Keep Your Eye on the Crystal Ball
Pre-holiday musings while waiting for some real news about PLAYING personnel:
•Due to overcrowding in the front office the saber-squad works out of the Wrigley Field scoreboard. You know, inside the numbers.
•Prince Fielder re-ups with the Brewers and gives them a substantial hometown discount now that Sveum is finally gone.
•Sveum’s brother, Sven, joins the team as a rowing [pronounced roving] instructor.
•Alfonso Soriano finally goes to the wall on a ball and gets lost in the ivy. After the search is called off the team schedules “burn the contract night.” The first 10,000 through the turnstiles get facsimiles of Soriano’s contract and matches with which to light them during the 7th inning stretch.
•During Miami’s first visit to Wrigley Carlos Zambrano defects to the visiting clubhouse where Ozzie Guillen grants him asylum. Negotiations lead to the Marlins’ sending Andre Dawson back to the Cubs as compensation.
•Theo does away with the celebrity sing-alongs in favor of medleys performed by him, Hoyer and Wayne Messmer. Besides “Take Me Out to the Ballgame,” repertoire includes old Lettermen and Kingston Trio hits like “Shangri-La,” “Greenback Dollar” and “Hang Down Your Head, Mike Quade.”
•Sandberg is hired as Sveum’s understudy and later suspended when he tests positive for HPH (Human Personality Hormone) after knocking a few jokes out of the park in meetings with the beat writers. Quade is heard somewhere saying, “&%$@#* Sandy!”
•Change the Culture Night features espresso flowing from the taps and in the dugout water coolers in twin spirits of urgency and hustle. 11 Cub base stealers thrown out, including Bryan LaHair trying to stretch a HBP into a double.
•Cubs begin selling “gull safari” packages as a new revenue stream, allowing fans the chance to shoot birds from the bleachers after daytime home games.
•Team finishes out of the money in Year One but Hoyer does win the MLB General Managers’ Fantasy League with no Cubs on his roster.
Have a great Thanksgiving everybody. Never thought I'd say this but, GO PACKERS!
I definitely hang around here looking to reply to your comments as noticed by my nearly year long absence.
there's a fine line between posting something relevant, useful or at least humorous versus posting something irrelevant, useless or unfunny...actually it's rather quite a thick line and easy to see for most people not named crunch.
I certainly am digging the RISP machine Zobrist version.
Cubs are taking advantage of bad D by their opponents -- did it a few times in PIT and the Nats botched 2-out rundown leads to 3 Cub runs in the 8th. Which were nice to have.
I hope Kyle had fun at the dance party -- he was terrific.
i hope he's getting more consideration for the 2-slot vs lefties, too.
I hope we can dispense with the Zobrist RISP concerns.
Is this heaven?
They call me Schwarberino because I'm basically Ruth,
and as long as we're rapping I'm gonna tell you the truth:
This team would be even better if I wasn't laid up;
we'd win the World Series, the Superbowl, and the Stanley Cup.
As long as we're at it, I'm putting the Premier League on notice.
Hell, if I were healthy, Epstein could run for POTUS.
My busted knee's even sadder than this presidential kerfuffle,
but my first rehab assignment will be the World Series Shuffle.
I am avoiding grading papers.
With Mutton on the DL now, does Victorino finally get to Iowa?
Chat ... is happening.
I agree completely with Dusty. I appreciate him much more as the Nats skipper than as the Cubs.
so, what you're saying is you keep bringing up something over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over like you did with this issue for years back in the day...and obviously still into today...
...but that's fine if you do it.
brb, forming my next dozen replies for why you should shut up and never say anything about it again...oh wait, no i'm not because i'm not hanging around looking to tell you to shut up about repeating the same thing over and over and over and over...
Heyward looked fine shagging flies in BP. Wouldn't surprise me to see him in the line up tomorrow.
this seems like it could be an interesting series...parachat worthy.
speed leads...nothing ever changes. that's been a dusty thing since...forever.
holy shit, really? I made the comment because I had just discovered this novel trait that Dusty possesses.
btw, check out the leadoff hitter of the WS champion KC last year.
waaaat????? again with the knowledge dropping, I literally had no idea.