Living On a What, Now?

After yesterday's heart-ripper-outer of a game, the Cubs have lost seven of
eight for the first time since last June. They still have a four-game division
lead and an 84.5% chance
of winning the division, thanks to the Brewers losing five of their
last seven, so things are not actually as bleak as they may seem.
(And yes, the chances of them missing the playoffs entirely are very, very small. But we're not discussing that. Yet.). Still, with Zambrano and Harden in various levels of gimpitude, the
collective angst here in Chicago is not unfounded. As Rob wrote earlier today, Harden is scheduled
to pitch on Thursday, and Zambrano on Saturday, so we'll know more (and
know just how freaked out to be) in a week or so.

In the meantime, maybe WXRT's Lin Brehmer
is right and the Cubs are suffering under The Curse Of Jon Bon Jovi.
Apparently the Cubs are playing "Living on a Prayer" during pitching
changes. "Living on a Prayer"? Seriously?

It doesn't make a difference if we make it or not.
We've got each other and that's a lot for love
We'll give it a shot.
Whoah, we're half way there
Whoah, livin' on a prayer

I don't think "it doesn't make a difference if we make it or not"
adequately captures the true feelings of Cubs fans (not to mention players
and management). The Cubs aren't "living on a prayer," either; they're
living on strong pitching (expect for the 9th inning yesterday), solid defense (ditto), and the best offense in the
National League.

Of course, a textual analysis of the problems with "Living On a Prayer" doesn't address just how crappy Bon Jovi is. I mean, seriously, I understand how the desire to appeal to the widest possible audience often manifests itself in a rush to the lowest common denominator, but this is ridiculous.

I wish I had a long list of viable, higher-quality alternatives to offer,
because we're all about solutions here at TCR, but alas the last few weeks have
reduced my brain's capacity for that sort of critical thinking to
almost nil. But for starters, how about "Nothing To Fear (But Fear Itself)" by Oingo Boingo?

I await better suggestions in the comments. In the meantime, I will officially add my voice to Lin Brehmer's: no more Jovi at Wrigley. Not
now, not ever. Life's too short to listen to bad pop metal.

Comments

Journey-- Some will win, some will lose Some were born to sing the blues Oh, the movie never ends It goes on and on and on and on (chorus) Dont stop believin Hold on to the feelin

Queen "Princes Of The Universe" "Here we are.born to be kings. We're the princes of the universe. Here we belong.fighting to survive. In a world with the darkest powers. And here we are.were the princes of the universe. Here we belong.fighting for survival. Weve come to be the rulers of your world. I am immortal.i have inside me blood of kings. I have no rival.no man can be my equal. Take me to the future of your world..." Does this exaggerate the life and death importance of baseball?

I nominate just about anything by Kings of Leon. How 'bout "Molly's Chambers"? As long as it's a fast-moving song, it really doesn't matter; you can't tell what the fuck they are saying anyway. It was good enough for a Volkswagon commercial in 2003, why not good enough for pitching changes in 2008? Maybe some "King of the Rodeo," "Pistol of Fire," or "Four Kicks." I'd like to second the "Anything But Bon Jovi" movement, regardless. Also, I'll be honest, I could do without "Go Cubs Go," mostly just because it's bad music.

As someone cleverly posted last year in late May: The Benny Hill theme song

I heard "LOaP" when I went to a game a couple of weeks ago and similarly shook my head in disbelief. (I think it's "It doesn't really matter if we make it or not," not that it really matters what the lyrics to a damn Bon Jovi song are). A modest proposal for a replacement, made regardless of the likelihood that the band would approve the song's use, or that non-indie-snobs actually dig the song: Fugazi, "KYEO" ("The tools, they will be swinging / We will not be beaten down"). Wrigley needs nothing less than a little Dischord.

Off the top of my head I'd probabaly have to go with the Heartbreakers: I'm all mixed up, I'm all mixed up about, All mixed up about you And no I can't find no reason To explain the way that I feel I remember things being clearer At one t ime things were more real I'm all mixed up, I'm all mixed up about, All mixed up about you I'm not lookin' for sympathy I'm just frightened by this apathy Like footsteps way in back of me On a narrow street of stone And if time will answer all questions Then perhaps a film will be shown Everyone could mail-order tickets Yeah, you could sell a lot of shirts For the last picture show I'm all mixed up, I'm all mixed up about, All mixed up about you

The New Pornographers, "The Slow Descent Into Alcoholism" Scary Mansion, "Sorry We Took All Yr Money" And for Mr. Whipple... Radiohead, "Down is the New Up" :)

RADIOHEAD SUCKS

Now you must die.

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ATHF loves Radiohead. I have no proof of that, I'll just assume it.

Crunch... Radiohead will withstand the test of time much better than Anal Cunt. Just sayin', bro.

How can you beat <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5eFk5x0o44">this?</a>

Was that music?

amazing they've never been grammy nominated, imo. it has to at least be on par with milli vanili.

The band logo still cracks me up.

I saw A.C. live at an Iowa City club once. It was unique. My buddy had to leave a few "songs" into their set.

I almost forgot that I angered the great unwashed by calling Radiohead overrated. For motivation, there's nothing better than Tommy Seebach. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFGzGfym-7Y. This is Western Culture's version of the 72 virgins that terrorists are promised. Remind the Cubs that this is what awaits them in heaven and they'll fight to the death.

If we're talking Boingo, I prefer "Dead Man's Party:" I'm all dressed up with nowhere to go Walkin' with a dead man over my shoulder Waiting for an invitation to arrive Goin' to a party where no one's still alive CHORUS I was struck by lighting Walkin' down the street I was hit by something last night in my sleep It's a dead man's party Who could ask for more Everybody's comin', leave your body at the door Leave your body and soul at the door . . . (Don't run away it's only me) All dressed up with nowhere to go Walkin' with a dead man Waitin' for an invitation to arrive With a dead man . . . Dead Man . . . Got my best suit and my tie Shiny silver dollar on either eye I hear the chauffeur comin' to the door Says there's room for maybe just one more . . . CHORUS Don't run away it's only me Don't be afraid of what you can't see Don't run away it's only me . . . Seemed appropriate, given the Cub's recent difficulties.

How about this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBGIQ7ZuuiU

I knew what that was, but I clicked anyway...that video just makes me feel good.

How in the hell did that thing get 20 million views?

You are familiar with rickrolling, right? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rickroll But to answer your question...because it's awesome! Check out that dancing! the trenchcoat! the shades! the wall of hair, the black man observing and ultimately admiring Rick's moves! That video is brilliant.

"You are familiar with rickrolling, right?" I guess I've been living under a rock, I've never heard of that! Very cool though!

Rick just did a concert in Manila. He was way awesome dude! Definitely at par with Milli Vanilli.

Welcome to the internet!

ha...ive been there. it smells funny.

News flash, crunch: it might not be the internet :)

cakefarts?

The student has become the master. Well played, Andrew. Well played.

Cubs fans: "Never gonna give you up" Cubs: "Never gonna let you down" Cubs fans: "Never gonna run around and desert you" Cubs: "Never gonna make you cry" Cubs fans: "Never gonna say goodbye" Cubs training staff: "Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you"

Best. Rickroll. Ever.

If they don't start winning soon- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvV76jDZFyk

Father Pinella jumped the shark?

Volquez stinking up the joint. 2 Run HR to Jason Kendall (WTF?!?!) 3-1 Brewers.

Merle Haggard: I'll Prob'ly Never See You Eye To Eye A-gain This Letter's Meant To Be My Last Fare-well But You Need To Under-stand I'm Nearly Crazy You Need To Know My Life Has Gone To Hell Write Me Back And Tell Me Why It Ended Send A Letter That I Can Show My Heart I'll Be Somewhere Between I Love You And What You're Feeling Now Lookin' For A Place To Fall A-part Looking For A Place To Fall A-part Trying To Find A Place That I Can Leave My Heart I Need To Be Somewhere Hidin' When I Feel The Teardrops Start Lookin' For A Place To Fall A-part I Can't Seem To Justify Your Leavin' Me I'm Be-wildered As To How It All Came Down I Thought Everything Was Fine Until Your Phone Call The Call That Turned My World A-round Send Me Word And Tell Me Why It Ended I Need Some Final Proof To Show My Heart I'll Be Somewhere Between I Love You And What You're Feelin' Now Lookin' For A Place To Fall A-part

-1 for capitolizing all the words.

I just copied and pasted:-)

Oh that was just one song? I thought it was a long list of song titles cleverly ordered to rhyme.

Nope, all Merle Haggard doing what he does best, which is sing some really, really depressings songs. I figured a song about falling apart would be apropos though.

A song about falling apart will be more appropriate on a Brewers blog.

Reds Blow bases loaded - 0 out opportunity. Still 3-1 Brewers, Bottom 4 5-4 Phils, Bottom of 7. So despite the Phils and Brewers not doing well, they will have gained 3 and 3.5 games respectively over the last 9 days with wins today. Cubs need to turn it on. Now.

oh, and the Astros will have gained 6.5 games over that period. I wonder why for years they only decide to play baseball after the all-star break? The runs they go on at the end of seasons is amazing for an otherwise crap team.

Reds Blow bases loaded - 0 out opportunity. ------------- more specifically, Paul Bako blows...

I can't believe I'm sitting here waiting to see if a team with Bako, Corey Patterson, and Jerry Hairston Jr. on it can come back from a 4-1 deficit. It's like it's 2006 all over again.

REDS LEAD!

Lance Berkman just got whacked directly in the forehead on a throw by the catcher on an attempted bunt that got deflected by the runner. He has a welt the size of an orange on his forehead although he's staying in the game (7th inning). Weirdest thing I've seen in awhile.

Also from the Reds game tonight filed under "some things never change, no matter how absurd..." Corey Patterson was Dusty's leadoff hitter tonight. 0-4. Ended the night hitting .202, OBP around .239

5-4 !!!!!!!! pays to taunt CPat!

Reds causing two blown saves in two days... of course this isn't in cincy and the irony of Cordero having to close it out is apparent.

Wow. Who woulda thought of the Reds as heartbreakers? Guess that Dusty Baker really is a good manager huh?

w00t! Bizarre backwards anti-faith rewarded. Go F-Cord!

Wooooooooo.... 5-4 final Reds are a nondenominational spoiler. Great catch by Jay Bruce for the 2nd out.

That's huge! Now, if I'm the Brewers...I start to panic. Only 3 ahead of the Phils for the WC. Absolutely amazing that the Astros are now within 5 of playoff spot.

magic number for division title is down one, to 15

NL Central: What the hell is going on? I will sleep well tonight!

Dear Reds, Yesterday I hated you, I cursed your very name, I wished for the obliteration of your franchise. Today I say, and I mean this in the most heartfelt of ways, boo yah. Yours, Pell Mell

I saw Mark Saccomano homered for the Astros. Any relation to Bob?

Obscure Seinfeld reference ignored. Shucks.

Is he the one who sells the rat hats?

Among a thousand other things that Kramer tells us about. But just like Lomez he is never seen.

2-6 homestand for the Brewers so far. Hopefully the Reds win tomorrow as CC & Sheets to follow on Wed & Thu.

I don't know about you, but I'm thinking that with the standings the way they are after the Reds' terrific win tonight, the Cubs are halfway there, whoa-oh, living on a...oops

CC & Sheets to follow on Wed & Thu. ---------------- Here's the probables as best as I can tell: Tues vs Reds, R. Ramirez (0-0) vs Suppan Wed vs Reds, Arroyo vs Sabathia Thurs vs Phillies, Sheets vs Moyer (although he pitched on sunday because of the sat. rainout...so they might use someone on a spot start) Friday vs Phillies, Parra vs Santana

cakefarts? ---------- it that what you get from eating too much cabbage cake?

Naked chicks farting on cakes. I shit you not (no pun intended). As crunch would say, "Go internets!"

We all know crunch has some pretty weird fetishes, but what do you expect, the guys a douche, remember?

I think cakefarts is Carlo's thing, not crunch's. I was just borrowing crunch's saying 'go internet'. But yes, crunch is douchetastic.

Seems like this would be a trifecta: http://www.last.fm/music/Commodores/+videos/+1-rrBx6mAWYPU Beloved former broadcaster, the home park, and our hopes for the sturdiness of Cub pitchers.

Astros are 30-11 since July 26, including two 8 game win streaks. moved from 9 under .500 to 10 over. Before/After all star break: 2002: 4 under/10 over 2003: 6 over/6 over 2004: 0 under/22 over (48-26) 2005: 1 over/15 over(45-30) 2006: 3 under/5 over 2007: 11 under/5 under 2008: 7 under/17 over 7 straight years with a better record 2nd half. 18 under .500 in 1st half 82 over .500 in 2nd half The difference between 1st half and 2nd half is startling in itself...but more startling considering that they aren't good teams that get great...they are middling mediocre teams that suddenly wake up and can't be beat. Odd coincidence year after year after year.

I dreamt last night the Cubs signed Sosa. He would do in the Astros at Tenrun Stadium.

i wondering about this weekends games in houston there seems to be a hurricane alert for texas looks like it will go south of houston but has mlb acknowledged this yet.

>looks like it will go south of houston Not SoHo! My favorite little art boutiques are there! And a charming little Italian bistro! George W. Bush doesn't care about beatniks!!

Points for Brick.

Just close the roof on the juice box. it will be fine.

No one will think you are a quitter if you get the surgery tomorrow Albert. Right guys? http://mlb.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20080908&content_id=3441558&vkey=news_mlb&fext=.jsp&c_id=mlb&partnerId=rss_mlb

I will never truly defend the crap that is Bon Jovi, BUT the chorus of the song is actually appropriate: Whooah, were half way there Livin on a prayer Take my hand and well make it - I swear Livin on a prayer It's basically about having faith that everything will turn out right. Now, excuse my while I go puke.

I believe the objection, beyond the main idea that Bon Jovi is crap, is that the lyrics imply in their relation to the Cubs that this team needs a prayer. However, they've been in first place for a while and have been the best team in the NL. Needing a prayer isn't the right attitude anymore. They need something that implies they are working on total domination, not that they are hoping that they might actually win the game.

http://cubs.scout.com/2/787246.html Pitchers Ryan Acosta, RHP Jeff Beliveau, LHP Alberto Cabrera, RHP David Cales, RHP Chris Carpenter, RHP Andrew Cashner, RHP Miguel Corletto, RHP Diego Encarnacion, RHP Erik Hamren, RHP James Leverton, LHP Oswaldo Martinez, RHP Toby Matchulat, RHP Dan McDaniel, RHP Tommy Mejia, RHP Tarlandas Mitchell, RHP John Muller, RHP Jake Muyco, RHP Andres Quezada, RHP Jayson Ruhlman, LHP Dustin Sasser, LHP Brian Schlitter, RHP Aaron Shafer, RHP Luke Sommer, LHP Larry Suarez, RHP Steve Vento, RHP Catchers Mike Brenly Matt Cerda Robinson Chirinos Luis Flores Juan Medina Infielders Rebel Ridling, 1B Josh Harrison, 2B Jake Opitz, 2B Starlin Castro, SS Junior Lake, SS Carlos Morales, SS Jovan Rosa, 3B Josh Vitters, 3B Logan Watkins, 2B/SS Outfielders Tony Campana Brandon Guyer Dylan Johnston

Looks like the 8/16 game vs Brewers will determine the fate of the universe- http://chicago.cubs.mlb.com/schedule/index.jsp?c_id=chc

9/16...but thanks for noticing. Means I'm doing my job well. (No joke) mlb.com would be doing their job better if the vader head was clickable to what it's supposed to be promoting.

Soto won ROM for August. (don't see it posted yet) http://chicago.cubs.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20080908&content_id=3438916&vkey=news_chc&fext=.jsp&c_id=chc

Pie is <a href="http://chicagocubsonline.com/">getting called up</a>. VA Phil - I thought you said he wouldn't be coming up? <strong>UPDATE</strong>: Bruce Miles <a href="http://blogs.dailyherald.com/node/515">confirms it</a>.

I'd have to check but I think I started that sentence with the words "I'm not sure"--as in, I'm not sure that Pie will get a call-up. If Pie is his old self, he doesn't add any value, since Reed Johnson already deserves more playing time and does the things that Pie was supposed to, including (or especially) <a href="http://loubrockfanclub.com/?p=35">baserunning</a>. Of course, if Pie is able to reinvent himself as a major-league-ready hitter, that's a different story. Since Pie may not get many at-bats this month, a lot is riding on how well he hits in the DR league this winter, where he usually bats .220-.230, just like in the majors. If he struggles again in the DR, he won't be a Cub next April, since according to AZ Phil they can't send him to the minors again.

http://www.suntimes.com/sports/baseball/cubs/1152102,CST-SPT-cub09.article "Just do the math. If they win only one game in each series the rest of the way for a 6-13 finish, the top challenger in a would-be wild-card race, Philadelphia, would need to go 13-5 to tie the Cubs."

While certainly unlikely, I don't think it's out of the question that the Phils go 13-5 and the Cubs go 6-13 given the competition. No matter...it's all about 1 game at a time. Win 2 of 3 in STL, and we buy ourselves a bigger margin of error to stink up the joint somewhere else.

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