Roger Clemens indicted for allegedly being a big fat steroid-taking liar!
(Click on image for full size version)
If you were a baseball player, there are words and phrases you just don't want in the same sentence as your name. Words and phrases like: "federal grand jury", "indicted", "lying to Congress", and of course, "steroids" and "growth hormone".
And yet there it is: "A federal grand jury on Thursday indicted seven-time Cy Young Award winner Roger Clemens for allegedly lying to Congress about using steroids and growth hormone."
There's an old joke I've never told out loud because... well, I'm terrible at telling jokes. But I found it online:
A Scottish old timer in Scotland, in a bar, talking to a young man.
The Old Man says, "Lad, look out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well it's built. I built that fence stone by stone with me own two hands. I piled it for months."
"But do they call me McGreggor-the-Fence-Builder? Nooo..."
Then the old man gestured at the bar. "Look here at the bar. Do ya see how smooth and just it is? I planed that surface down by me own achin' back. I carved that wood with me own hard labour, for eight days."
"But do they call me McGreggor-the-Bar-builder? Nooo..."
Then the old man points out the window. "Eh, Laddy, look out to sea...Do ya see that pier that stretches out as far as the eye can see? I built that pier with the sweat off me back. I nailed it board by board."
"But do they call me McGreggor-the-Pier-Builder? Nooo..."
Then the old man looks around nervously, trying to make sure no one else is paying attention.
"But ya fuck one goat..."
This the exact same story that Roger wrote for himself with his own actions and mouth.
Now, his nickname won't be as simple as McGreggor's.
It'll probably have a bunch of asterisks and hyphens, wouldn't you think?
You can view Tim Souers work on a daily basis at Cubby Blue.
Carrie Muskat [email protected]
Shane Victorino added to Iowa #Cubs roster today
The awesome quote was something like "Just gotta play a little country hardball..."
It was awesome. I envisioned him in snake-skin boots, Stetson, and a lump of dip in his lip with his Texas gun strapped to his hip.
Listening to an interview with Lackey on WSCR - he sounds a bit like a gruff Fozzie Bear
FWIW -- Lackey was the only RH batter to get a hit off of Scherzer. KB and Baez were 0-for-6 with 6Ks. Gotta love lefty/righty balance, and switch-hitters.
Somebody needs to explain to Richard the concept of run differential. Dammit, this was a tough one to absorb.
In the same vein, I hope we can now dispense with "LaStella sucks as a starter".
They just wanted to get Rondon a save is why they gave up those runs. Madden is a genius that way....
15 games over .500...not a bad place to be on may 6th.
Brian Schlitter moments aside - what a sweet win!
this ump...at least he seems consistently shitty.
c.richard with another outing making him look expendable...
hey may be a righty, but f.pena put in another strong night last night...2ip 0h 1bb 3k
last thing the club seems to need is another reliever, though. the cubs starters keep putting lack-of-work pressure on the pen more than anything so far.
Good thing Bryant can play multiple positions. If he was only a 3B he'd be frustrated sitting.
I think it might have been just the push he needed.
I believe +411 by the '39 Yankees is the all-time record.
From now on maybe there's no point keeping score of the game, just track the run differential.