't want in the same sentence as your name. Words and phrases like: "federal grand jury", "indicted", "lying to Congress", and of course, "steroids" and "growth hormone".
And yet there it is: "A federal grand jury on Thursday indicted seven-time Cy Young Award winner Roger Clemens for allegedly lying to Congress about using steroids and growth hormone."
There's an old joke I've never told out loud because... well, I'm terrible at telling jokes. But I found it online:
A Scottish old timer in Scotland, in a bar, talking to a young man.
The Old Man says, "Lad, look out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well it's built. I built that fence stone by stone with me own two hands. I piled it for months."
"But do they call me McGreggor-the-Fence-Builder? Nooo..."
Then the old man gestured at the bar. "Look here at the bar. Do ya see how smooth and just it is? I planed that surface down by me own achin' back. I carved that wood with me own hard labour, for eight days."
"But do they call me McGreggor-the-Bar-builder? Nooo..."
Then the old man points out the window. "Eh, Laddy, look out to sea...Do ya see that pier that stretches out as far as the eye can see? I built that pier with the sweat off me back. I nailed it board by board."
"But do they call me McGreggor-the-Pier-Builder? Nooo..."
Then the old man looks around nervously, trying to make sure no one else is paying attention.
"But ya fuck one goat..."
This the exact same story that Roger wrote for himself with his own actions and mouth.
Now, his nickname won't be as simple as McGreggor's.
It'll probably have a bunch of asterisks and hyphens, wouldn't you think?
You can view Tim Souers work on a daily basis at Cubby Blue.
at least the cubs have a decent backup of...ummmm....well the minor league system has...uhhh...hmmm.
maybe adam warren can manage to throw less than 100 pitches in 5 innings? no?
hey, alright...cubs losing by 9 and a 3rd rain delay. awesome.
David Ross - the mound awaits you.
RIP jason hammel's awesome ERA.
10 ER in 4ip...almost a full point tacked on tonight, alone. 5HR given up tonight. oogly.
OK, the hell with it.
It's July 1 -- Hammel starting to suck right on schedule.
Belicheat a consultant for the Red Sox?
And, so, Jason Hammel decides to test my new resolution right away. Sheesh.
No Wright, no Duda, no Granderson -- no problem for NY. Ugh.
game restarting...degrom on the mound, hammel taking his AB.
Indians extend their streak.
Darwin Barney gets tagged with the loss.
delayed until 7:20 -EST- (tarp off the field)...
CLE/TOR in the top 18th in case you're bored. 2nd baseman r.goins pitching for TOR...hit 90mph so far. 1ip 2h 1bb 0k, 0 r/er (bb was ibb). he threw a fastball/change mix. crowd loved it. d.ross is not impressed.
d.barney strands j.lake at 2nd in the bottom 18 for the
cubsbluejays...to the 19th!
-cubs game has begun-
BRADSBEARD: Javier Assad was still pitching into the 6th inning, and the first batter he faced reached base on an E-4 (that was Assad's 70th and final pitch of the game). Then Leathersich relieved Assad and retired the second batter 4-3 on the first pitch of the AB (the runner at 1st base advanced to 2nd on the play), and then on an 0-1 pitch the third batter in the inning (second one faced by Leathersich) lined into an inning-ending 6-4 DP (baserunner doubled off 2nd base). When calculating GO/AO, double plays and triple plays count as only one out.