Roger Clemens indicted for allegedly being a big fat steroid-taking liar!
(Click on image for full size version)
If you were a baseball player, there are words and phrases you just don't want in the same sentence as your name. Words and phrases like: "federal grand jury", "indicted", "lying to Congress", and of course, "steroids" and "growth hormone".
And yet there it is: "A federal grand jury on Thursday indicted seven-time Cy Young Award winner Roger Clemens for allegedly lying to Congress about using steroids and growth hormone."
There's an old joke I've never told out loud because... well, I'm terrible at telling jokes. But I found it online:
A Scottish old timer in Scotland, in a bar, talking to a young man.
The Old Man says, "Lad, look out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well it's built. I built that fence stone by stone with me own two hands. I piled it for months."
"But do they call me McGreggor-the-Fence-Builder? Nooo..."
Then the old man gestured at the bar. "Look here at the bar. Do ya see how smooth and just it is? I planed that surface down by me own achin' back. I carved that wood with me own hard labour, for eight days."
"But do they call me McGreggor-the-Bar-builder? Nooo..."
Then the old man points out the window. "Eh, Laddy, look out to sea...Do ya see that pier that stretches out as far as the eye can see? I built that pier with the sweat off me back. I nailed it board by board."
"But do they call me McGreggor-the-Pier-Builder? Nooo..."
Then the old man looks around nervously, trying to make sure no one else is paying attention.
"But ya fuck one goat..."
This the exact same story that Roger wrote for himself with his own actions and mouth.
Now, his nickname won't be as simple as McGreggor's.
It'll probably have a bunch of asterisks and hyphens, wouldn't you think?
You can view Tim Souers work on a daily basis at Cubby Blue.
1. I hate the fact that after 162 games, a team could be out after 1 game. However, I think the system is pretty close to perfect right now. 2 of 3 isn't feasible unless they shorten the regular season, and it ices the division winners for way too long. This creates excitement, and rewards the division winners.
Call me lost.
I just noticed the Dodger's payroll today. It is just absurd. $300,000,000+!!
Here is where just some of their money is for 2015:
Carl Crawford $20MM
Brandon McCarthy $17MM
Bronson Arroyo $3.5MM
Darwin B $2.2MM
Dan Haren $10MM
Matt Kemp $18MM
Brian Wilson $10MM
Ryan Webb $2.2MM
Dee Gordon $2.5MM
Enjoyable read on David Ross.
Er, they won the first one. My bad. Carry on.
BOB: I doubt very much that Matt Szczur will be on the Cubs LDS roster.
I want my baseball team to win by playing better baseball. I don't want umps, fields, or fans to have anything to do with it.