Bad Cold War cartoon: Castro, Kennedy fire missiles at each other.

After finishing this drawing yesterday, I realized that the historical significance of this matchup might not only be lost on some of you, but not interesting and perhaps in bad taste to most of you as well.
So, uh, lets just talk about the fabulous entertainment our favorite team gave us last night.

Featuring a monster homer, a frightened DBack 3rd baseman, a stupid DBack pitcher, clutch hitting, clutch walking, an ejection, and the first win for Cub Matt Garza, this game had it all.

First, the top of the 2nd.
Alfonso Soriano got ahold of one. There's a giant green wall under and around the scoreboard at Chase Field, and even on hi-def the light was so flat (with no shadow) I couldn't tell where it hit. But this ball was so crushed...I wish they'd keep the radar on balls that get hit. 
I read a Paul Sullivan re-tweet that said: "Richie Sexson in 2004 is the only other hitter to hit scoreboard before Soriano tonight." 

Then, the 4th.
Starlin Castro did indeed hit a missile (grounder) past overmatched DBack 3rd baseman Melvin Mora, who deftly moved his feet as if to appear ready to field a ball that clearly gave him the fear, and then like a matador watched it go by for a double.
Not to be outdone, pitcher Ian Kennedy idiotically decides to pitch to Freaky Hot Alfonso Soriano with Castro on 3rd, 1st and 2nd open, and 2 outs.
Soriano drills it.
Cubs 2 DBacks 1.

5th.
With Darwin Barney on 1st, Aramis Ramirez hits a pitch that's about 10 feet inside. It goes deep into the LF corner and Barney, a hustling machine, scores standing up.

Top of the 9th. 
With Byrd on 1st, Soto crappily bunts right back to closer J.J. Putz, who wheels and throws it to where SS Stephen Drew was before he ran over to cover second. Stretching like a 1st baseman, Drew barely keeps a toe on the bag before falling. Byrd's out and...hey wait just a darn second here. 
Mike Quade is either really really angry or just doing his part to fire up the team with some awesome acting, because he's got his arms behind his back (to keep from punching anybody?) and...yelling at the ump, pointing to where Drew was, running around, getting in the ump's face...and tossed!
I immediately put him in the 5% Cooler Club as he stalks off the field. 
And now it's Tyler Colvin.
He goes 0-2 and I'm waiting for the strike out...but hey wait just a darn 9 more pitches here.
He walks, brilliantly.
With guys on 1st and 2nd and now 2 outs, 2 balls, and 2 strikes, Darwin Barney clutchly hits one right at and past Putz, who is still sitting on his ass when Soto crosses the plate.
Loud non-words from my mouth, beer spills on coffee table, and I'm told to stop scaring the dogs as Starlin knocks in the last run and Len reminds us that all the Cub runs tonight came with 2 outs.

Wow.

And it also means that Matt Garza, who set a Cub strikeout record for April, gets the W.

For a couple 4th place teams, this was just a wonderful game.

Lastly, I didn't mention that Other Freaky Hot Hitter Jeff Baker did something bad to himself while at bat, and since he was already playing for trainwreck Carlos Pena, I'm hoping Mr. Quade sees fit to put Tyler Colvin at first today.

 Go Cubs.